Page 48 of Certified Pressure 3 (Certified Pressure #3)

I stepped closer, leanin’ with one arm against the frame above her head. For a second, neither one of us said anything. We just looked at each other.

“You good?” I asked, my voice low.

She nodded, but her eyes gave her away. She was tryna act calm, but I could see it.

“I’mma put some money in your account tonight,” I told her, my hand slidin’ into my pocket. “If Zurie need anything, let me know.”

She nodded again, still starin’ up at me like she wanted to say somethin’ else. Her lips parted, and I thought maybe she was about to, but she stopped herself.

I stood there a second, watchin’ walk in the house before I got back in the car and sat still. For a minute, I just stared at my own reflection in the rearview. My life felt like it was split in two.

When I pulled off, I drove slow, takin’ the long way back to the mansion. I rolled the window down, lettin’ the air hit my face, tryna calm the mess goin’ on in my head.

I thought about Pluto the whole way, and the way she looked when she stood at the door, and the way her eyes said shit she never say out loud.

She was tryin’ to play strong, but I knew her.

I could feel that pull between us, and I hated it because I ain’t even know what the fuck to do with it.

Then my mama basically tellin’ us we needed to get married didn’t make the shit no better.

To be honest, I ain’t know how long we was gon’ keep actin’ like we wasn’t in love sign each other.

Then I thought about Kashmere.

She was home right now, probably waitin’ up for me.

She complained, yeah, but most women do.

At the same time, I ain’t feel like she was cruel.

She showed up for me, and she tried to understand me even when I made that damn near impossible.

She wasn’t the villain in my story, but at the same time, she wasn’t the peace either.

I couldn’t sit here and say she didn’t love me, ‘cause I knew she did, but it was like her love came with conditions. It came with pressure, no pun intended.

Pluto’s love was different. She ain’t ask for shit. She ain’t chase me or try to make me prove nothin’. She just existed, and somehow that made her harder to shake.

The thought alone made me grip the wheel tighter. I ain’t never been the type to play both sides, but that’s exactly what I was doin’, and it was eatin’ me up. I ain’t wanna hurt Kashmere, but I didn’t wanna lose Pluto either. It was like I was stuck between what made sense and what felt real.

I loved Kashmere, or at least I thought I did, but when I looked at Pluto, I saw somethin’ I ain’t even know I was lookin’ for. That shit scared me sometimes.

I sighed and turned down my street. The mansion lights was still on, glowin’ through the trees, and I knew she was up. My heart felt heavy, knowin’ I was about to break her heart.

Now that she wasn’t pregnant, there wasn’t no more excuses. I couldn’t keep hidin’ behind what-ifs. I had to stop pretendin’.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, the sky was dark. I parked and got out, slid my keys in my pocket, and headed inside.

I took the elevator up and walked straight to our room. “Kash?” I called.

The bed was still made, and a glass of wine sat half full on the dresser. Her phone was on the nightstand. I turned toward the bathroom, seein’ light peekin’ through the doorway.

When I stepped in, my heart dropped.

Kashmere was on the floor, her body twisted like she had collapsed mid-move. Her skin was pale, and foam had formed around her mouth. Her eyes was half open but looked lifeless, and her chest rose only slightly with shallow, chokin’ breaths.

“What the fuck,” I muttered, rushin’ over to her.

I knelt down fast, slidin’ my hand under her head. “Kash! Baby, wake up!”

Her body twitched once, but she didn’t respond. I touched her face, and her skin felt clammy. Her breathin’ was barely there, like she was fightin’ for every bit of air.

That’s when I saw a pill bottle layin’ on the tile near the tub, a few pills spilled out beside it. My hands started shakin’. I picked the shit up, and felt my stomach twist.

“Oh hell nah,” I said under my breath as I grabbed my phone and called 911.

The dispatcher picked up fast. “911, what’s your emergency?”

“My fiancé,” I said, my voice shakin’ but low. “She overdosed or somethin’. She barely breathin’. I need somebody here now.”

“Okay, sir, stay on the line with me. What’s her name?”

“Kashmere,” I said, my voice crackin’. “Her name Kashmere.”

“Alright sir. I need you to stay calm. Help is on the way, but I need you to check if she’s breathin’. Put your ear close to her mouth and tell me if you hear or feel any air.”

I crouched down, leanin’ close. Her breaths was faint, almost like she was strugglin’ just to pull one in. “She breathin’, but barely,” I said, my hands shakin’.

“Okay, is she conscious at all? Try talkin’ to her.”

“Kash, hey,” I said, pattin’ her face lightly. “Come on, baby. Open your eyes.”

Her lashes fluttered once, then her head went limp again.

“Sir, you need to roll her on her side in case she vomits. Keep her airway clear. Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I got it.” I slid one hand under her shoulder and the other under her hip, turnin’ her gently so she was on her side. Her body was heavy, like dead weight in my hands.

“Good. Is there anything around her? Pill bottles or alcohol?”

“Yeah. It’s pills. Looks like she took a lot.”

“What kind of pills, sir?”

I picked up the bottle, squintin’ through the blur in my eyes. “I don’t even know, I just know she took ‘em.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Don’t give her anything to eat or drink. Just keep her on her side and keep talkin’ to me until help arrives.”

“She gon’ be alright, right?” I asked, even though I already knew she was slippin’.

“Paramedics are on the way. You’re doin’ good. Just stay calm for her, okay?”

I nodded. My hands was shakin’, my heart racin’, but I wasn’t about to let Kashmere die on my floor.

“I’m movin’ her downstairs,” I said suddenly, my voice rough. “They ain’t gon’ make it up here fast enough.”

“Okay, if you can safely move her, go ahead.”

I stuffed my phone and the pill bottle in my pocket, slid my arms under Kash, and lifted her off the floor. Her head dropped back against my chest, her mouth still slightly open. A weak wheezin’ sound came out every few seconds.

“You still with me, baby?” I said, my voice low as I carried her through the room. “Come on now. Don’t do this to me.”

I held her close, movin’ fast toward the elevator. The dispatcher’s voice was still comin’ through the phone. “Sir, is she still breathing?”

Still holdin’ Kash tight, I managed to reach in my pocket and grab my phone. “Yeah, but it’s light. Real light.”

“Alright, keep her tilted on her side once you get her to the main floor. The ambulance should be there any second.”

“Stay with me, Kash,” I said as I carried her toward the elevator. Her fingers twitched against me, and her eyes rolled back before closin’. I hit the elevator button, my heart poundin’ so hard it hurt.

By the time I reached the front door, I could already see the red and blue lights through the glass. The ambulance pulled in fast once I buzzed the gate open. I stepped outside still holdin’ her, and the paramedics ran toward me with a stretcher.

“I think she overdosed,” I said quickly as I laid her down on it. “I found her on the bathroom floor. Pills everywhere.”

Once I handed them the pill bottle, they didn’t waste a second. One of them hooked her up to a monitor while the other opened her airway. Her body jerked slightly when they started workin’, but her eyes never opened. One of the medics told me she had a pulse, but it was weak.

They lifted her into the ambulance, talkin’ to each other in medical terms I ain’t even understand. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and followed right behind them in my car.

The sirens screamed through the night while I drove close behind, my headlights flashin’ against the back of the ambulance. My mind was racin’, thinkin’ about every word, every argument and every time I told her I needed space. I ain’t even know what the hell pushed her to this point.

Maybe it was the pressure of everything, or maybe she felt me driftin’ and didn’t know how to pull me back. Either way, I couldn’t shake the image of her layin’ on that floor.

I gripped the steering wheel hard, my jaw clenched. I kept askin’ myself if I was the reason.

I could see the flashin’ red from the ambulance ahead bouncin’ off the glass buildings as we sped toward the hospital. The city looked blurry from how fast we was goin’.

All I could think about was how close I might come to losin’ Kash. No matter what we was goin’ through, I never wanted it to end like this.

When the ambulance turned into the emergency entrance, I followed, pullin’ in right behind them. I parked crooked, and jumped out, watchin’ as they wheeled her inside.

The doors shut behind us, and I just stood there, feelin’ numb. The sound of the siren still echoed in my ears even though it had stopped.

Right now,, I didn’t have a plan, and I didn’t have words. All I had was the image of Kashmere’s body goin’ limp in my arms and a mind full of questions that I couldn’t answer.