Page 20 of Certified Pressure 2

I looked at her, then looked away quick. My pride was loud, my heart was louder, but I wasn’t ready to fold. I leaned forward just enough to give her what she asked for but I ain’t let my eyes meet hers. I couldn’t. I was too hurt, too stubborn.

Then she reached up, tugged my beard with one hand while the other cupped the side of my face.

She pulled me in and kissed me so gentle it damn near broke me in half.

I felt my eyes close against my will, then felt myself lean into her soft lips even though I swore I wasn’t gon’ give her the satisfaction.

It was like my body betrayed me, choosin’ her even when my mind was screamin’ at me to let go.

When she pulled back, she whispered, “You got my address, so you got my number. If you ever wanna call me, don’t hesitate.”

I didn’t say shit. My throat was tight, my pride too loud, so I just stared past her, my hand slidin’ back on the wheel.

She looked at me for another second, then sighed, grabbed her keys, and slipped out. I watched her walk across the lot, her head held high even with her shoulders weighed down, and it cut me deeper than if she had turned around and cursed me out.

When the door closed and she disappeared up them busted-ass steps, I put the car in drive and peeled off. I didn’t look back.

By the time I made it to the private airfield on the edge of the city, the sun was just startin’ to climb, castin’ long shadows across the runway.

My jet was already waitin’ under the early light.

I pulled up to the spot where they had somebody ready to take the rental back, slid the worker a thick tip, and grabbed my duffel.

Walkin’ toward the jet, my heart felt heavy as fuck. I told myself I was gon’ get back strong, get her out my system, and move on. I loved Pluto, but she was killin’ me, and I couldn’t let another woman drag me through the mud like Ka’mari did. I wasn’t built to be weak.

I climbed the steps, stepped inside the cabin, and dropped down into the leather seat.

The flight attendant greeted me, but I waved her off.

I wasn’t in the mood for shit. As soon as we lifted off, I rolled another blunt, sparked it, and pulled in smoke until my chest burned and the world blurred.

I smoked until I couldn’t see straight, until my anger and my hurt tangled together so bad I couldn’t tell one from the other.

I told myself I was still gon’ send Pluto that money.

I gave her my word, and unlike most niggas, my word meant somethin’.

I was gon’ make sure Zurie got that surgery, no matter how stubborn Pluto was fuckin’ bein’.

But after that, I was done. I had to be.

I couldn’t keep lettin’ her pull me out my lane.

I couldn’t keep lettin’ her calm make me weak while my heart was out here losin’ itself.

The smoke swirled thick around me as the jet cut through the clouds, and I leaned back in my seat, eyes half-closed. I was hurt, I was pissed, I was in love, and I was losin’ my damn mind. And the craziest part was—I still didn’t know if I had it in me to let her go.

Trill-Land, Jungle Estate

When my jet finally landed, I stepped off that bitch with Pluto still sittin’ heavy on me.

Her scent was all over my shirt, her marks on my neck stingin’ like she was tryna suck the blood out a nigga last night, and her face was stamped behind my eyelids no matter how much I tried to shake it.

I walked down the stairs slow, tryin’ not to think about her but endin’ up right back at the way she kissed me, and the way she held me like I was the only nigga she ever loved.

The driver already had the SUV waitin’ and the back door open.

I slid in and dropped back against the seat, not sayin’ a word.

The city ain’t even register outside the window.

All I could see was her, and how she had me fucked up.

I pulled out my phone and stared at her name lit up on my screen.

Pluto with a crown next to her name, saved just like that.

My thumb kept hoverin’ like I wanted to text, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I was supposed to be done with her ass.

I typed and erased.

You trippin’. Deleted.

I miss you. Deleted.

Why you fuckin’ playin’ with me? Deleted.

I tossed the phone on the seat and dragged my hand down my face.

I knew I had to leave her alone. She told me what it was with that calm little voice of hers.

That was her way of lettin’ me know she couldn’t rock with me the way I wanted.

And if that’s what she was showin’, then why the fuck would I keep knockin’ at her door?

Why would I keep lettin’ myself chase behind her when that shit only leave me twisted?

It was her indecisive ass that had me sittin’ in two worlds.

One second she was in my arms cryin’, tellin’ me she love me, the next she pullin’ back talkin’ about how it ain’t that simple.

I asked her to marry me last night, and I meant that shit, but she clearly wasn’t goin’.

She was the reason I ain’t kicked the rest of the women out yet.

Every time I thought about makin’ a move, my mind went straight back to the bullshit she was on, and I stopped myself.

I had been so caught up runnin’ behind Pluto that I ain’t even gave the other girls my time.

Toni had been showin’ me she had layers.

Kashmere—yeah, she was reckless, but she was fun as hell, and no matter what we was goin’ through, she stayed glued to me.

It was just somethin’ about that fire and passion she had for me that told me she was down for me.

I let them meet my parents, but I realized that I haven’t even took the time to meet their people.

I was slippin’ and movin’ like a man that forgot he had options.

The ride felt long, but before I knew it, the SUV turned through my gates and the big-ass mansion was sittin’ in front of me again.

I told the driver hold up and stayed in the backseat with my phone and my thoughts.

I cracked the window, rolled up a fat blunt right on a magazine, and sparked it.

The smoke filled up the truck quick, and I just sat there blowin’ it slow, starin’ at my own house like it was lookin’ back at me.

This was supposed to be my throne. My kingdom.

And here I was lettin’ one woman pull me out my role.

That shit wasn’t me. I dragged again, held it, then let it go.

I told myself when I walk in that door, it’s back to business.

Pluto had her chance to ride, but she wanna play like she can’t see me for what I am. Cool. That was on her.

I sat there a few more minutes, finishin’ the blunt, then I finally opened the door and stepped out. My chains hit my chest heavy. Guards opened the front doors, and I walked in, the cool air hittin’ my skin. Soon as I stepped in, I saw Kashmere.

She was sittin’ in the livin’ room like she been waitin’ all mornin’. Her legs was crossed, hair pulled up and the look in her eyes sharp. The second she saw me she stood, and the way she moved told me whatever she was holdin’ wasn’t light.

I slowed, slid my hands into my pockets, and looked at her. “Wus’ good?”

Her lips pressed together, then she walked closer until we was damn near face to face. “I need to talk to you.”

“Talk then.”

She looked me dead in my eyes, not flinchin’, not laughin’, or actin’ silly like she normally do. Her voice came out calm, flat, but heavy.

“I missed my period.”

The words sat between us like a gun on the table.

I ain’t move. I just stared at her, lettin’ it sink in while my mind flipped through everything.

The hot tub. Her hands on me. That laugh.

Her lips on mine. Me lettin’ it slide when I knew better.

Me gettin’ so caught up that I nutted in her with no hesitation.

Pluto askin’ me last night if I was with anybody else and me swearin’ I wasn’t.

All of it collided in one second, and I felt that heat rise under my skin.

“How late?” I asked finally.

“Five days.”

“You took a test?”

She shook her head. “How would I get a test, Pressure?”

“So what you sayin’? You might be pregnant?”

I can’t say for sure, but I know my body.”

I rubbed my beard, lettin’ my eyes drop to the floor for a second before bringin’ them back up to her. Her eyes were wide like she wasn’t backin’ down.

The shit had my mind so blown, the shit killed my high. Even though I knew my role in this, I wasn’t expectin’ to hear this when I walked through the door. I had just asked Pluto to be my wife last night while makin’ love to her, and now Kashmere was standin’ here tellin’ me she was pregnant.

Fuck…

“A’ight,” I said, my voice low. “We gon’ get one today.”

She nodded, swallowin’ like her throat was dry. “Okay.”

For a second neither of us said shit. The mansion felt too damn quiet, like even the air was listenin’. My chest was hot, my mind was twisted, but I kept my face unreadable.

Inside, though? I was going through it…