Page 35 of Certified Pressure 2

And then there was Lola. I really had a whole damn transgender in my crib and I don’t wanna hear shit about no TRANSPHOBIC shit.

That one still threw me sometimes, not ‘cause I judged her, but ‘causeI let myself get blindsided.

Lola had personality, no doubt. Before I knew she had dick and balls under those dresses and thought she was all woman, I thought she was bold, and witty.

She could shut a room down, and she brought her own kind of energy to the mansion.

But it also made me sit back and wonder what the fuck I had turned my life into.

Cameras might not have been here, but the shit felt like a twisted reality show sometimes.

Zaniyah flashed through my head too. Sweet lil’ thing with dimples deep enough to drown in.

Funny, always crackin’ jokes, never took herself too serious.

She had a way of lightenin’ up the room, makin’ even the craziest arguments between the other women feel less heavy.

I used to catch myself smilin’ when she talked.

She was one of the ones I caught myself missin’ sometimes.

I rubbed my face and leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. This shit had been an emotional roller coaster, no doubt about it. I told myself I was built for it, I could handle the chaos, but the truth was, every woman that walked out left some piece of weight behind for me to carry.

Then my mind slid back to Kashmere. Her people was beautiful on the outside, luxury drippin’ off them in every direction, but inside?

They wore dysfunctional all over. Her mama was bold enough to sit across from me and say her daughter wasn’t good enough.

I peeped that for what it was though. A mama that don’t believe in her child cuts deep, and now I saw why Kashmere moved the way she moved.

A lot of her wild-ass behavior, the way she has been needin’ validation lately, it wasn’t even her fault.

That shit started at home. And I couldn’t even fully blame her for it no more.

Then let’s be real… her mama was an undercover hoe.

Ka’mari was a whole different problem. I leaned back and blew out a breath, thinkin’ about her.

I knew in my heart it was time to let her go.

I ain’t even want to admit it at first, but the truth was right here in my face.

The first sign was that my body couldn’t even respond to her anymore.

That night in the hotel proved it. My dick wouldn’t even get hard for her, and I could try to act like it was stress or too much liquor, but deep down I knew the truth.

That chapter was closin’. The only reason I was still holdin’ on to her was because of what we lost. Seven months pregnant, and the baby gone just like that.

That grief tied us together in ways nothin’ else could.

The truth was… me holdin’ on to her, meant holdin’ on to my son.

But grief wasn’t no foundation for a future.

And even if I wanted to try again, what was I really signing up for?

A lifetime of sittin’ across from her disrespectful-ass daddy, listenin’ to this nigga remind me how I wasn’t Donovan?

I couldn’t stomach that. I would fight the world for a woman I loved, but I wasn’t about to fight her daddy every day just to prove myself. That shit was dead.

The longer I sat there, the more tired I felt. Not tired like I needed sleep, but tired in my soul. Tired of the games, the arguments, the tears, the constant proving. I wanted peace. I wanted somethin’ that made sense.

Then, my phone buzzed on the small table beside me. I ignored it at first and kept starin’ out at the jungle lights glowin’ under the moon, but it kept vibrating, pullin’ me out of my thoughts. Finally, I reached for it, and when I saw the name across the screen, my chest locked up.

It was Pluto…

I hadn’t heard from her in two weeks. My thumb hovered for a second, then I answered. “Hey,” she said, her voice soft.

“Hey,” I said back, my tone lower than usual.

In that moment, all the noise in my head quieted. I couldn’t even explain it. Hearin’ her voice after all this time felt like air hittin’ lungs after bein’ held underwater too long. My chest felt different, heavy but full at the same time.

She hesitated, then said, “Zurie has to have surgery in the morning… and I would like for you to be there.”

I froze, the words sinkin’ in. For a second, I ain’t even know what to say. My heart was beatin’ hard as fuck against my ribs. Finally, I said, “I’m on my way.”

There was silence on her end. Then I heard her sniff, quiet at first, then another, like she was cryin’. “Thank you,” she whispered.

We hung up, and I sat there with the phone in my hand, starin’ at the screen like it could tell me what the fuck I was supposed to do next.

But my heart knew already…

I went back inside, straight to my room. I showered quick, threw on fresh clothes, and packed a bag. My movements was fast but clear, like my body knew this was the only decision I could make.

When I was done, I called Renza. He picked up on the second ring. “What’s up, cuz?”

“I’m ‘bout to leave,” I told him. “Let Ka’mari and Kashmere know I’ll be back.”

“Why you can’t tell them yourself, nigga?” Renza asked.

“Because I don’t wanna deal with them right now. I done been through enough shit with they people already.”

He paused, then said, “Say less. I’ll handle it.”

I hung up, called for a driver, and within the hour I was in the backseat, watchin’ the estate lights fade behind me. My jet was waitin’, and so was Pluto. My chest felt tighter, but for the first time in a long time, it wasn’t from stress.

My heart felt full.