Page 55 of Certified Pressure 3 (Certified Pressure #3)

Royal Oaks Subdivision in Trill-Land

As soon as I pulled up to Pluto’s crib, I parked crooked in the driveway and hopped out.

My head was still spinnin’ from all that liquor, and my heart felt heavy as hell.

I wasn’t even supposed to be here. I had just left my bachelor party, half drunk, half pissed, and all the way done with pretendin’ like I ain’t miss Pluto.

I kept tellin’ myself I was just gon’ pull up to talk, but I already knew what that meant.

I could still see them texts between us flashin’ in my mind, all that back and forth and all them smart-ass replies she sent.

I should’ve left her alone and turned around the moment I hit that corner, but somethin’ in me wouldn’t let me.

I walked up the driveway slow, starin’ at the door like it was the one thing in the world that could calm me down.

I rang the bell once, then knocked a few times.

The sound felt loud against the silence.

I waited for a lil’ minute bit ain’t hear nothin’ on the other end.

I rubbed a hand over my face and shook my head, thinkin’ maybe she fell asleep.

Then I heard the soft click of the lock and her voice on the other side.

“Who is it?”

Her voice always did somethin’ to me, even when she said it like she was annoyed, tired and over my shit.

“You know who it is,” I said. “Open the door.”

It took a few seconds, but then it swung open.

She had on this lavender silk gown that hung off her shoulders and brushed against her legs.

Her belly was round and beautiful, pokin’ out just enough to remind me of everything we had made together.

She looked tired, but she still looked good enough to make my heart drop.

I stared at her for a second, and she just stared back like she ain’t know whether to hug me or cuss me out.

“What are you doing here, Pressure?” she asked with a lil’ attitude, her eyes narrowin’.

“The fuck you mean why I’m here? All the shit you texted me…. I’m here now, so what’s up?”

She rolled her eyes and started to close the door, but I caught it before she could. I ain’t grab her hard, just firm enough to stop it from shuttin’ it in my damn face.

“Move, Pressure. It’s late,” she said.

“I said I’m here. So talk.”

“I don’t got nothing to say.”

I pushed the door enough to walk inside, and she sighed, steppin’ back but not sayin’ I could come in either. I locked the door behind me and leaned on it for a second, tryna calm the way my heart was beatin’.

“Zurie’s sleep,” she said, her voice softer now. “You need to leave before you wake her up.”

“Man, Zurie good,” I said. “Ain’t nobody wakin’ her up.”

We stood there starin’ at each other. All that arguin’ from earlier, all that hurt we threw back and forth through text, it was still sittin’ between us. I could see it in her eyes. The anger, the love, confusion—All that.

“You drunk?” she asked, her voice low.

“Yeah. A lil’ bit,” I replied, my eyes still on her.

She shook her head. “You shouldn’t have came here.”

“Maybe not,” I said, “but I did.”

She crossed her arms, her stomach liftin’ as she did. “Pressure, you need to go home. You got a weddin’ tomorrow, remember?”

Her words cut deep. I wanted to act like it didn’t, but it did. I stepped closer, watchin’ the way she backed up, but ain’t move too far.

“You mad about that, but still actin’ like you don’t give a fuck.”

“I’m not mad about nothing. I just don’t want to do this with you tonight.”

“Too late for that.”

She looked up at me with hard eyes, then turned away, shakin’ her head like she couldn’t believe I was even standin’ here.

“Pressure, you’re drunk so just stop,” she said.

“You always come around when you been drinking, talking out your neck, saying anything that come to your mind. You don’t even think about what that shit do to me. ”

I laughed under my breath, even though it wasn’t funny. “Man, here you go with that.”

“Here I go with what?” she shot back, spinnin’ around to face me. “You think you can just show up whenever you feel like it. Pressure. I’m dead ass tired of this. You can’t keep doing this to me.”

I took a step toward her. “Doing what to you? Takin’ care of you? Makin’ sure you, Zurie and my son got everything y’all need? You act like I ain’t been here. You act like I don’t break my back to make sure y’all straight.”

Her eyes flared, and she pointed at me. “You think money fix everything! You think just because you pay bills and keep me in a nice house that it make up for the shit you do?”

“Don’t start this shit again,” I said, my voice risin’.

“Don’t sit here and act like I’m some deadbeat.

You ain’t had to work since I met you. You ain’t lifted a damn finger, Pluto.

You got every fuckin’ thing you want. I made sure Zurie got that surgery without you havin’ to beg or borrow from nobody.

She in a good ass school and don’t have to catch the bus, ‘cause I fuckin’ make sure her driver on time.

But you still wanna act like I don’t give a fuck? Girl, you trippin’.”

Her voice cracked when she yelled back. “I didn’t ask for your money, Pressure! I asked for you!”

That hit different. The way she said it, the way her lip trembled and her eyes glossed over—it felt like a punch to the chest.

“You think I ain’t been here?” I said. “You think I ain’t showed up every time you called?

You think I don’t care about you or my son?

You got me fucked up. Everything I been doin’, I did for y’all.

And you asked for me? How? Even my fuckin’ mama can’t get through to you!

You don’t want shit but to drive a nigga crazy! ”

“You proposed to somebody else,” she said, her voice low but shakin’.

“You did that shit right in front of me, Pressure. I was standin’ right there, pregnant with your child, watchin’ you put a ring on Kashmere’s finger like I ain’t even exist. You looked me dead in my face and chose her anyway. You know what that did to me?”

She swallowed hard, her eyes wet now. “I haven’t been the same since that day. That shit hurt.”

“Man, stop it,” I said, shakin’ my head. “You act like you perfect. You pushed me away every chance you got. You always talkin’ about space, about needin’ time, about how you don’t trust me, and now you mad ‘cause I moved on?”

She stepped closer, her face right up in mine now.

“You didn’t move on. You just wanted to hurt me back.

And you did. You hurt me in ways you don’t even understand.

I begged you, Pressure. I cried to you. I told you I needed you, and you still walked away.

You left me carryin’ your baby and went to play house with somebody else. ”

I clenched my jaw, tryin’ to keep my voice even. “You wasn’t the only one hurtin’ around this muthafucka, Pluto. You think that shit was easy for me? You think I don’t think about you every damn day? You think I don’t miss you?”

Her voice cracked as she said, “Then why her?”

I opened my mouth, but nothin’ came out.

She stepped even closer, her eyes wet and voice trembling. “Why her, Pressure? Why you couldn’t love me enough to stay or at least wait on me?”

I stared at her, breathin’ heavy and watchin’ the way her stomach lifted and fell under that gown.

“You don’t get it,” I said quietly. “You act like I ain’t been fightin’ for you this whole time.

You act like I don’t lose sleep over you.

I did everything right by you, but it still wasn’t enough.

What the fuck else you want from me? Do you even hear yo’self right now? ”

“I wanted you to understand me.”

I looked at her, standin’ there, hair messy, eyes full of tears, and her belly round with my son. Everything about her screamed home, and I hated how bad I wanted her right then.

She looked up at me, and I swear it felt like the whole room stopped movin’. All that anger she had in her eyes started meltin’ into somethin’ else that looked like pain and love all mixed together. My heart was still racin’, but I couldn’t stop lookin’ at her.

I reached up and grabbed her face, and before she could say anything, I kissed her.

At first, she froze, like she wanted to fight it, but she didn’t.

She couldn’t. I felt her breathin’ shift, her lips partin’ against mine, and her hands slidin’ up my chest until her fingers hooked around my neck.

She pulled me down to her, kissin’ me back like all that hate just turned into somethin’ she couldn’t hold anymore.

It was desperate and messy, and a kiss that came from two people who been hurtin’ each other for too long but still couldn’t let go.

She tried to push me off, her hands pressin’ against my chest, her voice breakin’ as she said, “Stop.” I didn’t.

I grabbed her waist, and she hit me once, tears spillin’ down her face.

Then she slapped me.

It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but it stopped me for a second.

Her chest was heavin’, her lips tremblin’, and her whole body shakin’ like she was fightin’ everything inside her.

I caught her hand before she could pull it back to slap me again, and kissed the back of it slow, never takin’ my eyes off hers.

“Don’t,” she whispered, her voice still tremblin’. “Don’t do that.”

I kissed her hand again, then pulled her close until her face was inches from mine.

“Why you always do this to me?” she whispered, tears rollin’ down her cheeks.

My voice came out low, rough, but honest. “’Cause I can’t live without you.”

She exhaled hard, like those words broke somethin’ inside her, and before she could say anything else, I kissed her again.

This time she didn’t fight me. She grabbed my face, cryin’ and kissin’ me at the same time, like she hated me and needed me all in the same breath.

All that anger we had been holdin’ on to fell apart right there. I felt her hands slide up my chest, and I knew she was gone. Hell, I was gone too.