Page 45 of Certified Pressure 2

Trill-Land, Jungle Estate

M an… these bitches was killin’ me.

I stood under the hot-ass water, my head pressed to the tile, tryna breathe through the hurt.

Pluto was right here in the shower with me, fully dressed, cryin’ and holdin’ me like that was gon’ fix somethin’.

Her arms was tight around me, her face buried in my chest, her words spillin’ out fast as the water hittin’ the floor.

“Pressure, I wasn’t using you,” she sobbed, her voice breakin’. “I love you. I never wanted your money. I just wanted you.”

Her words cut through me, but my mind was fightin’ every single one of ‘em. It wasn’t about her needin’ money ‘cause if she needed bread, all she had to do was say somethin’.

I would’ve given it to her without thinkin’.

I had been handin’ out millions since I was a teen, and if it came to Pluto or Zurie, I would empty my pockets till I ain’t have nothin’ left. That part wasn’t the issue.

What had me fucked up was the way she strung me along.

The way she let me chase her, beg her, damn near lose my pride over her, when she knew she wasn’t ready to give me what I wanted.

She let me make love to her, let me pour everything into her, whisperin’ shit in her ear, askin’ her to be mine—and the whole time she was actin’ like she ain’t know if she even wanted me, while takin’ my money in the process.

And now I finally got it. It was makin’ sense, all of it. Me payin’ for Zurie’s surgery, her lettin’ me stand by her side, her takin’ everything I gave but tellin’ me she couldn’t come with me. The excuses, the disappearances, the way she moved… that shit had me lookin’ back like a fool.

But the crazy part… I still loved her. That shit hurt worse than anything.

I ripped myself out her arms and stepped out the shower, the water runnin’ off me onto the floor. I grabbed a towel, draggin’ it rough across my skin, my chest heaving. Pluto was right behind me, her clothes soaked and her hair stickin’ to her face, but she didn’t stop.

“Pressure, please,” she cried, reachin’ for me again. “You know I love you. Please don’t walk away from me.”

I spun around, pointin’ at her with water still drippin’ off my hand.

“Nah, fuck that! You been playin’ in my muthafuckin’ face, Pluto!

That’s what this is! If you needed bread, all you had to do was say that!

I would’ve handed it to you! But nah, you let me beg, you let me chase, you let me think I wasn’t enough, when the whole time you was usin’ me! ”

Her face twisted, tears pourin’ heavy. “I told you I didn’t even want the money! I told you that, Pressure!”

I shook my head, my voice rough. “And I’m supposed to believe that? You think I ain’t see how you was movin’? You was actin’ suspicious as fuck, and now I know why. All them excuses, all them nights when I begged you to come back… it’s makin’ sense now.”

She reached for my arm again, her voice crackin’. “No, that’s not true! Please, Pressure, that’s not what it was!”

Her fingers touched my skin and somethin’ snapped in me.

I shoved her off me hard, and she fell back, hittin’ the floor with a hard thud.

The sound echoed, and for a split second, when I looked down and saw her eyes wide, her face twisted in pain, I wanted to be there for her.

For just that millisecond, I wanted to scoop her up and tell her it was gon’ be alright.

But I couldn’t. I had to think for myself for once. I had to protect my own fuckin’ feelings.

I stood over her, breathin’ hard, my fists clenchin’ at my sides. Her eyes looked up at me, glossy and desperate, her whole body shakin’ like she was scared to lose me forever. And maybe she should’ve been, ‘cause that’s exactly where I was headed.

I turned away, draggin’ on a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt, my movements sharp, but my mind clouded. I sat on the edge of my bed, rollin’ up quick, my fingers movin’ rough as I packed the Trillium into the blunt.

I stood, grabbed my keys off the dresser, and looked back at her one last time. She was still on the floor, tears streamin’, her lips partin’ like she wanted to say somethin’, but no words came out.

I walked out the room, my keys heavy in my hand, but my heart heavier in my chest.

I didn’t know where I was goin’. I didn’t know what I was about to do. All I knew was I had to get the fuck away, ‘cause if I stayed, I was gon’ drown in this shit.

While ridin’ through the city, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about all this bullshit Kash and Pluto was puttin’ a nigga through.

Smoke was pourin’ from my lips heavy as I leaned back in the driver’s seat, the city lights hittin’ the windshield.

Renza and Blaqson kept blowin’ up my phone, but I wasn’t answerin’.

I ain’t have shit to say. What could I even tell them?

That I had two women I actually cared about goin’ to war over me, and somehow, I was losin’ both at the same time?

That I was sittin’ here questionin’ everything I thought I knew about love, loyalty, and who the fuck I could trust?

I took another long pull, my chest heaving when the smoke hit, and shook my head.

The whole time Kash and Pluto was in my face, actin’ like they barely knew each other, but I should’ve known somethin’ was off.

I should’ve peeped it that very first night when I caught them outside laughin’ by the pool.

They said they just grew up in the same neighborhood, and ran into each other at the airport.

A nigga like me should’ve known it was a bunch of bullshit, but I wanted to believe them.

Maybe I didn’t wanna face that two of the women I was lettin’ into my space, into my world, into my heart, was playin’ me on the low.

But shit… at this point, it was too late for all of us to even think about that shit.

Now that feelings was involved, how the fuck could I focus on that part of the situation?

I shook my head again, laughin’ bitter to myself as I hit another turn.

I didn’t even know if I should keep either one of them.

Maybe I needed to just fall back and be single, and focus on myself.

But no matter how many times I tried to tell myself that, I couldn’t shake the feelings I had.

Kash had been down, no question, but trust with her was shaky.

Pluto… I loved her, that shit was real, but I couldn’t get over the thought of her usin’ me, and playin’ with me like a lame ass nigga.

I ain’t know where else to go, so I turned toward the one place I knew I would find clarity and that was my parents’ crib.

It was late, but I ain’t give a fuck. If I needed them, I knew they’d be there.

I pulled up to the massive gates, punched in the code, and watched ‘em slide open smooth. The drive up to the mansion was long, the lights lined up on both sides glowin’ like I was enterin’ another world.

By the time I parked, I was already tryna air myself out.

I grabbed a bottle of cologne from the console, sprayed myself down so the weed smell wasn’t loud, then stepped out.

I walked up to the front door and pulled my phone out, hittin’ my mama’s number.

“Hello?” Her voice was calm and rich, like always.

“I’m at the door,” I said, my voice low.

There was a pause, then a soft sigh. “Alright, baby. Give me a second.”

A few minutes later, the door opened, and there she was.

Abeni Mensah… My mama… She was in a silk robe with a wrap on her head, and a glass of wine in her hand.

Even like this, late at night, she looked untouchable.

She gave me a look I couldn’t describe, her eyes searchin’ my face, then stepped aside.

“Come in,” she said softly.

I walked in, the familiar scent of expensive oils and polish hittin’ me as soon as I crossed the threshold. My mama closed the door, her glass of wine still in her hand, and asked, “Everything okay, son?”

I didn’t answer right away, but just followed her down the hall to the livin’ room.

When we got there, my pops was sittin’ in his chair, a record player hummin’ old school music low in the background.

He had a glass of dark liquor in his hand, his legs crossed, lookin’ like the king he was.

My mama sat next to him, settin’ her glass down, and I swear it looked like they had been vibin’, just the two of them, laughin’ and enjoyin’ each other’s company.

For a moment, it was refreshin’. Seein’ them love on each other, and how even after all these years, they was still a unit. And deep down, I knew I wanted that for myself.

I dropped down on the sofa across from them, my elbows on my knees, runnin’ my hand across my face. “I don’t even know where to start.”

My pops leaned forward, his eyes sharp on me. “Start from the beginning, son. What happened?”

I exhaled, long and heavy, then spilled it all.

I told them about Pluto comin’ back to the mansion out the blue.

How I had just let Ka’mari go, how Kash and Pluto’s friendship had been a secret they kept from me, how I paid for Zurie’s surgery, how Kash read off that message makin’ it sound like Pluto only wanted me for the money.

I told them how conflicted I felt, how Kash had been ridin’ for me but I still didn’t know if I could trust her, and how even though I loved Pluto, I couldn’t shake the thought that, she was after what I had, not who I was.

When I finished, the room went quiet. The music played on low, but none of us moved for a while. My mama finally broke the silence.