Page 6 of Certified Pressure 3 (Certified Pressure #3)

That night I was sittin’ on the edge of my bed, rollin’ up, just tryna calm my head.

The house was quiet except for the water runnin’ in the bathroom.

Ka’mari had been in there too long. I ain’t know what it was, but somethin’ in me jumped.

My body moved before my mind caught up, and I was on my feet pushin’ the door open.

What I saw made my heart damn near explode.

Ka’mari was leaned over the sink with a pill bottle in her hand, and I caught her throwin’ back a couple of them, her throat workin’ like she was swallowin’ poison. My stomach flipped.

“Ka’mari, the fuck is you doin’?!”

I rushed her, snatchin’ her wrist so hard the bottle clattered against the counter.

She gasped, tryin’ to turn away, but I was already in her face.

I grabbed her by the throat, not to hurt her but to make her spit that shit back up.

She gagged, coughin’, her eyes wide as she clawed at my wrist. I was shakin’ her, beggin’ and threatenin’ her stupid ass at the same time.

“Spit that shit out, Mari! Spit it the fuck out!”

But I knew from the look in her eyes it was too late. The pills was already gone, slidin’ down into her stomach, killin’ somethin’ I ain’t even had the chance to meet yet.

Rage shot through me so quick I couldn’t control it.

I let her go, turned, and swung at the mirror.

Glass shattered everywhere, shards rainin’ down on the sink and blood pourin’ out my knuckles like somebody turned on a faucet.

My reflection was gone, broken into pieces, and maybe that was the realest shit ‘cause I felt broken too.

Blood dripped onto the marble counter, slidin’ down the edge, stainin’ the white floor. My hand was on fire, but I ain’t feel nothin’ except betrayal. My voice tore outta me raw.

“What the fuck did you just do? Huh? What the fuck did you do, Ka’mari?”

She was cryin’ hard now, her hands shakin’ as she tried to grab mine, seein’ the blood runnin’ down my arm. “Pressure, please—”

“Nah, shut the fuck up! Don’t ‘please’ me. Tell me right now what the fuck you just did!”

She backed up against the wall, her face wet, her whole body tremblin’. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t go through that again with you. I can’t lose another baby like Kamir. I can’t.”

Her words cut deep, but they ain’t stop the fire in me.

I stepped toward her, blood sprayin’ when I pointed at her stomach.

“So you think the answer was to kill mine? You think you get to make that muthafuckin’ choice without me?

You gon’ look me in my eyes after everything we been through and tell me you just threw my baby away like that? ”

She sobbed so loud it bounced off the walls. “I was scared, Pressure! I can’t breathe sometimes! I can’t sleep! I see him in my dreams every night. I couldn’t do it again, I can’t carry that pain—”

I slammed my fist into the wall next to her head, glass cuttin’ deeper into my skin, blood streakin’ across the paint.

“And you think I ain’t hurt too? You think losin’ my son didn’t fuck me up?

You think I don’t wake up every night hearin’ him cryin’ even though he never even got the chance?

You think I ain’t dyin’ inside every time I look at you and remember what we lost?

But I was willin’ to fight through that shit!

I was willin’ to try again. And you took that from me. ”

She slid down the wall to the floor, coverin’ her face with her hands, her whole body shakin’ like she was freezin’.

I stood over her, my blood dripplin’ onto her arm, my heart poundin’ so loud I couldn’t even hear myself think.

I wanted to grab her and shake her until she understood what she just did, but somethin’ in me froze.

I knew if I touched her again in that moment, I might do life in prison.

She looked up at me finally, her eyes wide with fear, and that’s when I realized she wasn’t just scared of what she had done. She was scared of me.

“Mari,” I said, my voice breakin’ even though I tried to keep it strong, “you really just killed my baby.”

She scrambled to her feet, pushin’ past me, and ran out the bathroom.

I didn’t chase her, ‘cause I couldn’t. My chest felt too heavy.

My knees gave out, and I leaned against the sink, watchin’ my blood pool on the floor.

My reflection was gone, with just shards of glass showin’ pieces of my face… pieces of my life.

I pressed my hand against the counter, lettin’ the pain in my knuckles drown out the scream that was trapped inside me.

I didn’t even know if she was really pregnant.

I ain’t know if them pills actually ended a life.

But my gut told me the truth, and I knew Ka’mari wouldn’t have been that desperate if it wasn’t real.

I slammed the pill bottle across the room. My breath was heavy, my vision blurry and my whole body shakin’. I felt rage, but under it was somethin’ worse.

It was betrayal...

My own girl, the one I was holdin’ every night tryin’ to keep from fallin’ apart, had gone behind my back and did somethin’ that cut me deeper than any enemy ever could.

That was the moment somethin’ inside me flipped. If Ka’mari thought she could make choices like that without me, then she ain’t know me at all. I wasn’t about to let her move around me no more.

From that night forward, I promised myself I was gon’ be in control. She wasn’t gon’ get the chance to cross me like that again. If she was gon’ be in my life, she was gon’ move how I said, and that was the beginnin’ of me takin’ over her world piece by piece.

I wrapped a towel around my hand, squeezin’ it tight, watchin’ the blood seep through. My heart felt like it was bein’ carved open with a blade, but my mind was already hardenin’.

Ka’mari thought she was protectin’ herself, but all she did was turn me into somethin’ darker. And deep down, I knew there was no comin’ back from that.