Page 25

Nicole

I am in so much trouble.

“Protecting us from what ?” Landon asks furiously. His blue eyes darken with frustration and concern. I prefer it when they’re bright and sparkling. Guess everyone has two sides to their coin. Landon is wildly funny, but also fiercely protective. Kerrington is stoic and intense, but also insecure and cautious.

Me? I’m weak and also stupid.

My brain shoves all the excuses down my throat, and I swallow them. I could say I have this small, insignificant issue handled. I could pull the “it’s not your business” card again. I could laugh and play it off like I’m joking. I could lie. I could leave.

I won’t do any of those things.

This week with Landon and Kerrington was supposed to be my last hurrah. My final goodbye. My “it was nice knowing you guys, and it’s been fun, but I gotta hit the road,” and never look back.

As if there was ever a chance I could be so strong ?

These two men are my weakness. My kryptonite.

My downfall and my salvation.

I think it took seeing Kerrington break down last night, scared to death that he hurt me, for my eyes to finally open wide. They’re not an itch for me to scratch. They’re my heartbeat. The air I breathe. The purpose I’ve been searching for.

“I’ve been in love with you both for a long time.” I’m painfully aware that Kerrington has also now entered the chat. This massive bathroom no longer feels spacious at all. Leaning against the counter, I cross my arms. “I don’t know how to say any of this.”

“Let’s start by getting out of here and into the living room,” Kerrington says, all traces of comfort gone from his tone.

My heart clunks as I follow him out, with Landon behind me. Suddenly feeling like a prisoner being escorted to her new cell, I keep my head down and go back into default mode.

Deny, deflect, and disrespect.

Except I can’t summon the energy to engage. Keeping this last secret has drained me for too long. If I can share my heart and my body with these two men, why not share my burdens too?

“I’m being blackmailed.”

They both become unnaturally still in front of me.

I pretend they’re only statues and pour my heart out.

“After the gala, one particular asshole followed us to the club and took pictures of us. He also got photos of us in the hotel room by the window.”

Landon swipes a hand down his face, likely remembering how he fucked my brains out against said window with my tits smashed against the glass.

“He threatened to post the images of us across all social media and send them to the board of directors at my family’s firm, as well as every client.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Landon paces like an angry tiger. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“I was handling it.” The words no sooner leave my mouth when the lie sinks in. I haven’t handled it at all. If anything, I’ve let it eat my self-respect down to the roots. “I didn’t tell you because it’s personal.”

“ How personal?” Kerrington growls.

Shame wraps its hands around my neck and starts squeezing. “He…” I don’t think I can say this out loud without breaking down.

“Did he hurt you? Push himself onto you?”

Landon freezes, waiting for me to answer Kerrington’s question. My cheeks get tingly and even my scalp goes numb.

“Why can’t we just go back to breakfast? Or last night?” I beg. “Just forget this bullshit and go back to being happy? It’s going to be fine. I have it covered.”

Kerrington drops to his knees before me and rests his hands on my thighs. “Baby, we need to know what he’s done. We can’t go back to happy until we know you’re safe.”

“I am safe. I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

I’m not about to tell them I pay the fuckhead thousands every month for his silence.

“What about Japan?” Landon asks. “What about when you leave us again?”

My heart hiccups and I feel woozy. “I won’t matter after that.”

Kerrington’s brow digs down. He looks like I just punched him in the gut. “Nicole.”

“Don’t,” I hiss, squeezing my eyes shut. “Please don’t press this, Kerrington.”

“Give us his name.” Landon’s voice shakes with anger. “Give. Us. His. Name.”

“Why?” I open my eyes and wish I’d kept them closed. Because the looks on their faces kills me. “Please… I’m not worth the trouble I’ve caused. The press had a field day with me at the gala because they like humiliation. It’s just click bait. I’m okay with that and don’t care. So, you shouldn’t either.”

“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be paying them for their silence.”

“How did you know I was paying them?” I gawk at Kerrington, feeling too exposed for my own good .

“I didn’t until just now, baby.”

He fucking tricked me into admitting I’m in deeper than I want to say. And when he pulls me into a hug, I want to bite him.

Instead of taking a chunk of his face off, or pushing him away, I cling to him with all my might. I can’t stop shaking. I don’t have it in me to shed tears over this, because that pity party ended several months ago. “If he’s calling now, he’s only upping the amount… or has something new to use against me.”

I keep the little detail that the fucker has been stalking me to myself. I’m not trying to get my guys locked up for murder.

Wow. I must be a special kind of delulu if I think either of these men would actually kill for me. Still, I don’t want them charged with assault or anything else either. My reputation was trashed long ago. I’m not about to let theirs go in the shitter, too.

“Who else knows about this?” Kerrington asks.

“No one.”

“Not even Mason or Grace?”

“Definitely not.” I push free from Kerrington’s embrace. “And they better never find out.”

“Your secret is safe with us,” he promises, and I want to believe him. But there’s an edge to his tone I don’t trust.

“ You’re safe with us.” Landon sits down next to me and holds me against him, kissing the side of my head. “Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us this, sweetheart.”

All I keep thinking about is how I was so happy this morning. I was so free and joyful and hungry and it’s like I was a new, better person.

But chucking my phone off the twenty-seventh floor isn’t going to solve my problems. Just like fucking the two loves of my life for a week won’t ease the ache in my soul after I leave.

I’m just putting band aids on bullet holes here.

“He won’t follow me to Japan,” I say, like I have a clue how far this guy will go. “And he didn’t touch me, so if you’re worried about that, don’t be.”

“Why does that sound like a half truth?” Landon asks.

Because it is, damnit. “He came to my office late one night. Locked me in a boardroom and tried to coerce me into fucking him. Said if I did, he wouldn’t put out the photos.”

The tension in the room is so thick, I could cut it with a chainsaw.

“What happened then?” Kerr’s voice is so calm, it makes me wince.

“He tried to take what he wanted from me, anyway.”

I don’t like talking about this.

Landon’s hands ball into fists. I keep my attention on Kerrington, if only to let him see how brave I am. “I threw a chair at him and screamed until security came in. He got away, and was wearing a mask, so the surveillance cameras didn’t catch him. But he followed me to a coffee shop a couple days later, demanding I give him money, or he’d send out my pics. When I dumped my coffee on him, he posted two articles, which set my career on fire.”

“Greystone Princess rebels with ex-fiancé’s best friends,” Landon recites.

“Rebound and Reboot - Taking revenge where she can find it .” Kerrington adds.

I cringe inwardly as shame heats my face. “You saw those?”

“Sweetheart,” Landon grabs my hand. “I was the one who took them down.”

“Wait. No. My parents paid off some hacker to take all the damning articles down.”

“They didn’t pay us a dime, baby,” Kerrington says quietly. “We did it before they even asked.”

I think I’m losing my mind. “No. That… that doesn’t make any sense. My mother said she paid some guy an exorbitant amount of money to have it all erased.”

“She lied.”

The air whooshes out of me. “Why would she lie to me about that?”

“Probably because you wouldn’t have believed the truth,” Kerrington says, and it’s such a blow to my belly. He’s right. I would never have expected them to save my ass like that, nor would I have accepted their help.

I had to hit rock bottom to come back to them.

Oh god. They waited for me. I ran away, cut them out, and they still waited for me. They took care of me even when I couldn’t see it, didn’t know, and didn’t ask.

Hot tears burn my eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Shh.” Kerrington pulls me into his chest again and wraps his strong arms around me.

A million questions soar through my foggy brain. I’ve dragged them into my shitshow, regardless of how much energy, time, and money I’ve spent trying to keep them out of it.

“Stop paying him,” Kerrington orders.

“No! We’ll be dragged online. Shunned from our society.”

“So what?” Landon huffs next to me. “We don’t give a flying fuck about anyone who’s not in our immediate family.”

“Mason,” Kerrington counts on his fingers. “Leah, you. Our family is chosen, and small, and perfect as is. We’ve never given a shit about what others think of us. You know that, Nicole.”

My heart swells. “I didn’t think you thought of me in your circle like that.”

Kerr’s hands fall to my side. “Of course we do. We invite you to everything.”

“I figured it was out of pity. ”

“Does this look like pity to you?” Landon growls. “Does anything we’ve done with you look pitiful, Nicole?”

Biting my lip, I shake my head. Oh my god, I love them so much.

“What’s it look like then?” Landon’s tone stays stern. “Come on. Tell us.”

“Love.”

“That’s right, sweetheart.” He kisses my forehead.

Kerrington brings us back to the real problem. “You can’t pay this guy off forever, Nicole.”

“Of course I can.”

“And when he ups the amount?” he asks. “What then?”

He’s already done that, not that I’ll admit it. “I’ll figure it out.”

“ We .” Landon stresses. “ We will figure it out.”

They smother me with their big bodies, and good scents, and masculine energy. “I didn’t want you to be sucked into my drama.”

“Baby, we’ll get sucked into anything you’re a part of. Happily.”

“It’s what you do when you love someone, Nicole. You take the good and the bad.”

“The ugly and the beautiful,” Kerrington says.

“Did… did you just call me ugly?” I fake being mad and smack his arm. “Rude. ”

Kerrington chuckles, allowing me the small distraction with my terrible attempt at humor. It’s enough to let me catch my breath.

“I’m so sorry for everything,” I whisper.

He wipes the tear from my cheek with his thumb. “You don’t ever have to apologize to us, Duchess. So long as you’re being authentic and true, never say sorry for that to anyone.”

I’ve wrestled with my upbringing for as long as I can remember. Yes, it’s nice to be stupid rich, but it’s not without a major cost. Sometimes I don’t think the money is worth it. Not when my personal life is being scrutinized. Not when I’m constantly being judged for what I say, do, wear, eat, where I shop and work, or who I love.

“I love you both so much.” Swiping the tears from my face, my fortress builds back up.

“And we love you.” Kerrington kisses my head and holds me tighter. “Which means we’ll do anything for you, baby. Anything.”

“Let us help you,” Landon urges again. “ Please .”

It’s the crack in Landon’s voice, and the protectiveness trembling in Kerrington’s arms, that breaks my walls down and I finally give in.