Page 19 of Bonding Beasts (Bonding: The Ultimate Guide #3)

K i m i

This is so boring! I don’t know if I can fake being asleep for much longer. I have an itch I need to scratch! Plus, I totally called all of this, and no one listened, as usual. Oh wait, I did say it out loud, right? Shit, I can’t remember.

Iris, aka Golden Vagina, is the mastermind behind all the horrible actions in the TGT house. GASP!

Totally called it. I knew she had that Goddess vibe as soon as she showed up.

I warned Mal and King that sexing her up was not the best idea. Deadbeat moms are a thing, too, you know? If I had known that dick in crazy rule earlier, I would have used it on them. The rule, not my dick.

I digress.

The longer she stayed with us, the worse things got and the more suspicions I had. I’m crazy, sure, but I’m not stupid.

I played the waiting game to see when she would get tripped up.

I would have had my AH-HA super detective moment, and everyone would throw me a party.

We could celebrate for a week with confetti and strippers without a care in the world.

I would have even TP’d Mitri without getting shot like the last time.

But no. This cracked-out Goddess clone upped the ante and took over King’s sex-addled brain and did some kind of magic crap with the house, muddying everyone’s thoughts and just generally being a bitch about everything.

Oooh, I bet she’s the one that came up with the give Bae the cold shoulder treatment. I’m almost positively not sure it was her. Either way, when I confess, it will be her fault. She’ll be dead soon, so she won’t be able to argue. Yay!

What is taking so long?! Wake up already! Mitri was sure she would be the first to get up, but they’re all lying down on the job.

I raise my head and look around. The puppy is in the cage next to me, snoring softly, and Mal is on his other side in another.

How come me and Mal are chained up, but the puppy isn’t?

Rude. I mean, mainly dumb, but also rude .

Why are dogs treated better when they piss everywhere and are a pain in the ass?

Mitri is chained to a chair. Huh. I guess they ran out of cages? That’s dumb, too.

Damn, this whole dimension is dumb. Did they give him a necklace? A collar. I guess everyone wants someone to yank around on a chain. Must be a goddess thing.

GV starts cursing because I’m awake. Boohoo. What a whiner. She’s on the phone with someone higher up the food chain than her. Ha! Bootlicker.

Oh! There’s my morally gray villain wifey now, completely unchained, and uncaged.

She’s still sleeping, though. So, how do I wake her?

I can’t cuddle her and give her gentle kisses from this distance, so that’s out.

I kinda have to pretend I can’t get out of this cage and chains for a little longer.

I mean, I don’t have to. I just want to.

GV is going on about that stupid collar and testing if some chemical will work. Trying to suck up by ‘capturing’ us all.

As if.

I hear a male replying to her with mumbled questions over the connection's static. Would it kill him to speak up? Some people are trying to blatantly eavesdrop over here! People are so inconsiderate.

Oh shit, that came through loud and clear. They’re going to kill King? Break the mate bond between him and Mal, making my little cuddle bear easier to control and manipulate?

Uh, hello, pissing off the dragon equals a super bad idea. Do these idiots even realize what he’s capable of?

Probably not. It has been a peaceful century, and King always went on and on about how being mated tamed Mal. Ugh, love makes people even dumber than usual. I guess that’s why he’s mumbling on the phone, so King won’t hear their evil plan.

So they want to keep Mal. They may want to keep Mitri, too. For whatever reason they think is super smart. Which means it’s probably the dumbest smart thing they could think of.

Have I said I hate this place? I know I have, but I think it must be repeated daily. Meh, Mitri will wake up and kill everybody, so no worries.

I really want to see how Bae reacts to all of this.

She was doing a perfect act of being a sweet wifey before she left.

I was managing to follow her train of thought well.

Now that she’s gone cuckoo, everything is up in the air.

This is a brand-new incarnation with many differences that keep me guessing.

I can’t tell if the Goddess is out or not.

This will prove one way or another if she is. She has too much ego to take this kind of insult lying down. After she wakes up, I mean .

I’m betting she’s going to make wholesale slaughter of us all. They knocked her out and are planning… something. Whatever, it's not important.

I won’t let her kill everyone. I can get out faster than that and kill her first.

I don’t want to do that, though. I don’t want to watch my people die or anything. I’ve been with them too long. This is my clowder, my family. Dilemma.

I also get this really sharp pain in my chest when I think about killing sugartits.

I’m too old for indigestion, right? That’s a baby thing.

I’m way too young for a heart attack, too.

I think I’m still in my hundreds. Maybe more?

Whatever, all that matters is that one candle can go on a birthday cake a lot better than hundreds.

Can my kind get heart problems? I need my diary to write all these questions down.

“...have everyone now? What’s the status of the Immortal? He is the… and we need…”

TO STOP MUMBLING! “...are they there as well?”

“I don’t understand why you need them, they’re useless without him,” GV paces in front of me, and I stick my tongue out at her.

King is standing right over Beatrice, staring at her without a single thought going through his empty head.

Man, this is what sex in this dimension leads to. The slow erosion of your mind until you’re a shell of your former self. Duly noted. The dick-in-crazy rule is legit. I need no further evidence. I’m getting it stamped onto my forearm so I never forget it.

“You don’t need to understand, bitch, just do it.”

I have to laugh, so I do. It just bursts out of my chest in absolute delight. Even her evil buddies hate her. How bad do you have to be for that? You get one mindless henchman because you’re so horrible to be around that only the brainless can handle it? Man, this is too good.

I can tell she wants me to shut up, so I mock all of her replies to her questions.

GV gets so mad that she has King gas me.

Damn, stink snake. I have to pretend to sleep again , which is annoying, but I want to be voted best actor for the performance.

I hope Bae wakes up soon. I forgot to scratch that itch!

There’s the sound of a lot of pacing and GV panting because she’s pissed off. King is asking about something, and then silence. The pacing stops, and everything is still until I hear the rustle of someone further out in the room.

She’s awake now! Yes! So exciting! Stuff is happening!

Bea shuffles over to the puppy first, trying to wake him up. Um, I’m right here, wifey, what the fuck? I open my eyes and tilt my head slightly so I can see.

There she is! And this is when she kills us all! Annnnnnnd go !

She continues trying to wake the dog. And she’s actually being nice about it. Petting his hair and saying his name all sweet.

Well, that’s not in the script. Come on, kill everyone.

I watch as she goes to Mal and holds his head up. How come she’s gentle with him? At least he’s somewhat coherent. He doesn’t seem worried that she could snap his neck at all. Dragons and their belief in being indestructible, am I right?

Ok, now she’s going to wake Mitri? What am I, chopped kitty? She should have come to me first! My cage is obviously first in line. She should have followed us in order! That cold shoulder had better start bulking up for all the ice it’s collecting.

Wait, something is wrong.

Ok, GV has her in a kung fu psychic grip. NOW , kill us all.

No.

No, don’t look scared.

Is she crying?

My heart feels like it’s ripping itself apart inside me. Who put a blender in there? It had to be Mitri, only he is that sadistic.

She’s struggling, but she's weak. One hand slapping around to try and stop a force crushing the life out of her. I know she won’t die from this. All of her other incarnations wouldn’t die unless I ripped their hearts out. Believe me, I tried.

Imagine how pissed I was when the ‘getting hit by a bus’ accident failed me. There was also the lawn mower ‘mishap.’ The list goes on. So, this is just a wasted effort. She will pop back up fully healed and annihilate this bitch.

She’s not popping back up.

She’s not healed.

What the fuck?

King hefts her into the air, face to face with her. She isn’t struggling much anymore. My chest writhes in pain now.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. She’s evil. My wife could kill these idiots with a flick of her wrist and laugh over the corpses. But Beatrice just hangs there, barely holding onto consciousness.

Am I… wrong? How could that be? We’re connected, just like all the other times. I found her, like all the other times. She’s having the dreams, remembering. She has power. I’ve witnessed it. Why isn’t she tearing them apart?

Oh good, Mitri is waking up and -

Well, that was rude. He didn’t even get a chance to open his eyes. Damn it, I need him awake to make sense of this!

“Rip her heart out, throw it into Kimi’s cage.”

No.

Not just no but fuck no!

That heart is mine !

I mean, obviously, not to eat or anything. It’s just that he can’t have it in his grubby little claws. When was the last time he washed his hands? He has GV cooties all over him! Germs are the real killers here. That’s my wifey, don’t touch her! I’m not waiting around anymore.