Page 35 of Bonding Beasts (Bonding: The Ultimate Guide #3)

“I am,” Kimi agrees without a shred of pride or remorse.

“Do tell me, why the hand, my dear?”

“Wifey wants it, wifey gets it.” And then he hangs up. No goodbye or nice to meet you, just his finger tapping on the end call button .

I stare at the darkened screen until Kimi slides it into his back pocket, much like Ben carries his.

“So, this is bad.” Ben nods to himself as he watches Kimi.

“An obstacle?” Mitri asks, watching me.

“No!” I shout without thought. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself down and speak normally. “It would be better for everyone here if no one meets Ben’s mom. Just let me handle her, okay?”

“You’re not supposed to kill your in-laws, Mitri.” Kimi walks over to the table and lifts what I realize is a silver platter, not a plate. Then he brings it to me, holding it at stomach level while looking into my eyes.

“It’s a gift,” he offers it out to me.

“Y-your service?” I stupidly take the platter from him and hold it as far away as possible.

“The rest is for our dog,” he continues.

Much like the conversation with Scilla, I’m reduced to an uh-huh as an answer.

“He’s a perfect pet. I’m glad you adopted him from that lady. She sounds like a downer. He’ll be much happier with us.”

Ben chokes and begins laughing with an edge of hysteria to it. Then, his phone lets out the dreaded AC/DC song he set up for Scilla’s ringtone.

In a blur of motion, Kimi is suddenly in front of Ben, reaching into his back pocket to pull out the phone. Seeing who it is on the caller ID, he answers without preamble, “He’s ours now. Cut the cord.” Then he hangs up.

Kimi holds the phone in front of him, staring at it like he’s willing it to ring again and defy him.

While he’s distracted, I slide up behind him and pick his pocket as deftly as I can manage with the complication of a tail and continue around to his side, sliding Ben’s phone from his grip and tossing it back to him. Ben catches it and watches it as if it’s a live grenade.

“Did you just feel me up,” Kimi asks flatly as he stares.

“Yup, sure did,” I nod and slowly pace to the glass sliding door leading out to the backyard. Once I’m outside and the door is closed behind me, I continue walking calmly and dial Scilla back.

“Hurry up,” I whisper quickly as the line connects. I continue my lazy stroll around the backyard, waving to some faeries watching me with open mouths like I’m royalty or some crap. “It’s getting hard to keep track of where my phone ends up, and I’m pretty sure they’re going to steal it again.”

“Are you and my Benji in trouble, sweetmeat?”

“No, just annoyed,” I grumble.

“Fair enough. You need to warn your new beau that Tremaine has given a description of him. Gold skin and a tail with razor blades, sweetmeat? How daring,” she chuckles mockingly.

“He’s not my beau,” I grit back and glance behind me. Ben is standing in front of the doors, hiding me from view, hopefully.

She gives me a lady-like tsk. “Any male who gifts you body parts should automatically be a beau. How have I gone so wrong with you?”

“I didn’t mean for him to get a whole hand, damn it,” I argue.

“He took the initiative and improvised. It proves he’s swift on the uptake. Who is he?”

“Not answering that,” I can’t help feeling smug. Like a child, my inner voice is chanting I know a secret, and she doesn’t .

“Very well,” Scilla says calmly. “When will my grandchildren arrive? ”

My feet freeze without permission, and I almost fall on my face. “ WHAT? ”

“You have many admirers, sweetmeat. I simply wish to lay claim to the firstborn. It will be Benji’s, of course. Correct?”

“Stop messing with me, you old hag!”

She gasps in surprise and stays silent for a moment. “Say it again. Slowly, this time.”

I slap myself on the forehead. Of course, she’s not mad. I’m the only one who talks to her like this. This is like her version of phone sex. Gag , no.

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Wait,” she demands in a strict voice, dropping all hints of civility. “You will have an opportunity soon. I recommend you do not pass it up.”

She hangs up on me for once.

“Your service, fortune cookie,” I mutter and slide my phone back into my pocket. “Too bad you didn’t tell me the winning lotto numbers too.”

I wave goodbye to the still gaping faeries and go back inside. Ben is a foot away from the door and turns slightly when I enter.

I know he heard everything by the look on his face. It’s a mixture of confusion, concern, and teenage petulance. I nod once at him with a grimace, and he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me into his body until our hips bump.

Mitri and Kimi are on one side of the room, facing off against King. Mal is a few feet behind his mate, arms crossed as he watches Ben and me.

I clear my throat loudly to break up whatever stare-off I’m witnessing, and Ben turns his head to nuzzle my hair, hiding his smile.

The other three males look in my direction. One set frustrated, and the other two staring intently from blank faces .

“Kimi?” I begin hesitantly. I know what needs to be said, but with his behavior, I’m not sure how to go about it without added drama. I just lay it out without sugarcoating, hoping for the best.

“Tremaine gave a full description of you to a news station, and they’re airing it everywhere.”

“Who knew trout were tattletales?” Kimi mumbles to himself.

Brushing that aside. “Can you disguise yourself if you go into town… or anywhere off the property. Maybe just all the time?”

“You want me to grow a mustache.”

“No,” I slap my hand over my face and hide my grinding teeth behind it. “You didn’t look like this when you picked me up at the Old Man’s place. Can you just change back into the other form for a while?”

“I lost my glamour when Mitri had me in his kill room,” he explains calmly. “Don’t take off your shoes around him.”

My hand falls from my face as I stare at him, my expression sliding from helpless curiosity to disbelief to frustration and ending in irritation. “Does everybody around here have a damn ring of fuckery?”

“What kind of ring would that be?” King asks with a sly smile, goading me.

“Be right back,” Ben mutters, kissing the top of my head. I would hate how tall he is if I didn’t enjoy cuddling him so much.

I’m a standard height. For a Human, at least. I shouldn’t have to look up to see so many people. How have I not noticed this before?

He turns towards the sliding door, opens his version of a portal, and walks through, disappearing.

“Voodoo,” Kimi nods once as if he’s just confirmed something to himself .

“He can cross realms,” King notes and stares at where Ben last stood. “How was he imprisoned?”

I don’t want to explain about the collar or the Bowels to King. I don’t trust him with information on how to hamper Ben’s powers. Two, I want to be petty.

“He considered it a vacation,” I deadpan, lips flat with annoyance.

“Was he running away from home?” Mal’s perpetual frown turns into a smirk as he uncrosses his arms.

“I’d be upset at that comment, but honestly? He probably was,” I shrug.

“It was a nice thing you did, adopting him,” Kimi says flatly.

“More like he adopted me,” I frown as I think about it. He’s the one who provided me shelter and food, after all. Snuggles. Positivity. Compassion.

Huh. He seriously did adopt me.

“Lots of pets choose a favorite owner,” King’s smile gets wider.

I point my finger at him threateningly, “You, go back to Puppet Ville, population one, or stop trying to stir shit up.”

“It’s like we’re meeting for the first time,” King places a hand on his chest and widens his eyes in faux surprise.

I cross my arms and frown at him petulantly. Oh no, I’m turning into Mal.

Kimi snaps a picture of me on his phone and slides it into his jacket pocket.

Today, the crazy male is wearing a black hoodie shirt with form-fitting bicycle shorts, white socks pulled up to mid-calf with hot pink tennis shoes, and his jacket over the top.

He’s an off-brand exercise mom. Standing next to Mitri in his usual stuffy suit and tie ensemble is jarring .

I’m about to comment on the outfit when Ben returns and tosses something to Kimi. He catches it on reflex and looks down with no change in his expression.

“A friendship bracelet? Already?” He quickly places it on his wrist, and the silver bangle closes to fit it snuggly. His appearance alters until he’s the blond-haired, aqua-eyed image that first broke into my house and gave me alcohol until I passed out. “Where’s yours?”

“No reciprocation necessary. I give it out of pure love,” Ben deadpans. It would sound more convincing if he wasn’t snarling when he said it.

“Artificer?” I ask in an aside.

“The Hag,” Ben replies.

“Who would want to be called the Hag?” I gasp in dismay with a lip curl.

“The Hag,” King, Mal, and Mitri’s voices blend discordantly.

Others are just messed up in the head, and that’s saying something coming from me. “Does she have a real name?”

King and Mal look at each other and shrug at the same time, uncaring. Mitri simply stares at me.

“Has anyone even asked ?” I grit out with a glare at all of them, including Ben.

No one answers.

“You’re all asshats,” I grumble and approach the coffee machine. There’s a cup already brewing, and the familiar scent of it relaxes my shoulders considerably. I don’t know who’s making this, but it’s mine now.

I open the fridge out of habit to find Ben something to eat. I’m still too nauseous for food after seeing my ‘present’ and freeze.

The entire fridge is barren, a no man’s land of broken dreams. If Ben sees this, he will lose his mind.

I slam the door shut quickly, hoping to hide the evidence, and wince as the empty appliance rocks a bit.

The bell for the oven goes off behind me, and I’m praying that every bit of meat is inside it and already cooked.

I make a mental list of everything I’ll need to buy and wince. This is gonna hurt the wallet for sure.