Page 5

Nicole

I came to Mason and Leah’s for a break from the madness in my life.

I’m leaving it in the arms of the man responsible for my madness.

Okay, that’s not fair. Kerrington isn’t solely to blame, because Landon had a hand in it too.

And yes, I’m fully aware that I’m also at fault because I consented to going home with them and submitting completely that night, six months ago, and nothing’s been the same since.

Fuck, my chest feels too tight.

“I’ll drive,” Landon announces with an edge to his tone. He sounds mad, and that makes me feel worse.

We get into my car and the engine roars to life. I’m too tired to even care how they got my car key or that I’m letting them take me away like this. Instead of sitting up front with Landon, Kerrington is in the back seat with me, keeping me in his lap. I feel like a big baby and shame hits me in the throat.

I’ve avoided both of them for months and now I’m right back where I shouldn’t be.

My problems started that night of the gala when I fucked all my prospects of marriage by going to the club, getting caught up in a fantasy, and having the greatest night of my life with the very two men who’ve haunted my dreams. And now they’re driving me away from Mason and Leah’s, taking me. “Where are we going?”

I wish I actually cared.

“To our hotel.” Landon glanced at me from the rearview mirror.

“Unless there’s some other place you’d prefer?” Kerrington adds.

I stay silent because I can’t think straight anymore.

The past month has been the hardest of my career. I finally had to tap out, which is why I came to Mason and Leah’s. They said I could stay with them if I ever reach my breaking point, or if I needed an escape, and Mason gave me a key to their condo just before I blocked him from everything.

He’s been cut out of our society and all the toxic bullshit that comes with it, so his place is an oasis that I will never have for myself. I feel bad for blocking him, but it was the only thing I could think of to keep him out of my bullshit.

Anger stirs in me whenever I think of how unfair all this is.

Mason walked away from our toxic society with a clean break, and I’m still swirling in a vortex of proving myself capable to everyone. I’ll never hate him for getting out of this life. He earned it. And he’s been trying to take me with him ever since. I just wish I knew how to do what he did. No business venture I come up with is good enough for what I want in my life, and the failure stings. Meanwhile, I’m the shark circling companies that are bleeding out, and I devour them on behalf of my family’s business. It’s not easy to look in the eyes of men who are begging for financial help and you have to not only deny them, but have them sign over their companies that we will break down and tear apart. It’s like running a corporate chop shop in my mind. And to say it’s not personal, it’s business? What a crock of shit.

It’s personal to them. And the anger I face, the resentment I endure is too much some days.

We pull into a drive thru and I don’t answer either of them when they ask what I want to eat. I’m too nauseous to think about food. Landon orders a bunch of random combo meals and I just stare out the window. Then I finally slide off Kerrington’s lap and hug myself.

I shouldn’t be here.

“Buckle up,” he orders.

I deftly reach for the seatbelt and click it in place.

“Lay your head back and close your eyes.”

As I do what Kerrington tells me, I feel a warm weight settle on my chest and lap. Cracking my eyes open, I see he’s put his jacket over me like a blanket. It smells like him. It still holds his body heat. The scent of greasy burgers and fries fills the car, and Landon tears off down the road again.

For the first time in a long while, I feel at ease and sleep takes me.

···

“Come on, baby.”

My eyes fly open when the warm jacket is pulled off my lap and, for a second, I can’t figure out where I am or how long I nodded off. “What’s going on?”

“We’re at the hotel.” Landon calmly unbuckles my seatbelt and lifts me out of the vehicle.

“I can walk.”

“I know.” He scoops me up and tightly holds me against him. “Indulge us, Duchess. Let me take care of you.”

Over Landon’s shoulder, I watch Kerrington grab my bag and the food from my car before handing my key to the valet. The attendant won’t stop staring at me with pity, either.

Tears well in my eyes. I look so weak. This is embarrassing. “Put me down.”

“Duch—”

“Put me down!”

Once my feet gently hit the ground, I fix my shirt, annoyed at everything. That nap in the back seat felt like a hundred years and a blink, and now I’m dizzy and wired. What a clusterfuck.

Kerrington heads to the reception desk, I guess to check in.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask Landon.

He’s quiet for a heartbeat and then says, “Kerr and Gage settled everything that was left at BanditFX, so we came to see Mason and hopefully get this new project underway with Leah so we can bring it to a few other waiting clients.”

Jealousy coils in my belly. Whatever they’re doing will hit big, I have no doubt. Things come so easily for Mason and his friends. If it was just about putting in the hard work, I’d be an independent millionaire myself too, but it’s not enough.

Nothing is enough.

Kerrington returns with two key cards and hands one to Landon. “We’re in the penthouse.”

Of course they are. Nothing but the best for these guys.

“Let’s go.” Landon sweeps his arm towards the elevator, and I follow them in silence. When we get inside and the door closes, my stomach rumbles loudly. Landon snags the bag of food from Kerrington and roots around, pulling out a fry. “Open.”

I glower at the fry he’s got up to my lips.

“Open, Nicole. ”

I’m not a trained circus lion, for fuck’s sake. So why do my lips part so he can place the fry in my mouth?

Who cares? It’s salty and tasty and I’m starving. “Can I have another?”

“Absofuckinglutely.” Landon quickly pulls out two more and feeds them to me.

I close my eyes, chewing while leaning against the back of the elevator. The door eventually opens to a long hallway. Their suite is at the end, and I take a lifetime to walk there on my own. The guys don’t rush me either.

Kerrington escorts me inside. “Were you planning on staying at Mason’s?”

“Yes.”

“You’re staying with us now.”

His words land like an anvil at my feet, bolting me down. I’ve known these guys for years. Whenever Mason’s friends come to New York, we eventually run into each other because Mason and I ran in the same social circles. I’ve always envied Gage, Landon, and Kerrington because they weren’t from my and Mason’s world. They were outsiders. New money. Young money.

Most of our families looked down on them because of it.

I, however, saw them as idols. Not because they were rich. Hell, I have plenty of my own money. It’s that they don’t care about what others think of them. Landon legit ordered Door Dash at a ten-thousand dollar a plate fundraiser and ate it with the biggest smile ever while the room gawked and talked shit about him.

Kerrington isn’t much better, he’s just more subtle about it.

To live a carefree life and not worry about what everyone else thinks of you is foreign to me. I got a taste of it that night in the club. I danced my ass off, laughing and drinking with two hot as fuck men. I went back to their hotel and submitted to them. Begged for their cocks. Was a whore on my knees. Curled in their laps like a kitten. Rode their dicks like a jockey. Took them both at the same time and let them come all over me. Inside me.

For one night, I wasn’t Nicole Greystone. I wasn’t the good daughter who makes her parents proud. I wasn’t even the friend who put on a mask and acts like everything’s great, like when I’m with my bestie Grace.

I was someone else. Someone I’m scared of. Because if my truth got out, I’d be finished. Ruined. And I can’t claw my way back from that level of destruction. Jesus, even the one-night stand I had with these two wrecked my reputation enough that my parents have barely spoken to me in months.

Do you know how horrible it feels to work for someone who will look through you like you’re fucking cellophane when they used to regard you with pride and joy ?

My eyes sting with tears again. You’d think I’d cried all the water out of my body at this point. And it’s clear I haven’t learned my lesson, because here I am, right where I do not belong again.

“Sit her on the couch,” Kerrington orders. “Quick.”

It’s only when I feel Landon hoist me up I realize my knees have buckled.

“Jesus Christ, Nicole.” He carries me over to the enormous sofa and carefully sets me on it. “When was the last time you ate?”

I blink slowly, trying to remember. I come up with nothing because my head is too cluttered. “Maybe… I don’t know… a smoothie… on Sunday.”

Landon’s gaze cuts to Kerrington. His jaw clenches and eyes tighten.

“Sunday was three days ago,” Kerrington says out loud.

I nod.

“Oh my fucking God.” Landon retrieves the bag of food and dumps it all out on the coffee table. Quickly unwrapping a burger, he holds it up for me to take. “Eat this.” When I stare at it, he grows mad. “ Now , Duchess.”

It’s the honorific that sets me into action. My arm feels like it weighs a hundred pounds as I reach out for the burger and take it from him. I nibble on it in silence, dreading that this will eventually turn into an interrogation of some kind. I don’t want to tell them what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to admit it.

“Drink.” Kerrington unscrews the cap off a bottle of water and hands it over.

I get down three bites of the burger before feeling nauseous again. “My stomach hurts.”

“Okay.” Landon’s voice is so soft and kind. “Here.” He takes the burger from me and Kerrington quickly grabs a trash can, placing it between my feet in case I puke.

“We’ve got you.” Landon sits down next to me and gathers my hair back. “You’re going to be okay, sweetheart.”

No. I’m not.