Page 17

Nicole

I must be out of my goddamn mind. It’s Landon’s fault. He can’t just dick me down so good that all my worries and shame evaporate.

It’s a cock. Not a cure.

What is wrong with me?

Still, I can’t seem to care about anything other than the way they work together to make me feel like I’m the purest form of pleasure on earth.

Kerrington kisses me like I’m better than the air he breathes.

Landon touches me like I’m a drug he’ll never get out of his system.

If I leave…. Will one suffocate and the other collapse?

My heart sinks because I don’t want them to suffer. Ever. The things they confessed earlier roll through me, making me cautious about my next move.

They said they love me.

“Is that really true?” I’m too stupid to stop the words from leaving my dumb mouth .

“Is what true, baby?” Kerrington’s got me tucked into his chest while Landon’s lying on my other side, running idle circles along my thigh. The post orgasmic bliss has all of us rocking lazy house cat energy.

“That you love me.”

Oh my god, why am I being so pathetic? I shouldn’t ask. I should have just stayed quiet and let them touch me.

Kerrington lifts his head, scowling. “Do you think we’d lie about something like that, Nicole?”

And now, of course, my mouth decides not to work.

“We don’t play with feelings,” Landon pipes up. “And we’d never say something that wasn’t true.”

“You don’t even know me,” I finally get out.

“How can you say that?” Kerrington grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. “You’re strong and smart and sassy as fuck.”

Landon swipes the hair from my face and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been in the spotlight your whole life.”

“You love spicy food.” Kerrington brings my attention back to him. “And you have a terrible habit of acting like you hate people because it’s your coping mechanism.”

Guilty.

Inwardly, I cringe. “You’ve forgotten the most crucial thing.”

“What’s that?” Landon hooks his arm around my middle and nuzzles against me.

“That I’m a callous bitch with no soul.”

Kerrington pinches my chin, a look of disdain clear on his handsome face. “Don’t ever let me catch you calling yourself that again, Nicole. Understand me?”

I swallow around the tightness in my throat. “It’s hard to see myself any other way when that’s all I’m used for.”

Landon lifts onto his elbow and props his head. “You’re a shark in bloody waters. That’s the nature of your business.”

The way he says it almost makes my actions excusable. “I tear apart companies, paying them pennies on the dollar for their life’s work. I basically rip apart their hopes and dreams.”

“You bail them out of bankruptcy and help them save face.” Kerrington huffs as if to argue with him otherwise is futile. “I imagine it’s tough sometimes, but ultimately, you’re not the one who sank their ship. You’re coming in with a lifeboat to help them.”

I once thought that too, but the Greystone family, my family, has a reputation for being cold and heartless. We don’t see people. We see debt and dollar signs.

When Mason sold BanditFX, he, Kerrington, Landon, and Gage made a lot of money. I’m the opposite of that. I buy and convert, but don’t see a dime. The Greystone Family Trust does. Yes, I can pull from it whenever I’d like, but that has stopped. When Mason blew up the gala and we got out of our “arrangement”, he got to live his happily ever after with no recourse. I self-sabotaged with the two men in my arms right now, and my life blew up immediately afterwards. I haven’t taken a penny from the accounts since. All I have is my biweekly paycheck, which has made my current lifestyle unsustainable.

“My father is forcing me to move to Japan.”

Saying the words out loud makes me feel like shit. I’ve just turned a wonderful afternoon into a drama fest. That seems to be all I know how to do.

But I need to talk to someone about it. I could have vented to Leah and Mason, but I don’t want their pity, and I don’t want to disrupt the great thing they have going. And as for talking to my best friend Grace, Mason’s sister, she’s going through her own shit right now and to pile on more misery isn’t fair. So, her telling me Kerrington and Landon would be at Mason’s this week was perfect timing.

“I leave in ten days.”

They’re exchanging looks again. They do that a lot. I can’t imagine knowing someone well enough to read their expression and know what’s in their heart. But these two do it all the time. I want a piece of that. To belong and be understood.

“For how long?” Kerrington asks .

“Until I get in line.” I think I’m going to be sick. I’m pushing thirty, single, with no degree or direction in life. I just do what I’m told and will bend over backwards to make someone else proud. My life sucks. “So basically, I’m fucked. I’ll be in Japan for the rest of my life.”

I try to laugh it off, so it doesn’t hurt so much.

“Get. In. Line.” Landon acts like the concept is so foreign, he has to repeat it again and again for his mind to make it click. “You’re one hell of a talented businesswoman and you’ve made the Greystone Foundation huge over the past five years. What the fuck more do your parents want from you?”

I don’t have an answer for that. I just know I ruined what was left of my reputation by being with Kerrington and Landon at the club and going back to the hotel with them that night. My father called me a whore the next day and my mom stays clear of me most of the time.

“I’m sorry. What ?” Landon shoots up from the bed.

Oops. I guess I said some of that out loud. I hadn’t meant to.

“Your parents are pieces of shit. No wonder they’re best friends with Mason’s family.”

“Landon,” Kerrington chides. “They’re still her family. Watch your mouth and tone.”

“Fuck that!” He paces back and forth at the foot of the bed. His jaw clenches and face turns redder and redder.

Now I feel horrible.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” I don’t know why I opened my big dumb mouth to begin with. “Can we turn back time again and just start at the part of the day where you were blowing my back out on the corner of the bed, Trick?”

He’s not amused. “Don’t belittle your fucking feelings or your worth, Nicole.” He runs his hands angrily through his hair. “Why don’t you just leave?”

“And go where?”

“Home with us!” he shouts.

“It’s not that simple.”

“ Yes. It is.” Now he’s good and mad.

Kerrington stiffens. “Landon.”

“What?” He tosses his hands up. “How are you not enraged by all this?”

“I am. But she doesn’t need anger right now. She needs peace.”

I think I need both. Some terrible part of me finds it nice to see Landon so angry on my behalf. No one else has ever been so enthusiastically furious over me before. But Kerr is right too. I don’t want to be swept away by fury. I want peace and silence. Comfort.

“I don’t understand why you won’t just tell everyone to kiss your fucking ass and leave them.”

My mood sours quickly. “Because I can’t just walk away from everything.”

He sits on the edge of the bed and grabs my hand. “You’re not walking away from everything, Nicole. You’re walking to everything.”

“Landon. Stop.” Kerrington sits up. “She doesn’t need this right now.”

Before I can agree or disagree, Landon storms out of the bedroom. I think he’s taken my heart with him because it feels awfully hollow in my chest once he’s out of my sight.

“Give him some time to cool down, baby.” Kerrington kisses the back of my shoulder. “He feels everything deeply. It’ll take him a minute to see straight, but he’ll be back, hyper and happy as ever.”

I had no idea Landon was this extreme.

It makes me wonder what else I never knew about him. And how the hell do they know so much about me? Pivoting the conversation, I switch tactics. “How did you know I like spicy food?”

“I’m usually sitting across from you at dinner. And you always order something that’ll make your eyes water and nose run. Glutton for punishment much?”

I laugh because he’s right. “I like food that tries to kill me. Keeps life interesting.”

“I remember that contest you entered with the hot wings.”

“Oh yeah?” I waggle my brows at him. “ Made you boys a pretty penny that day, didn’t I?”

“Fuck yeah, you did.” Kerr kisses my forehead again and settles us both back in the bed. “Mason and I were both scared to death that you were pushing yourself too far in the final round. You looked like you couldn’t breathe up there.”

“Well, that which does not kill you, raises the bar on the Scoville scale.”

“Like I said. Glutton. For. Punishment.”

“Tell me about it. My pride cost me a week in the bathroom afterwards. Worth it though.”

Kerrington’s head tips back and a laugh so bold and lovely flies out of him. “You’re a fucking menace.”

Preening, I relax against him and close my eyes. “Glad you appreciate my humility.”

“I appreciate everything about you, baby.”

“Thank you.” I curl against him a little tighter. “For being here for me.”

“We aren’t going anywhere, Nicole. I promise.”

No. They aren’t. I am. “I don’t want to leave…” you is on the tip of my tongue, but I bite down on it.

“Shh.” He straightens our covers and cuddles up with me. “That’s not a problem for today, Duchess. Just relax and let me hold you.”

I lay there in the arms of one man, while longing for the other to join us.

“I envy him,” Kerrington says quietly.

Craning my neck to lock gazes with him, I wait for him to continue.

“Landon walks through life knowing exactly what he wants and isn’t ashamed to go for it. If people have something to say, he lets it bounce right off his back. He lives every day as if it could be his last and doesn’t give a shit about anything other than chasing his happiness and owning his truth.”

“You don’t?”

Kerrington shakes his head. “I’m trying. But… it’s hard. I’m not very good at confessing my feelings or living so loudly.”

“I think you live loud enough.”

“Oh yeah?” He smiles at me. “How so?”

“The tension you bring is… very noticeable. The way you look at Landon.” I sigh. “I would sometimes pretend catching you looking at me that way too.”

“What way is that?”

“Like you’d do anything to get inside me.” I swallow hard. “Like you’d kill to protect me.” Okay, now I’m being overly dramatic.

“Is that so?” Kerrington tips my chin, so I have to look at him. “How am I looking at you now?”

Like I’m the only thing that exists. “Like you just came really hard and are now hungry for loaded cheese fries and a half pound burger with bacon. ”

Kerrington gawks at me and, even though we both know I ruined the moment, he lets it slide. “You’re right.”

“I knew it.” Patting his chest, I get comfy again. “See? I know you really well, too. I can read you like a book.”

“At least I’m a pretty book.”

“Oh yeah, for sure. With all the sprayed edges and gorgeous interior artwork.”

Kerr chuckles. “It’s nice you think that, Duchess.”

I lay on my back too, and we both end up staring at the ceiling. “I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m with you guys.”

He blindly reaches for my hand and holds it. “Same.”

The door slams shut, signaling that Landon has left the suite, and I immediately sit up, wanting to chase him down.

“Don’t worry.” Kerrington pulls me back down on the bed. “He’ll be back soon.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can read him like a book, too.” We lay in silence for a little while longer and then Kerrington pops up on his elbows and flashes me a killer smile. “Wanna give him an incentive to hurry back fast, Duchess?”

“What do you have in mind?”