Page 56 of Carver

It only made him like the Angels more. Fury was being kind when he didn't have to be. Sure, Carver might have gotten upset with him if he found out, but with it being just the two of them, he could have taken full advantage. Fury didn't.

Instead, he explained why he was asking the questions and then reiterated what types of medicines he thought Gideon would benefit from. After being told that Fury would go pick up said prescriptions from the local pharmacy since it wasn't a good idea for Gideon to leave the club, he was told their session was over.

He stumbled down the hall towards the main room. His mind fired a million miles an hour about what came next. He wanted to go find Carver right away and explain everything, but at the same time, his voice had worn out on him.

He was tired, and he was slightly hungry, and more than anything he wanted to go curl up in bed. He went through the main room paying no mind to anyone. They didn't stop him or reach out and touch him. They merely moved out of the way until he got to Carver's door. It was cracked open so he could see inside that no one was there. He decided to do as Fury suggested. He rushed over to the bed, grabbed one of Carver'spillows, and then went to the empty room beside it. He gave one last glance at the cage he'd been living in and shook his head. He had to let it go at some point, and though sleeping with Carver had been the thing to help him, he knew he had to learn how to do it on his own as well.

Gideon didn't want to be stuck in his old life. Didn't want to keep going through the motions.

So with the pillow that smelled like Carver in hand and a big open bed to lay in, he crawled until he was flat and tucked around the pillow. He took a deep inhale, closed his eyes, and sunk into dreams of a future he hoped would come true.

Twenty-Six

Carver wasfive minutes away from losing his shit on everyone.

He was more exhausted than he could ever remember. Not even the long missions where he only got to steal a few minutes of rest at a time left him like this.

The patience he had found when Gideon came into his life had disappeared the moment his sweet boy decided to move out of his room.

Carver had been off handling club business when it happened. He knew Fury would take care of Gideon during their session, which gave him time to catch up on other things. He never once suspected that he would come back to find his boy had moved back into the other room.

The only comfort he had in the entire situation was that Gideon had stolen one of his pillows. He liked knowing that he was being used as a comfort in some way.

It made him think that things would really be okay in the end. Carver couldn't quite understand what all had changed in such a short amount of time.

Yes, his boy had experienced desire, and yes, Carver had told him he couldn't explore said desire without first letting themknow about his past. It was meant to be a way to avoid triggering anything bad for Gideon.

But to avoid Carver damn near completely was not the result he wanted or enjoyed.

In the weeks since that first meeting with Fury, Gideon had stepped away from being Carver's shadow. He was still called little boss, and you could see him around the club with Hex, Slash, or Fury. Occasionally, he would speak to one of them or write something down, but often, he was a silent observer at their side.

Carver noted that the women kept a wide berth around him, often choosing to leave the room when he walked in as a precaution. At least he thought it was a precaution. Maybe it was because Fury had expressed to them that it was better for Gideon if they weren’t around.

The one time Carver had stopped Fury to ask what was going on and for an explanation, Fury had told him to go fuck himself as eloquently as possible.“Because there's such a thing as patient-doctor confidentiality. I don't care if you're club president, you're not getting a word out of me,”Fury had told him. He wasn't angry, just firm.

Carver appreciated it. He didn't want anyone to be able to get secrets out of Fury. At the same time, he wanted to know more about his boy's condition, wanted to know how long it was going to take for the two of them to be able to be around each other again.

Was there anything Carver could do to help the process along?

In short, he was miserable.

He couldn't sleep well for worrying about Gideon. Food was bland, and his dreams were filled with longing for something he couldn't quite have.

He could see it. He could touch it. But he couldn't taste it. He couldn't experience it as a whole. His mind crafted visions of a future where he and Gideon worked together romantically. Their relationship was healthy and happy. None of the past stained them.

It wasn't that the past never happened, but it was merely memories stuffed away instead of this cloud hovering over them.

Carver came to at the sound of metal on metal. He turned his head to see the garage, busy as ever. For a moment, he’d forgotten he was off to the side working on his own bike. The damn thing was giving him trouble for no good reason.

He needed to get some parts ordered for it. He preferred to do the maintenance himself so that it never got too bad. With Gideon’s arrival, he’d let some stuff slip. He noticed it when he had started taking solo rides again, going down back roads and on long highways for hours at a time to clear his head.

Out there on the road with the open breeze billowing against him was the only place he found solace from wanting Gideon. Though there were still times his boy followed him there. He could picture him riding on the back of his bike, his slender arms wrapped around Carver holding on tightly as he took a tight turn. He could hear laughter muffled by the wind but still as clear as ever.

It was all in his imagination. Carver knew it. It didn't stop him from wanting it desperately.

"You look like shit," Slash said as he dropped onto the stool beside Carver.

"Well thanks. So glad to know I passed muster," Carver grunted in reply.