Page 3 of Brighter Shades of Light

My study was the first room I had focused on sorting. The most important room, in my opinion, since it was where I spent most of my time, doing lesson plans for classes and my own research for projects. My work had been published in multiple peer-reviewed journals, though I didn’t do it for the recognition.

I wanted my work to help people, perhaps to make them see chemistry and physics in a new light.

The fall semester started in two weeks, and there was much to do in preparation. My course load was light—only two courses—but most of my time would be spent in the lab, furthering my research and helping undergraduate and graduate students on research projects of their own.

I poured a heaping cup of coffee and went into my study, finding the organization and cleanliness relaxing. An hour or so into my note taking, my phone rang.

“Dr. Vale,” I answered in my standard greeting.

“Hi, Sebastian,” Emily said. “I hope you’re settling into your new place.”

We hadn’t talked in several days, but it wasn’t uncommon for her to call me out of the blue.

“I am.”

“Good.” She sounded relieved. “I was worried about you being in the mountains, even more closed off from people.”

“I’m fine.”

Silence.

“Was there something you needed, Emily?” I divided my attention between the papers I was reading and her. There were constantly new developments in the science field, and it was essential for me to keep up with all the findings.

“I…” Her voice broke. “I just miss you, Sebastian. This house is…I don’t know. Quieter than usual.”

“The house was quiet with me there, as well,” I pointed out.

“I know. But at least then I could remind myself you were in the other room.”

I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes with one hand while holding the phone with the other. Where I thrived on solitude, Emily allowed it to close in on her. She was the type of person who needed constant companionship, an extrovert in all ways.

“Perhaps you should look into getting a dog,” I suggested. “Or a cat, since you aren’t fond of messes.” Not to mention having her precious antiques chewed to bits. Then again, a cat would rip her cushions to shreds. “Or a fish.”

“Maybe.” She breathed into the phone. “Sorry I bothered you. I know you’re working. I just…I guess I needed to hear your voice.”

Oh, how I wished I could’ve loved her the way she loved me. So much heartache and longing laced in her tone; feelings I wasn’t accustomed to. Perhaps it sounded heartless, but I didn’t miss her. I had never loved her.

The breathlessness of falling in love was foreign to me. Love wasn’t logical, and it was difficult to process the mindset of someone overcome with the emotion. At the thought, I looked at the small, antique clock on my desk. My heart beat faster.

Stop. Don’t think about it.

About him.

“You’re an incredible woman, Emily. It’s unfortunate our marriage didn’t go as planned, but I hope you know I wish you the best in life. I want you to find the love you deserve.”

“Thank you,” she said before sniffling. “And I hope you do, too. No one needs to be alone forever.”

Once off the phone, I got back to work, refusing to let myself be distracted. Hours passed, and my lids grew heavy as I read over my lecture notes. It was after midnight. Time had a way of getting away from me sometimes. I could open a book or start a project in the evening and not look up until the next morning.

Standing from my desk chair, I stretched and groaned as my joints popped.

My bed was calling my name.

After changing and brushing my teeth, I slid under the cool covers. The house was quiet. Empty. I turned over in bed, trying to get comfortable, but my restlessness had nothing to do with my new mattress. A barge’s horn sounded in the distance, followed by a night wind moving the branches in the tree outside my window.

Change. It took some getting used to.

Chapter 2