Page 12

Age 16

I haven’t had an episode like this since Granddad passed. It’s been three weeks, and I’ve only gotten out of bed to piss. I don’t have the energy for anything else. I can’t do anything else. Don’t wanna do anything else.

Except maybe kill Tati’s pops.

But as fucked up as he is, she loves him. He only wants what’s best for her. And for all intents and purposes, he’s right.

I am a hoodlum, me and Nut. And he did work hard to give her a good life, just for her to be around the very people he left behind.

I could say he started the domino effect that led me here, but it was all me. Typical Rahshad, who just has to take it too far. Who can’t help himself.

I had no business airing out that party. We weren’t even there for my shit, but Nut hates being alone, and he’d heard Tati was there, so we went.

I didn’t know I’d see Wynter.

The twins and Turk don’t fuck with her at all after Foe Dub took over the BBs, so I hadn’t seen her in awhile. I almost didn’t recognize her, since she dyed her hair brown and covered her freckles with makeup. She was clutching a solo cup like it’s her lifeline, and squeezed it harder when the nigga in front of her leaned in to whisper something to her.

“Who that?”

Rico said to me.

I turned toward him. “Nobody.”

He cocked his head to the side, letting his plaits cover his eyes without blinking. But before he could reply, Nutty and Tati rushed past us, her near tears, him scowling. We followed them out the house onto the lawn.

“I don’t know why you crying, Tati. I ain’t even do shit yet.”

She whirled around on him and stepped into his personal space. She’s the only woman he lets get that close.

“I’m not yours, Patrick.”

He grabbed the end of her high ponytail and tilted her head back.

“You’ve been mine since I was fifteen.”

Her eyes softened momentarily, before she scowled at him.

“I’m going back inside. You need to leave.”

He grinned at her before releasing her ponytail.

“Ain’t no party for you to go back to, Tati.”

He turned and walked back into the house, and I followed him while Rico stayed with her.

“We shutting it down?”

I asked in the foyer. My eyes locked with Wyn’s as the nigga was literally dragging her down a hall.

Nut didn’t answer. He just grinned and took out his piece, so I took mine out too, and aimed it at the back of the nigga’s head.

Wyn’s eyes ballooned as she yanked from his grip. He looked at her, before eyeing me, and promptly let her go to duck out the way.

Only then did I lift my shit all the way and start blasting with Nut.

We were gone before the police were called. And no matter how Wyn is, she wouldn’t tell on me, or at least I used to not think so.

But how else did Chief Freeman know I was there? That nigga had the Hudsonville PD get me from school, doing the walk of shame cuffed and all. Interrogated me in a room for hours about the shooting, tryna give me statistics on how many times I’d be someone’s bitch in prison, and how this could go away if I give up Nut, or leave Tati alone.

By the time he dropped me off at my crib, the sun was down, and I knew a whole other war was waiting for me, since I couldn’t get Raya from daycare.

I didn’t expect my OG to wild out like that.

We hadn’t been getting along, sure, but the shit she said… the shit she called me…

I guess he called her, because she went ballistic as soon as I opened the front door. She destroyed my computer station. Told me if I wanted to be a gang member so bad, she wouldn’t stop me.

Told me my granddad would hate what I became.

Nana begged for me to stay. My OG wasn’t having it. Said it was her money paying the bills, and if she didn’t like it, she could go too.

It wasn’t even her money. It was her nigga’s money. The same nigga that could give a fuck about Raya.

He stood behind my OG, smug grin on his face, his piece loose at his hip, ready for me to step out of line. The nigga hated me from day one, and to this day I don’t know why.

I guess it don’t matter now.

Set had already been around, so he got me and brought me back to my Pop’s new crib. And that’s where I’ve been.

I wish I could have went to his and Nut’s new crib, but then last week, after I got a ping on my name and saw my OG signed away her parental rights, I heard a whole bunch of noise, and now I can hear Nutty cackling down the hallway on the phone, and them yelling when they play the game.

Maybe killing Tati’s pops would make me feel better. But it won’t make my mama want me again.

My door bursts open, keeping me from traveling down a dark hole. Set enters my periphery to open my curtains, making me flinch under the covers.

Then my covers are snatched all the way off me. I sit up and it’s Nut, scowling at me.

“Get up, bitch. It’s drill time.”

“Bro–”

“Nah,”

Set says.

“You heard that nigga. You don’t get cut no slack Baby Set. Nigga said it’s drill time, so it’s drill time.”

“Be outside in fifteen or I’m sleeping you, Dub. I’m not gone pull no punches.”

Nut and Set leave the room, slamming the door behind them.

I sigh and rub my face. It’s drill time, I guess.

I take a quick shower and put on all black; boxers, joggers, tee, and hoodie. I slide on some black huaraches and take my locs out of the bun they’d been in, letting them hang free on my shoulders, and open the window before I go to meet them niggas outside.

Set smirks as I walk up to them.

“There’s my baby bro.”

He squeezes my shoulder before I climb into the back of Nut’s DeVille.

“Why you got this car out?”

Nut glances at me through the rearview.

“Tati back talking to me, so I’m meeting her on the Ave. It’s First Sunday, nigga, so all the cars out, and you know she like the hydraulics and shit. Y’all gone meet up with Reem and Sean there.”

“We’ll talk more once we get there,”

Set says. We been stopped discussing business in any of Nut’s cars. I haven’t been able to check for bugs, and Chief Freeman will let the devil fuck him in the ass if it meant Tati would leave Nut alone.

Technically, they’re not even dating.

Don’t tell Nut that, though.

“Pops got you checked into Grant, so you can be with Sean at least. School picks back up tomorrow.”

“I know–”

“Do you? Yo ass been sulking like a fucking baby all winter break, nigga. Fuck Candy and her nigga; they can’t keep you from Raya.”

Nut scowls and presses the gas.

“We moved back home so you ain’t gotta just be up under T and Pops. It’s just two more years until you go to college anyway.”

I look out the window and sigh. “What if–”

“Yo ass going to college, . Ion even wanna hear that shit.”

Set turns around and glares at me.

“You and Sean and even that punk nigga Sincere can do yo music shit on the side, but you getting that computer science degree, too, Dub. Even if I gotta whoop yo ass every day to get you to class.”

“Yeah, Dub. You need to get a fucking degree. Me, Fredo, and Turk start up our shit this week, too. Rico’s doing his shit in the Marines. And even Ty doing his electrician school shit.”

It was the same song and dance with them. Set and Nutty preach about us making moves, so we not doing Tiny and Bishop’s bidding forever. They really try to keep me out of everything, and it was easier because I was only around on the weekends. Now that I’m here full-time, I don’t know what’s gonna happen, and I know that’s really why they both moved back home.

“Yeah, what about you, Set? You going to college?”

He smirks at me before turning around to face forward.

“School not for me, Dub. Besides, between G-Pops and our new club, Ima be put up soon. Might fuck around and write a book or some shit.”

The conversation’s over once we pull onto the Ave and park on the street in front of the Soul Food Spot. Before I can even get out the car all the way, Tati barrels into me.

“Oh, Rahshad! I cursed my daddy out something fierce! And as soon as I graduate law school, I’ll move back and Patrick will get me an apartment and you can stay over as much as you want.”

She looks up at me like she’s the one who ruined my life, and I know I can’t end her Pops. I can’t bring any sadness to her life.

“Oh, so you just know Ima say yes to getting you and a crib?”

Nut grunts, rounding the car.

Tati lets go of me to bring Nut into another one of her soothing hugs.

“I missed you so much, Patrick. I don’t like fighting with you… my winter break’s up and we haven’t hung out at all. You’re still taking me to the airport in the morning right?”

He morphs into the soft ass nigga he is with her and circles his arms around her, too.

“C’mon now, girl. You know I can’t be skinning and grinning like this on the Ave. Bad enough you got on these jeans. I know yo ass can’t breathe.”

Set knocks his hand into my chest and we start walking toward the other side of the street.

“We’ll get up witchu later,”

he calls out to Nut.

“Stay dangerous niggas.”

Nut throws up the Birch before throwing his arm around Tati’s neck and disappearing into the crowd.

“So what’s the deal?”

I ask Set as we start walking toward one of their traps.

“Regular Sunday afternoon. Gotta teach some muthafuckas a lesson. Ricky Joyner been talking hella shit, and we’ve been asked to permanently shut him up. You been a little sad, so I figured you can do the honors, earn your blue rose and all that.”

My neck jerks and I stop walking.

“What made you change your mind?”

Set has been adamant about me not having any blood on my hands. Sean caught his first body when he was thirteen, two years ago. Everyone else, even Reem, have earned their tattoos. All except me. I still get the same respect. I’m still Foe Dub, but I don’t have my rose, and Set, nor anyone else, was budging on it.

He turns around and shrugs.

“You here full time now. You finna be going to Grant, finna be at the Birch all the time, you need to get acclimated, and Ima be the one to do it, not T, and not Pops.”

He walks back to me and his stormy eyes harden even more.

“Anyone asks you to do anything you come to me first, aight? I don’t care if you already in the car, you stop, drop, and roll out that muthafucka and call me. I already told these muthafuckas I’m the only one that can sanction you to do some shit, and I mean it, .”

I nod and swallow the spit accumulating in my mouth.

“I got you.”

We continue walking to the trap, where Reem and Sean are posted up on Reem’s car.

Sean looks up and grins, braces gleaming in the sunlight.

“On Foe if I ain’t see you today I was pulling up at T’s my fuckin’ self.”

He meets me before I get to him and daps me up.

“You good?”

he whispers.

I nod when we pull away from each other, but I know he doesn’t believe me.

“C’mon niggas.”

We all hop in Reem’s car, and he drives to a strip mall off Proctor Boulevard where the hoes be–actual prostitutes. We hop out and into another car, prolly some shit Ty lifted specifically for this.

It’s Reem and Set in the front, me and Sean in the back. We taking the streets deeper into South Kenton, going east. Reem’s driving, since Set’s a speed demon, and we’re less likely to be stopped.

“Nut said he left you a present behind my seat,”

Set mutters as he sparks a blunt. I reach down and grab a sawed-off shotty and grin.

“You sure you can handle that?”

Sean asks.

I chuckle. Nigga was just telling me at G-Pops’ cabin last month I’m a beast with a rifle. I know he lowkey wishes he was here.

“I got this.”

“Good, ‘cause you get one chance. His people having a cookout, so it’s gone be kids and shit out front with him. But Nut swears you the nigga for this, so prove that nigga right.”

“What he’s tryna say is, we believe in you ,”

Reem grumbles as he turns right into Seven Deuce territory. Ricky Joyner, hood name Bloodbath, is a high ranking member of the Seven Deuce Bloods, and they’ve been trying to break into the drug game for years, except they don’t wanna get their product from us, and everyone knows our shit is the best shit in Kenton. Tre Young from Northupton fucks with us and only us out of Kenton, and they not fucking with answering to a woman; everyone knows that.

I guess Tiny got tired of hearing about it and decided to have Set do something about it.

I check the shotty to make sure it’s loaded, but of course Nut thinks of everything. My window rolls down, and we turn onto another neighborhood street.

“Aight, . I’m not finna creep. You know how this nigga looks. Ima drive by regular, you just gotta do it.”

“Aight.”

Reem nods and turns onto another street as we all put on our ski masks. I know which house is Joyner’s immediately, because it’s the one with the most people standing outside.

Niggas, bitches, and even lil bloods in the making all in their red, dancing to the music, enjoying a hot winter day in Sunny South Kenton.

I spot Ricky instantly. Red tee, tan dickie shorts. Hush puppies. Nigga is Tiny’s age just now tryna play kingpin.

I take a deep breath and allow all the rage I hold in to flow freely. All the adrenaline slows time down, so even though Reem is going the speed limit, it feels like he’s cruising.

I don’t pull the shotty out until the second to the last second. Not until Ricky and I lock eyes, and his boisterous laugh dies on his lips.

Then I aim. And close one eye. And brace myself for the kickback.

And fire.

Reem skirts off then. Sean’s yelling in the back of me, and when I pull the shotty inside the car, he grabs my shoulders like I won the lottery.

“Did y’all see that shit?! Did y’all see that shit! Nigga whole face is shot off! What the fuck, Dub!”

We get out of their territory fast as fuck, and take the whip to the chop shop some old heads own close to the Ave. We take the back way to the Birch, where we all shower and change, and then head back.

Set pulls me by my shirt into our tattoo shop, where Sketch is drawing at his station.

“ needs a blue rose, you free?”

Sketch looks up from his phone and grins at me before getting up to set up for it.

“Baby Set done earned his stripes.”

“Nah, that’s dy with the Shotty, fasho,”

Sean cheeses, and daps me up.

“Where you gone get it?” Set asks.

Everyone has theirs in different places. Set’s is on his hand. Turk has a sleeve of them. Nutty has some on his upper back.

I never knew where I wanted to get mine, since my OG was so against tattoos.

But that was before, when she wanted me.

Before she signed away her rights.

I hold Set’s stare. “My neck.”

His lips spread into a smile.

“Fasho, Shotty.”