Page 3

Landon

The flight was uneventful and Kerrington and I only make small talk before and after the inflight movie. When we land, I hand him his bag, grab my own, then we silently walk out of the airport and straight to Mason’s waiting car.

“Hello boys,” Leah says with this massive smile on her face. “Miss me?”

“Getcha ass over here, woman!” My heart pounds with excitement at just seeing my girl, Leah. She runs over and jumps into my arms, wrapping her legs around me, and squeals when I twirl her.

I’m so fucking happy for Mason because he’s found his missing piece. Every man deserves a Leah in their life and I’m damn grateful she’s in mine too.

“Kerrington,” she says in a flirty tone once I let her go.

“Leah.” He easily wraps her in a warm hug.

God, I love how he does that. His embrace, whether it’s with me or someone else he cares about, is all-encompassing. Like it’s folding you into armor or some shit. Makes you feel safe and cherished.

My mind flashes back to when he held Nicole close to him that one amazing night. He’s hugged her a million times, but six months ago he held her exactly like this—like he wanted to keep her. Tuck her into his pocket and save her for later.

That was the best night of our life together. We both got what we needed for the first time in forever. And by morning, it was gone. Vanished. As if it had never been.

As my Dom, Kerrington makes sure all my needs are met… when he can. And the fact that he can’t fulfill all of them makes our connection glitchy at best some days. He’s trying. I know that. But I don’t think I’m enough for him either, which makes me feel some kind of way.

I need Nicole. That’s the bottom line.

I need Nicole and Kerrington both , which breaks my heart because I can’t have one, and I’m sure to lose the other, eventually.

With Nicole now going on some kind of social media hiatus, the only link I had left to her has been severed. At least when I kept up with her posts, it was like I could pretend we were back in the good old days. It’s not like Nicole and I talked much outside of social gatherings, so keeping up with her online has always been part of my life. Even in college. I just never told anyone about it. And now it’s gone .

Actually, it’s been gone for a while, considering all her damn posts are of other people and not her. Or, if she is in it, she’s so far away, or in the back of the group photo, that I can’t get a good look at her. It drives me nuts.

And Kerr and I have been so rocky lately, I’m scared that the one night with Nicole has destroyed us. I can feel him pulling away from me more and more, and I’m doing the same. It’s not that I don’t love him, because fuck yeah, I do. It’s just that I can’t bear the thought of not being enough for him. And I know he’s not enough for me.

Christ, I’m an asshole.

It’s just that a person can’t thrive off tiny bites of food every day. They need whole, well-balanced meals.

Landon and I are not well-balanced and never truly have been.

“What’s up with you two?” Leah asks, breaking me away from my thoughts.

“Long night and an early flight,” Kerrington says with a tired smile. “We’re beat.”

“You look it,” Mason teases.

Flipping him the bird, I walk over and give him a hug. “It’s good to see you, man.”

We all climb into Mason’s car and Leah buckles up first. “You guys hungry?”

“Starved,” I say from the backseat.

Kerrington groans, dramatically. “Step on it, Mase. None of us can survive a hangry Landon. ”

So true.

Leah looks back and waggles her eyebrows at me. “There’s a new place I’ve been dying to try that apparently makes the best, fattest, juiciest burgers. Wanna go there?”

“As if you have to ask?”

I place my hand over Kerrington’s and sigh heavily.

I’m tired. Frustrated. And also relieved. The mix of emotions only makes me want to eat my feelings, so a big ass burger sounds perfect.

···

After devouring a meal that could feed a family of five, I’m feeling way better. We can’t check into our hotel for another couple of hours, so we’re heading to Mason’s place.

“I don’t know why you two don’t just stay with us,” Leah pouts.

I grin like a devil. “You don’t?” We climb out of the car, and I whisper in her ear, “We break headboards, baby. I’m not about to smash up your furniture on night one.”

She howls with laughter and high fives me.

Gage, Mason, and Leah all know Kerrington and I are a thing. We fucked around a bit in college and had some occasional fun after we got BanditFx going. Long nights in the office were perfect for us to slam together and get our pent-up energy out. We finally took things to the next level and moved in together two years ago. Even though we have separate bedrooms, I’m usually in his bed every night, anyway.

We’ve occasionally invited others to join us. Always a woman. Nicole was the last one and honestly, I don’t think I can move past it.

She was the perfect fit for us.

Kerrington isn’t a switch like me, and he understands the importance of needing a sub because he has me to fill that role for him. Which means he might also understand, especially after that incredible night with Nicole, that I need the same fucking thing, although I haven’t admitted that part out loud. I thought maybe it was a blip. A little itch I could scratch to get it out of my system.

Nicole is not a woman you get out of your system. And the desire to get back what I had that night isn’t something I can turn off. Not easily, at least.

Mason hooks his arm around Leah’s waist and escorts her inside. Kerr and I follow.

“What do you guys want to do today?” I ask, eager to have some fun. See? I’m such a happy boy after I’ve eaten. “Movies? Shopping? Board game? Ohhh Monopoly?”

“You’re not allowed to play Monopoly,” Kerrington reminds me with a sharp tone. “Remember the snowstorm blood bath from four years ago?”

Mason visibly shivers. “God damnit, now I’m going to have nightmares again.”

“That bad?” Leah laughs.

“Princess, you have no idea.” Mason shoves an accusatory finger at me. “That man looks like a golden retriever, but he’s a shark. A nasty, greedy, take it all shark.”

Holding my chest, I gasp. “That’s not true. I’m just better at getting what I want than the rest of you.”

“You’re a monster,” Kerrington tosses out there.

“I prefer the term Shameless Entrepreneur.”

“He’ll take everything from you with a smile on his face,” Mason explains to Leah.

She shrugs. “Well, isn’t that how you play to win?”

“Exactly. See? She gets me.” I hook my arm around hers and pull her away from Mason. “I’d never do that to you, though. You’re my favorite.”

“Don’t believe him, Leah!” Kerrington warns from behind us. “He’s a fucking menace with no conscience.”

Eye-rolling dramatically, I lean into her. “He’s still scarred about going bankrupt after three turns around the board.” I cluck my tongue. “Really, Kerrington, grow a pair and fight me for Broadway next time.”

We take the elevator up to Mason’s condo and when the door opens, it’s like I step into a dream .

No.

It’s a nightmare.

“Nicole?” Mason's voice fills with alarm. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

She takes one look at me and collapses.