Page 101 of Brighter Shades of Light

“Don’t be sorry.” I shifted to my other side so I could face him. “It’s hard to sleep without you here.”

He brought my chin forward and kissed me. We didn’t say anything more after that. Not with words, anyway. His lips on mine said many things—that he missed me; that he loved me.

Cody straddled my hips a while later, taking me into his body, and threw his head back with a groan. Our hands clasped together as he rode me, and when he came, he cried out and fell forward, burying his face into the side of my neck.

His panting breaths, the moans leaving his sweet lips, and the way he held onto me—all of these things were stored to my memory. I wanted to spend the rest of my days making him this happy.

***

Days later, I came home from work and started dinner. I had had a long day, but knowing I’d see Cody soon made it better. He always made it better.

I pre-heated the oven and grabbed the chicken from the refrigerator. The spice rack was stocked with all of Cody’s favorites, and I scanned them before choosing the garlic and herb blend. As I was seasoning the chicken, the front door opened and closed.

“Babe?”

“I’m in here,” I called out, placing the chicken in a glass pan before going over to the sink to wash my hands.

I knew something was off right when he walked into the kitchen. He was smiling, as usual, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Cody pulled me in for a light peck on the lips. His dark hair had been cut super short recently. A ‘jarhead haircut,’ as he called it. “What’s for dinner? I’m starving.”

“Stop evading the question. I know you too well. What’s wrong?”

With a defeated sigh, he backed away from me and opened a cabinet. Not finding what he was looking for, he slammed it before opening another. “Where are the goddamn potatoes?”

“In the lazy Susan. Bottom shelf.”

Cody knelt down and turned the cabinet until he found the bag. He plopped it down on the counter with a hard thump before taking a few out and running water over them.

“Cody?”

“I just got word that I’ll be deploying soon,” he said, not looking at me. After grabbing a knife and laying out the cutting board, he began peeling a potato. “Probably Afghanistan.”

My breathing came a little harder.

You knew this would happen. It’s okay.

“All right.” I brought the trashcan over to him and dumped the peels. He didn’t need me to express my million concerns. He needed my support. “Just tell me when you know more.”

He stopped peeling and tilted his head at me. “You’re taking this better than I thought.”

“How did you expect me to take it?”

Cody shrugged and chopped up the potato, dropping it into a pan of water, and grabbing another to peel.

“I knew what to expect going into this,” I said, gently touching his arm. “When you were my student, I knew you owed years to the Corps after graduating. I knew it, and I still fell in love with you. And I would do it again.”

Cody tore his gaze from mine and cleared his throat. “Just sucks. I wanted to marry you first.”

The wedding had been put on the backburner as we settled into our new lives in North Carolina. I thought we would have more time. I should have known we wouldn’t.

“We can get married when you come home.” I took the knife from his hand and turned him to face me. “Planning will give me something to do while you’re away.”

“You’ll be okay when I’m gone?” Cody’s brow furrowed, and he ran a hand through my hair. “No missing meals, losing sleep, and falling behind on basic hygiene?”

Chuckling, I pressed my head against his hand. “I promise. I’ll be fine. Just worry about yourself when you’re gone. I have everything handled here.”