Page 21 of Brighter Shades of Light

Sure, I’d only had, like, four encounters with the guy, so I wasn’t an expert. But I sensed something was off.

It was in his expression. In the way he talked. And it was that look in his eyes during the few instances when he looked at me. As if he wanted to say something but forced himself not to.

When he lectured, it was like his mind was elsewhere. He went over the material in depth and gave examples to clarify any confusion over certain principles and complex methods. But where I usually saw passion as he taught us, now I saw something else.

Nothingness.

He wasn’t just shut off from the world; it was like he lived in a different reality. His physical body was there, but his mind traveled the universe, shooting amongst the stars.

“Now that the first two laws of thermodynamics have been discussed, we’ll begin on the third law.” Dr. Vale clicked the PowerPoint to the next slide. “It states that the entropy of a system approaches a constant value as the temperature approaches zero. Can anyone tell me what entropy is?”

Brandon’s hand shot up into the air. “It’s the degree of disorder in the system.”

After he answered, he smirked at me.

What the fuck, dude?

“Very good.” Dr. Vale nodded. “Entropy is a measure of uncertainty or randomness.”

He went on to explain the reversible and irreversible processes, and I took notes. Entropy was something I’d never been able to wrap my head around. He described it in terms I could understand, though, and I made a section of examples in my notes to reference later when studying.

I couldn’t just read something and know what it meant. I had to have examples, and writing it down helped me remember more than just seeing or hearing it. My favorite way to learn was doing hands-on activities, like not just learning how to replace an engine in a vehicle but actually getting in there and doing it.

After the lecture, I slid my notes inside the textbook and dumped it into my backpack. Since my first three classes of the day were back-to-back, I had to carry all the textbooks at once, and those bastards were thick and heavy. I checked my phone and saw I had an email from the professor from my next class.

Students,

I apologize for the late notice, but class will be canceled today due to a family emergency. Please read the next chapter in your textbooks and do the online quiz I posted on the course page.

-Professor Williams

Awesome. I had an hour to kill before I had to be anywhere. I just hoped everything was okay with the professor. She had a monotone voice when she lectured, and it was hard to stay awake for the full hour, but she was a nice lady.

With the extra free time, I didn’t have to rush out, so I took the opportunity to approach the podium where Dr. Vale was placing his notes and book into a brown messenger bag.

“Hey, Dr. Vale,” I said, feeling a fluttering in my stomach when his green eyes met mine.

Ever since I’d realized I had a major crush on him, I couldn’t be around him without my palms sweating and my heart thumping harder.

“Can I help you with something, Mr. Miller?” he asked in a detached tone, zipping the bag.

“Uh.” My mouth was suddenly dry. “Not exactly. I was wondering…I just…well, I—”

“Please spit it out, Mr. Miller. I have to prepare for my next class, and time is ticking.”

Fuck.I felt like an idiot.

“It’s nothing. Sorry for keeping you.” I took a step back, bumping into someone and apologizing quickly. I looked back at him, finding his brow creased in the middle before it smoothed out. “I guess I just wanted to say thanks for clearing up the confusion about entropy. I feel like I understand it better now.”

“Good.” He grabbed his bag and stepped out from the podium. “If you’ll excuse me.”

He walked away without another word.

All I’d wanted to do was ask if he was okay. Instead, I had sounded like a stammering fool, unable to get a full sentence out. I had panicked at his impatience and couldn’t say what I really wanted to.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Nice try,” an annoying voice said from beside me. Brandon had one of those know-it-all attitudes that made me want to punch him sometimes. “Trying to suck up to the professor? You should know if anyone is going to get that teacher assistant spot, it’s me. Best if you backed off.”