Page 64 of Carver

And in the time that he'd been with the Angels, he'd learned that that was sometimes the thing people got off on. But it wasn't the only way.

Fury had given him reading material about sex, intimacy, and kink. He'd allowed Gideon to work through them at his own pace so that he could ask questions whenever they had sessions. Fury had explained it all to him patiently, not once laughing at a question or saying he was wrong to think such a way.

It allowed Gideon to process the trauma he'd experienced in a safe environment. It allowed him to truly think about what he wanted with Carver.

Because as much as his body seemed to feel the need for the other man, his mind struggled. He didn't want to be hurt, nor did he want to hurt Carver. He had a feeling the other man would be what he’d learned was a top. He would have the control, and Gideon would be the bottom taking whatever he was given.

The papers that Fury had given him to read explained that a power exchange was something two people had to consent to. That there had to be discussions of limits, and even within a dynamic, things could shift or change at any time. He'd also learned about safe words and the use of them.

All of this was to help him with Carver. Whether the other man was kinky or not, they were pieces he had to implement to keep himself safe and sane.

As Gideon made his way to Fury's office, he received a few waves and head nods in his direction. The men had become accustomed to him and his time at the club. The women, though they still made him quite nervous, had also become used to his presence. They would move out of his way and leave a room if he was there, but they didn't pretend he didn't exist. They weren't mean or hateful.

None had approached him directly. Food was delivered by one of the other men, and any chores that needed to be donewere handled either by Gideon himself or with one of the other Angels close to him.

Gideon hoped to one day be able to move past it. He wanted to understand these women with their kind eyes and sweet laughs. He could hear them when he was in a different room or walking down the hall. They always seemed so happy.

The few times he heard yelling, it was quickly followed by the sound of squeals and slaps. He was later told this was the men teasing the women with playful spankings. They’d pull them into their laps and squeeze their body parts in a sexual manner.

Gideon understood it in theory, though the actual act eluded him. The first time he'd seen it, he'd blanched and thrown up his lunch.

Fury had pulled him aside then and explained that the couple he had watched weren’t fucking. It was just foreplay. He mentioned telling them to stop, to which Gideon had grabbed his wrist and said, "No, let them be. This is my problem."

Five months, Gideon thought to himself. Five months that he'd been there. Three and a half since he'd last been close to Carver. The other man had kneeled at his feet telling him he would wait. He said he had the patience to withstand Gideon's need for time.

Did Gideon have the patience? Was he going to be able to keep fighting this pull he felt towards Carver?

The medicines that Fury had put him on were tricky. A couple of them were an immediate no with the headaches they created and the nausea that came with them.

But two in particular had created this magical cocktail. It didn't heal him by any means, but it helped him navigate life better. It took away the constant need to watch his own back and the darkness that sometimes lurked over his shoulders.

He still had bad days, just not as many. And they were fairly far apart.

He knocked on Fury's door, then pushed it open when the other man called out for him to come in.

Fury smiled from his chair and put aside the book he'd been reading. “Come on in, Gideon. Have a seat. I'm excited about today's session.”

Gideon raised his brow, then stepped through the door. He closed it behind him and sat down the same way he had every day for five months.

Originally, Fury had said that they would do once or twice weekly sessions, but after that first meeting when Gideon showed back up at his door needing to talk, Fury just decided they would do something daily, whether it was a few minutes of sitting in silence together or talking for hours on end.

Fury was there to help.

While Gideon sometimes felt like he was being a burden, Fury had assured him that there was nothing else he'd rather be doing.

“What are you happy about today?” Gideon asked when Fury didn't move to speak.

Fury crossed his legs and laid his hands on his knees. “Because someone is here to see you. Carver suggested to them that you might benefit from seeing them in person and having a talk. I'm here to be the facilitator of sorts.”

Gideon's back straightened. “Who?” he breathed.

He couldn't imagine who Carver would send. Fury being excited about it was concerning as well because it meant Gideon would be uncomfortable. Fury loved to test him. It wasn't mean or anything. It was just very clear that he liked to see Gideon grow.

There was a knock at the door and Gideon's eyes widened.

“If you don't want them to come in, I won't let them. Say the word and this ends,” Fury said in a serious voice.

Though Gideon still felt unsure, he nodded. “Let them in.”