Page 79 of Brighter Shades of Light

“Come on, Mr. Miller. You can’t lie here all day.”

I used a tissue to clean up his mess. He peered back at me, and I met his smile with one of my own. His pants and boxers were at his feet. I pulled them up for him. As I stood, he grabbed my face and kissed me.

My arm went around him as I returned the kiss. His lips trembled against mine.

“I love you,” he said, the emotion reflecting in his eyes. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen with us a month from now. Or even two or five months. But I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

“I’ll always want you.” I held him tighter. “Love is difficult for me.”

“You never loved Emily?”

“Never. I married her for the wrong reasons. There was no love between us, or at least, not on my part.”

“But you loved Leon.”

“Yes,” I said, caressing his strong jaw. “And I loveyou.”

I loved them both but for different reasons. They each had something that called to me. That made me get out of my head and live like I was supposed to.

Leon had been like the sun, thawing my icy barriers and becoming the brightest part of my world. When he died, that world grew cold again.

But Cody was like the universe, encompassing everything—the sun, the planets, and the stars.

Chapter 20

Cody

For the next two weeks, Sebastian and I snuck around, refraining from jumping each other in class and fucking in his office when we couldn’t stand it anymore. I spent a few nights at his house during the week, as well as Saturdays. He looked forward to our Sunday morning breakfast. I did too.

Waking up with the man I loved, making out in the shower once pulling ourselves out of bed, and cooking breakfast together—they were things I had always wanted but never thought I’d have.

The forbidden part of it was fun, yeah, but I couldn’t wait until I could sit with him on campus and hold his hand. I wanted to kiss him in front of everyone, so they knew I belonged to him.

The last day of final exams was the Wednesday before Christmas. I had a few exams on Monday, two on Tuesday, and Sebastian’s on Wednesday. I made it to his class with ten minutes to spare and used the time to look over my study notes. He had told us what material would be on the test, and I had studied so hard for it that I’d often made him laugh when I went over to his house.

“Studying again?” he had asked when I pulled out the papers for the third time.

“Shush, you.” I touched his lips. “My professor is a hard-ass and is gonna kill me with this exam.”

“A hard-ass?” he mumbled against my fingers. “I think not.”

I smiled at the memory.

“Why are you grinning, middleshipman?”

Leave it to Brandon to make that smile vanish.

“Brandon, I know you have an incessant need to know everything, but can you shut the hell up for once? I’m trying to study.”

A guy in the row behind me laughed. Brandon glared at him before shifting that glare to me.

I looked back at my notes, choosing to ignore him.

“I don’t see why you’re worried,” he said.

His tone made me glance up at him. It lacked the usual snootiness.

“You’re smart, Cody. You know the material. You just need to get better at taking tests.” Brandon sat down and pulled two pencils from his bag, one for the test and the other as a backup. “When you read the questions, just take a breath beforehand. Chew gum if you have to so you’re not focusing on everyone around you.”