Page 24

Landon

Well ain’t this some shit.

It’s been forever and a day since Kerrington has gone hard enough to put himself in this position. It’s not that he’s extreme with his sadism, but the man does love to break things. He’s been on a short leash for a long time with me, because he knows I don’t like pain, but I’m kind of proud of him for pushing his boundaries with our girl. At least he has someone to play with that side of him now.

Too bad shit’s gone haywire again.

She’s hiding something big from us. Big enough to make them both challenge each other. And look, I love me some top-tier bratty behavior, but I think she really pushed him over the edge this time. I can’t remember the last time Kerr had a fucking Dom drop. It took a crazy amount of aftercare to get his head on straight, and a lot of convincing on Nicole’s part to show she was not only okay, but loved what they did out there.

I know I fucking did.

But there’s still a huge elephant in the room with us. I want to know who this TW person is as much as Kerrington, damnit. Her behavior leads me to believe they’re a threat, not a mutual. The possibility sets my teeth on edge.

Once they were cleaned up and tucked into bed, I went in search of her phone while they crashed. It’s currently three in the morning. The entire world is fast asleep. All but me and the busted cell phone I retrieved from outside.

It’s completely shattered and unsavable, potentially taking Nicole’s secrets to its grave.

“What are you doing?” Kerrington asks in a groggy, raspy voice.

His eyes are a little swollen and his hair is a mess. Shirtless, he crosses his arms and walks over to me.

“How do you feel?” I kiss him gently, just a peck, to comfort him.

“Amazing and awful at the same time.”

Kerrington’s never fully embraced his sadistic side. He fucks me how I like, not how he likes. His view of himself has always been a little skewed. The man has no clue how incredible he is. He just looks at his kinky side as monstrous, I think. Such a shame.

The fact that Nicole has welts on her ass and thighs, scratch marks down her back, and teeth indents on her shoulders probably doesn’t help his guilt trip. It’s a helluva sight.

A stunning one, if you ask me.

“You know she loved it, right?” We talked about it earlier while I was cleaning them both up, and the discussion went on and on until Nicole crashed and Kerrington held her tight, as if she was his lifeline, and then he too fell asleep. I’m pretty sure he partially clung to her to make sure she didn’t run away from him in the middle of the night.

Not that I thought for one second she would.

“I’m scared she’s going to regret this in the morning,” Kerrington confesses.

“Impossible.”

“I was an animal.”

“Not hardly. She fucking loved it. Nicole likes it rough, Kerr.”

Kerrington scrubs his face. “She’s not going to be able to sit for a week with how much I spanked her.”

The pain in his voice tears my heart in half.

“She has a safe word and knows how to use it.”

“As her Dom, I should have stopped at a certain point.”

“No, as her Dom, you should have read her like you did, listen to her cues, and act accordingly, which is exactly what you did.” I grip his shoulder and squeeze until he looks at me. “She’s a big girl. She loved it. Maybe she likes it rougher than you. Ever think of that?”

“That’s my biggest concern,” he says carefully. “How much more could I have done? ”

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

Kerrington steps away from me, shaking his head. “I’m not going to unleash that part of me ever again, Landon. Not after…”

My heart sinks. He’s referring to the time he went all in with me, and I couldn’t take it. I safe worded out and needed three full days to recover before I let him touch me again. It’s not that he did anything wrong, because I loved it all. But the intensity was too much. Kerrington likes to push boundaries, specifically his own, and he doesn’t trust himself to not lose control completely.

I’ve told him time and time again that the responsibility isn’t solely on his shoulders. His partner or partners have control over this, too. I safe worded. We discussed what worked and what didn’t. What we both loved and didn’t like. Then we adjusted accordingly. But he never went full throttle on me again.

It’s left a strange black mark on my heart because I want to give him everything he needs. But that’s not always possible and I’ve had to come to terms with it. Besides, he can’t give me everything I need either, so in that regard, we’re even.

It can’t be a coincidence that Nicole fills our voids. She’s able to take Kerrington’s intensity, and she also fills the sub role for me, which Kerrington could never.

“Can you fix it?” He asks, breaking our silence .

“No.” We both stare at the busted cell phone, feeling inadequate for being tech tycoons. It’s not every day I come across a device or program I can’t get into. If it had just busted, that would be easy. But oh no, several cars ran it over before I found it in the middle of the street, crushed. I might be able to recover something useful if I had all my tools with me, but I don’t. “We’re just going to have to let her tell us whenever she’s ready.”

Kerrington makes it obvious he doesn’t like that answer, but what other choice do we have? He tried to fuck it out of her, and that didn’t work. We tried being polite and just asking. That didn’t work. Patience is all we have left.

“Do you think it’s a new fiancé?” he asks.

My gut twists. I hadn’t thought of that. “I fucking hope not. Committing murder was not on my bingo card for this month.”

Kerrington huffs a laugh and drops onto the couch next to me. I rest my head on his shoulder. “You did great tonight with her. I loved seeing the two of you be like that together.”

He tenses next to me. “You weren’t scared or repulsed?”

“Not even possible.”

“I hurt her,” he whispers.

“You fucked her.” Squeezing his thigh, I hope it’s reassuring. “And it was beautiful.”

“She really did sound like she enjoyed it.”

“She squirted like a goddamn geyser twice. Women are so amazing.”

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “Nicole is a goddess.”

“And she’s all ours, man. How’d we get so lucky?”

Silence blankets us again and Kerrington’s breathing slows down as he drifts off to sleep. I close my eyes and fall under too.

···

The scent of bacon, coffee, and cinnamon rolls wakes me up. For a hot second, I’m not even sure where I am.

Living room. Hotel suite.

I’ve somehow been tucked onto the sofa with a blanket and pillow. “Kerrington?”

“He’s in the bed, passed out,” Nicole says.

There are more clinking and clanking noises.

What the hell is going on? Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my eyes and blink blearily at Nicole. She’s got an entire table filled with room service and is currently pouring two cups of coffee. “Eat with me.”

Oh, hell yeah.

I shuffle over, smoothing my tangled hair back, and drop into the chair opposite her.

“I wasn’t sure what you guys liked, so I ordered one of everything off the menu.”

“Perfect.” My smile broadens when I see smoked salmon. “Damn, this is a feast for the gods, sweetheart.”

Nicole giggles as she pours hot sauce all over her eggs. “The lox are all yours, Lan. I do not do fish, and I know Kerr’s not a fan.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because at the gala, you devoured an entire platter of salmon puffs and Kerrington wouldn’t go near it.”

I build the perfect bite of lox, capers, cream cheese and red onion onto a baguette slice and squeeze a bit of lemon onto it. “Never realized you stalked us so hard, Duchess. I’m flattered.”

Shoving the entire thing into my mouth, I almost choke on it when she says, “I’ve never been able to keep my eyes off either of you.”

My throat tightens, fighting my big swallow. I chug some OJ to get it all down. “Oh yeah?”

“I know I always acted like I hated you, but…” Her gaze lifts to mine, holding me hostage. “It’s very much the opposite.”

My heart clatters in my ribs. Before I go off the rails, drop to my knees, and propose, I clear my throat and ask, “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Really, really, really good.”

“Not too sore?”

“Nope.” She stabs her pancakes and stuffs a huge bite in her mouth. “I slept like a baby, too.”

“Did anyone ever tell you it’s not ladylike to talk with your mouth full?”

“Are you accusing me of being a lady?”

We both crack up laughing and I swear I’m eating breakfast with a new version of Nicole I don’t think I’ve ever met before. She’s relaxed, content, peaceful, and happy. She’s fucking glowing .

Kerrington got her this way. I wish he could see her right now, but I’m not about to wake him up. He’s a fucking grouch in the mornings.

“Smiles look good on you, girl. You should wear them more often.”

Instead of dropping into brat mode and losing that gorgeous grin, she beams even brighter. “I feel so different today. So good.”

Morning person or not, I really should wake Kerr up. He’s missing this. “Kerrington’s going to be relieved.”

Her brows knit as she brings her coffee up for a sip. “Why?”

“He let loose on you last night and is still scared he hurt you. He didn’t sleep much because he kept his attention on you all night while you slept.”

She slowly lowers her cup. “Even after I said I was okay?”

I shrug. “Usually I wouldn’t speak for him, or about him like this, but it’s important to understand what’s going on with us. In this dynamic, we have to look out for each other and take care of each other. ”

She scoops a dripping, hot sauce drenched spoonful of eggs into her mouth and chews. I’m pretty sure it’s just to buy a little time so she can brainstorm a response.

“I have a safe word. And I’m a grown woman.”

“Trust me. We’re well aware of both those facts.”

“He needs to trust me to tell him if it’s too much.” Her cheeks and neck turn red and I’m already pouring her a glass of water, afraid it’s from the hot sauce. “If anything…” she says, stalling out.

Christ, she’s turning redder. Should I get the fire extinguisher or something?

“Landon, I um…”

Holy shit, is she going into shock from all the hot sauce? Why does everything have to be so spicy for her, damnit? She’s probably losing the lining in her stomach as we speak.

Nicole tucks her hair behind her ears, making them poke out in the cutest way. “Never mind.”

“No.” I lean forward, concern making heart slam. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.”

“Nicole.” Anger stirs in me because I was so fucking close to having a genuine moment with this woman, and just like always, she’s putting walls back up. “Say it. Please.”

“Well, it’s just that…” She taps her fork on th e edge of her plate. “He thinks he’s too rough but…” She clears her throat, and her face reddens like a goddamn tomato. “I would argue he wasn’t rough enough. For me. At least.”

Pretty sure my soul just left my body.

Her gaze flickers to the bedroom door, and her entire demeanor changes in an instant. “Good morning.”

I don’t have to turn around to see that Kerrington’s awake. Nor do I have to pretend that she didn’t just have an open moment with me and now wants to sweep it under the rug because she’s embarrassed to admit she’s a masochist.

Awww . Bless .

“Good morning, baby.” Kerrington strolls over with his sweatpants hung low on his hips and kisses her forehead first, then mine. It’s this precise act that makes me fall for him a little more every day.

He’s brutal and gentle. Strong and fragile. Just like the rest of us.

Sitting between us, he fills his plate while Nicole pours him a cup of coffee. “What a spread.”

“I woke up starving,” she says. “Charged the room for all of it, too.”

“Good girl.” He snags several slices of bacon and then tops off my coffee for me.

Am I living in La-la-land over here? Are we all just going to pretend that there isn’t a herd of elephants gathering in the room with us ?

There’s a mystery caller on a broken phone, along with a masochist, sadist, and switch having breakfast together. I feel like there should be a joke in here somewhere.

“What do you want to do today?” Kerrington swipes his mouth with a napkin and leans back. “Whatever it is, you’re getting it.”

Great. This is Kerr’s way of saying he’s sorry for last night.

“Well, I guess we need to start with getting you a new cell phone,” I say, butting in before Nicole can respond. “Right?” My eyes dart to her and she mirrors Kerrington’s body language. Fantastic. Now I have two hardheads to live with.

“I don’t need a new phone yet. It’s nice to be unplugged.”

“What if there’s an emergency?” I press. “Your parents or Grace might need you.”

“No one needs me.”

Oh, if only she knew how untrue that is.

“We do,” Kerrington says. “We fucking need you, Nicole.” He reaches under the table, and I think puts his hand on her thigh.

The upbeat, happy girl I dined with a mere five minutes ago vanishes. She shoves away from the table and abandons her breakfast… and us.

My heart stops when I hear the bathroom door shut. Kerrington, however, goes back to eating his meal like nothing’s wrong.

“What the fuck?”

“Let her be. ”

“No.” I shove my chair back and stand. “I’m sick of stalling and acting like this doesn’t hurt.” Storming into the bathroom, I don’t even bother knocking. I just plow right in and find her flushing the toilet.

“Landon!”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Shut us out again!” My heart thuds hard in my throat. “I hate that I’m walking on eggshells with you, Nicole. And you know what? I’m glad Kerrington fucked you so hard you couldn’t walk last night, because you wear his mark all over your body. He branded you. Maybe I should too, so everyone knows you're ours.” Then my petty side shows up. “So TW knows you’re fucking ours .”

Her face turns crimson just before all the blood drains from it.

“What the fuck do we have to do to make you understand we love you? That we’ll do anything for you? That we need you?”

“Lan…”

“Shut the fuck up and let me finish.” Christ, I’m such an asshole. But I’m pissed off and can’t filter myself. “We’ve spent nearly a decade watching and wanting you from the sidelines. A decade, woman!” I slam my fist on the counter. “And now you give us a glimpse of what life would be like if we could keep you forever and the instant you start feeling happy about it, you close off.”

She shakes her head.

I cup her face, stopping her. “Yes. You do. Out there,” I say, pointing toward the dining area. “You were the happiest I have ever seen you, Nicole. And in one minute, when you had to face your truth, you shut us out again.”

“I’m not shutting you out,” she hisses, smacking my hand away from her cheek. “I’m protecting you, you asshat!”

“Protecting us from what?”