Page 22 of Certified Pressure 3 (Certified Pressure #3)

The truth was, they was both right. Deep down, I knew that, but how in the fuck was I supposed to be with somebody who barely let me in?

Pluto wasn’t like other women. She was quiet but stubborn as fuck, and when she spoke, she meant what she said.

Technically, she never said she ain’t want me, but she made it real clear she wasn’t ‘bout to move how I wanted her to.

The more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off.

I hit the blunt again, lettin’ the smoke roll out my mouth slow while my thoughts circled around everything I had to juggle.

Kashmere was talkin’ about wedding plans and decor themes, and I couldn’t even focus on that.

She already wanted to plan guest lists, venues, color palettes, all that.

I tried to act like I cared, but my head was somewhere else completely.

All I could think about was that ultrasound sound Pluto sent me last night.

That fast lil’ heartbeat that made me sit there in the dark, starin’ at my phone like it held my whole future in its hands.

I ain’t know if I wanted a boy or a girl, but I kept thinkin’ about what a son would do to me.

A little man of mine would make me wanna get my shit together, make smarter moves and stop livin’ reckless just ‘cause I could. If it was a girl I would be on some different shit, ready to beat any nigga’s ass that looked at her wrong, always on guard and overprotective.

Either way, I already loved my baby, and I knew I was gon’ give ‘em everything I had in me.

By the time I pulled up to the crib, my head was cloudy from both the smoke and the thoughts that wouldn’t leave a nigga alone. I parked, grabbed my lighter, and tucked my blunt in the cup holder before steppin’ out. The house was quiet when I walked in, but it didn’t last long.

Kashmere was walkin’ down the hallway like she had been waitin’ on me all day. Her heels clicked across the floor, and her long curls bounced around her shoulders. She looked good, I wasn’t gon’ lie. But right when I opened my mouth to say somethin’, my phone started ringin’.

When I looked down and saw Pluto’s name, I ain’t even hesitate. I picked up. It didn’t matter what time or where I was, if Pluto called, I was answerin’.

“Pressure,” she said, her voice calm but serious. “If you really want me to come out there to Trill-Land soon, I’m gonna need your help.”

That got my attention fast. “Say less. What you need?”

She took a breath before speakin’. “I need to start the process to adopt Zurie. You already know how bad my parents messed things up. They can’t take care of her, but for the courts to take me serious, I have to prove I got the financial stability and living situation to raise her.

They’re already on my back about me being pregnant, and it’s making it harder. ”

I leaned against the wall, listenin’ close. “So what you sayin’? You need me to help make it official?”

“Basically,” she said. “Your lawyers, your connections, whatever you can do. If I can show I got the support, it’ll move faster. I just don’t want to lose her.”

I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “I got you. I’mma make some calls in the mornin’. I’ll have my legal team handle everything and make sure you and Zurie straight.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“You really gon’ go through with adoptin’ her?” I asked.

“Yeah. I have to.”

I could hear the emotion in her voice, and it hit me harder than I expected.

I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even notice Kashmere walkin’ up on me.

She came up and kissed me, slow at first, then deeper, like she wanted to make a point.

I didn’t push her off, but I pulled back just enough to mumble, “Hold on, let me handle this real quick.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes like she already knew who I was talkin’ to, then leaned closer, her voice just a lil’ louder than it needed to be. “So, how did the visit go with your parents? Did you tell them we’re gettin’ married?”

She said it like it was an innocent question, but I could hear the game in her tone. She wanted Pluto to hear every word.

Pluto must’ve heard her, ‘cause her tone changed right away. “Hmph. Clearly you’re busy, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait,” I said quick, but it was too late. She hung up.

Kashmere walked off like she won somethin’, tossin’ her hair over her shoulder and mumblin’ somethin’ under her breath. I stood there for a second, my jaw tight, tryin’ to calm the irritation boilin’ up inside me. It felt like I couldn’t breathe right.

I stepped outside and called Pluto right back. It rang a few times before she finally picked up. Her tone was cold. “What do you want, Pressure?”

I exhaled through my nose, tryin’ to keep my cool. Yo’, you just hung up in my fuckin’ face.”

“I will text you the information. We don’t need to talk on the phone.

“See, that’s what the fuck I’m talkin’ about,” I said, my nostrils flarin’. “You always got an attitude when it come to me. You called me for help, but act like it’s a favor I forced out you.”

She laughed under her breath. “You always think somebody got an attitude just ‘cause they don’t kiss your ass.”

“Ain’t nobody askin’ you to kiss shit’,” I shot back. “I just don’t get why you gotta make everything harder than it gotta be.”

“Harder?” she repeated. “You talking to me while your fiancé in the background talking about y’all wedding, and I’m the problem?”

That one hit different. “You really worried about what she said, huh?”

“I’m not worried,” Pluto said quick. “I don’t care what you do with her.”

“Then why you hang up?”

She went quiet for a second, and I could almost see her rollin’ her eyes through the phone. “Because I didn’t wanna hear that shit, that’s why.”

“Yeah, a’ight,” I said, smirkin’. “You can act like you don’t care all you want, but you the one callin’ me, remember?”

“I called you about Zurie, not your love life,” she snapped.

“Sound like both to me,” I said. “Every time we talk, it turn into somethin’ else. You don’t even realize you doin’ it.”

“I realize you love hearin’ yourself talk,” she said.

I laughed a lil’ bit. “And you love listenin’ to me. Shit… if we bein’ honest, it sound like you miss me.”

“I don’t,” she said fast.

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then why your voice get softer every time you say my name?”

Her silence said enough. I could almost feel her breath on the other end of the line, like the tension traveled through the signal itself.

“Pressure,” she said finally, her voice lower now. “You really think you can talk your way out of everything, don’t you?”

“I don’t gotta talk my way outta nothin’. You already know how this go,” I said. “You mad, I’m mad, but we still here. That’s the part that kill me. You can’t stand me, but you still callin’ me.”

She huffed, quiet for a beat, then said, “You ain’t shit.”

I smiled, lettin’ the words roll off me. “Maybe. But you carryin’ this ain’t shit nigga’s baby whether you like it or not.”

She ain’t respond right away, but I heard the sound she made when she tried not to smile.

“Goodnight, Pressure,” she said finally.

“Goodnight, Pluto.”

When the call ended, I just stood there, starin’ out at my cars. My pulse was still movin’ faster than it should’ve been. Me and Pluto argued damn near every time we talked. The shit was crazy.

I seriously needed to clear my fuckin’ head, so I stepped out back and lit one.

The night was warm, and the sound of the jungle around the estate filled the air.

I had a glass of Henny in one hand and smoke rollin’ out the other.

I just needed peace for a minute. My mind had been runnin’ wild all day, and no matter how much weed I smoked, I couldn’t calm it.

Everything was hittin’ me at once. Kashmere was inside actin’ like she was mad about some dumb shit, and Pluto was miles away carryin’ my child, barely talkin’ to me like I wasn’t breakin’ myself tryin’ to make it right.

I kept thinkin’ about just disappearin’ for a few days, sayin’ fuck everything and everybody, just to breathe.

I took another pull from the blunt and leaned back in the chair, watchin’ the smoke rise into the sky. My mind was loud as hell, but everything around me was quiet.

Then I heard the door behind me slide open. I ain’t even look at first, but when I heard it close, I turned my head. Kay’Lo was standin’ there, lookin’ at me like he was tryna read my thoughts before he said a word. He had a bottle in one hand and his own blunt in the other.

I ain’t say nothin’. He didn’t either. He just walked over, pulled out a chair, and sat down next to me like we ain’t been on bad terms. We sat there quiet for a minute, both smokin’, both drinkin’ and both thinkin’.

He finally leaned back and looked at me. “You gon’ stop actin’ like a bitch and talk to me, or we just gon’ sit here all night?”

I looked over at him and smirked. “Nigga, who you talkin’ to?”

He chuckled, then threw his arm around my shoulder. “You the only nigga out here with me, ain’t you? You been in your feelin’s, and I get it. You mad about how this shit went down, but damn, Cuz. You know I love you.”

I took another pull from the blunt, lettin’ the smoke sit before I spoke. “Love me, huh? Didn’t look like it when I walked in and seen Toni in my fuckin’ kitchen.”

He shook his head. “Man, I wasn’t tryna back door you.”

“You did,” I said, lookin’ at him dead-on. “You knew she was mine at one point.”

Kay’Lo shrugged. “Yeah, she was, but you ain’t want her.

You know you ain’t want her. I ain’t never went behind your back or tried to steal nobody from you.

We just clicked, bro. It happened. You can’t have every woman you meet.

I know you like to live in your head a lot, but the world don’t revolve around you. ”

I stared at him for a second, then laughed under my breath. “Man, fuck you.”

He grinned and clinked his bottle against mine.

“Nah, for real though. You know I would never cross you. I love the shit outta you, and I’ll never move shady about no woman.

I know you, and I know you only trippin’ ‘cause you feel like I broke some unspoken rule, but Cuz, it wasn’t like that.

Toni just real, and she hold me down in a way I didn’t expect. ”

I leaned forward and rubbed my face. “Yeah, I know. I been thinkin’ about that shit. You right. To be honest, I ain’t even mad no more, for real. It’s just… I wish you would’ve gave a nigga a heads-up.”

He nodded. “You right. I should’ve. I just ain’t know how you was gon’ take it. You been stressed, and I ain’t wanna add to it. But… I do apologize.”

We sat quiet again for a second. The music playin’ from my speaker was low, somethin’ slow with a heavy bassline. The air smelled like liquor and weed, and the silence between us wasn’t tense no more.

“I got a lot goin’ on,” I said finally. “This weddin’, and this baby.

Pluto been drivin’ me crazy. She swear she don’t like me, but she always callin’ and textin’ like she can’t go a day without hearin’ from me.

She run from everything, and I swear she could be a track star with how fast she disappear every time shit get deep. ”

Kay’Lo laughed hard, holdin’ his stomach. “Nigga, you sound stressed. She got you in a chokehold.”

“She got my fuckin’ mind twisted, that’s what she got,” I said, shakin’ my head. “I don’t even know what to do no more.”

Kay’Lo took a slow pull from his blunt, then looked over at me. “You do know what to do. You just don’t wanna hear it.”

“What’s that?”

“Fight for her,” he said simply.

I sat back and stared ahead. “Man, I been fightin’.”

He shook his head. “Nah. You been reactin’. There’s a difference. You chase her when she pull away, then get mad when she don’t fold. You gotta show her somethin’ real. She need to see you serious about her, not just about the baby.”

I didn’t say nothin’ but just let his words sit. He wasn’t wrong.

Kay’Lo looked out at the trees that surrounded the estate. “That girl love you. You took her virginity, bro. You put yo’ seed in her. If she don’t think about that shit every day, she not human. But trust me, she love you.”

I glanced at him, lettin’ his words soak in. “You think so?”

He nodded without hesitation. “I know so. You gon’ see when that baby get here. Everything gon’ change. She gon’ fall for you all over again, and you gon’ fall even harder. Watch.”

I smiled a lil’, thinkin’ about it. The image of me holdin’ my child for the first time hit me hard as hell. The idea of seein’ Pluto in that moment and seein’ our baby… it made my heart feel full.

But then that smile faded. “I just don’t wanna lose this baby, bro.”

Kay’Lo looked at me serious. “You not. God won’t put you through that again. That pain you felt before ain’t comin’ back. This time gon’ be different. Your baby gon’ make it here safe, and they gon’ be beautiful. You know us Mensah’s got some good ass genes.

I nodded slow, my throat feelin’ tight. “Appreciate you, Cuz.”

He clapped me on the shoulder. “Always. You know I got you.”

I looked at him for a second before pullin’ him into a quick hug. We wasn’t the sentimental type, but we meant that shit. At the end of the day, this was my blood, my cousin…my brother.

When we pulled apart, he picked up his drink and smiled. “See, now you back actin’ like yourself again.”

I laughed. “Man, shut up.”

He chuckled and leaned back. “Nah, for real. I’m glad we cool, ‘cause I ain’t feelin’ that tension between us. You my nigga, Pressure. Ain’t nothin’ worth us fallin’ out.”

“You right,” I said. “I got too much other shit to worry about anyway.”

We sat there, drinkin’ and talkin’, crackin’ jokes about random shit. The longer we sat, the lighter it felt. That weight that had been sittin’ on me all day started to lift.

I glanced at him after a while. “You really love her, huh?”

He smiled. “Yeah. Toni somethin’ else, bro. She got me movin’ different.”

“I can tell,” I said. “She changed your whole vibe.”

“She did,” he said. “But that’s what love do. You just don’t see it yet ‘cause you too busy fightin’ yours.”

I didn’t even argue. He was right again.

We sat quiet, both lookin’ out at the backyard. The music played low, the crickets filled the silence, and the night felt calm for once and I felt grounded, like maybe I could breathe again.

I looked over at him and said, “Aye, Lo.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, nigga.”

He laughed and held up his glass. “Love you too, fool. Now stop actin’ like a damn girl before I take it back.”

I laughed, shakin’ my head. “A’ight, whatever.”

The both of us sat there laughin’ and talkin’ ‘til the bottle was damn near gone.

This what family do. We fight hard, but we love harder, and sittin’ out here with my cousin, I realized no matter how much life threw at me, I wasn’t doin’ this shit alone.