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Chapter eleven

HYACINTH

I sucked a sharp breath through my nose and opened my eyes, rubbing my hands together as I brought them up to the hot air flowing from my lips.

Nithra watched us from the far corner of the field that was covered in a thin layer of frost. Winter had come in the night, turning the world to glass. The ice coating every surface shimmered in the early morning sunlight that was now void of any warmth.

The once mossy hills were now dead and decaying for miles in every direction from where we stood—a symptom of the Death Magic Andrues had been training me to wield. My control of it had gotten better as it was no longer tied to my emotions, and that was a start.

I watched as Andrues laid a dead calf yards away from me. It had been split from its herd and cornered by the wolves that roamed these hills.

It did not survive the ambush.

Andrues refused to take life from any animal in order to teach me how to wield. He’d told me it was a waste of an innocent life for our own selfish needs. So every morning he scoured the hills for the carcasses of animals whose souls had already been sent back to the Gods.

I had never met anyone that cared so deeply for animals and creatures until him. We had spent so much time together these last few months, not only in training, but in Nithra’s stables, away from the noise of the world moving around us.

Her stables had quickly become one of my favorite spots to hide since coming to Locdragoon.

The quiet of them helped calm the relentless static in my head.

I had slipped into the stables one morning after a particularly restless night to find Andrues tucked into the canvas of Nithra’s wing, reading while she slept.

Since then, we had been sitting together in silence a few times a week to clear our minds before returning to the responsibilities our positions demanded of us.

Andrues knelt down beside the calf, pressing his palm to its forehead and whispered the dead language into the crisp morning air. The decaying limbs began to twitch to life. I could see bone where the flesh had been ripped from its body as a green and black aura began to glow around it.

I stared at it in awe.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you do that,” I said, my voice flowing across the field to Andrues.

The corners of his lips turned upward.

“Give it time. Things will begin to impress you less once you hit a century,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at Nithra who was eying the calf.

“You really know how to get a girl excited for immortality,” I deadpanned as he grinned back at me, shaking his head.

“You need to focus,” Andrues responded, lifting a brow and gesturing his head toward the calf.

I let out a long sigh as I turned to face it.

“Will your magic to aim for the chest, try not to harm its body as you remove the life.” His words hummed out slow and steady as I lifted my hands and opened my palms.

Green and black tendrils began to flow from the surface of my hands, coiling around my fingers as it started to inch its way toward the animal.

“Breathe, Hyacinth,” Andrues said quietly as I let out the air I hadn’t realized I was holding in.

My head dipped in response, pulling a deep breath in through my nose then rounding my lips and blowing it out to steady myself. My body swayed, moving in the direction I wanted the magic to go and Andrues clasped his hands on my shoulders to stop me.

“You need to learn to do this with your mind—your will. Your movements will give your plans away in battle if you are leaning into the direction you are aiming.”

“It’s not that simple,” I hissed, trying to focus on the calf as the magic began to flow faster out of me.

The tendrils crept closer to the animal, twisting and writhing like snakes in the air. I could feel the power surging through me, a dark and seductive force that both thrilled and terrified me. I tried to focus my mind, to direct the magic with precision.

Suddenly, the calf let out a plaintive bellow, its reanimated body collapsing and thrashing on the ground. The magic had struck it in the side, tearing through flesh and bone with sickening ease. I groaned, my concentration shattering like glass as the tendrils of magic dissipated into the air.

“Damn it,” I muttered, clenching my fists in frustration.

Andrues sighed, his hands still resting on my shoulders.

“This magic is not a blunt instrument. It requires finesse, control,” he said, his voice calm but firm as he flicked his fingers toward the calf, bringing it back to life.

I nodded, taking another deep breath to steady myself.

Raising my hands again, I focused all of my willpower on the calf’s chest. The magic flowed out of me and this time I kept it tightly leashed.

The tendrils wrapped around the animal’s torso, sinking into its flesh like claws.

I could feel the life force within it, pulsing and struggling against my grip.

With a final surge of effort, I yanked my hands back, pulling the life out of the calf in one swift motion.

The creature fell, its body going limp and still as the green and black aura faded away.

I let out a shaky breath, feeling a rush of exhilaration and nausea all at once.

Andrues squeezed my shoulders, a genuine smile gracing his lips. “Well done. You are making progress.”

I couldn’t shake the unease that settled in the pit of my stomach every time I touched this magic. The power it held was intoxicating, addictive even, but it felt so wrong—a violation of the natural order. I shook the lingering feelings from my limbs as I turned to Andrues.

“So, how well do you think the meeting at Pri’s is going?”

“She will not be happy about the decision.” Andrues shrugged, pulling his jacket up around his neck to block the harsh winds. His brows furrowed. “Did you know she wakes up screaming in the night? Screaming for you— for Ardan .”

My gut wrenched at his words, my heart dropping into the pit of my stomach. I took a deep breath, trying to control the knot forming in my throat. I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what words could possibly describe the ache that my heart felt knowing she was in so much pain.

“I will continue to stay with her, make sure she is not alone,” Andrues said, sensing the heaviness that clung to me.

“Thank you,” I whispered, nodding as I blew a deep breath from my lungs.

I needed to focus.

Tomorrow we would be leaving for Ithia, and I needed to have a clear head.

“What are we going to do, Andrues?” I asked, tucking a curl behind my ear as I glanced toward him. “I’m scared. I’m scared we have already lost this war before it’s even begun.”

“It is not the first time we have fought a war we did not know how to win, yet we are still standing,” Andrues responded as he gently bumped his shoulder against mine in reassurance. “And we have something they do not.”

“What could we possibly have?” The question came out harsher than I intended and I sighed, giving him an apologetic glance as I looked over the open fields.

“You, Hyacinth. We have you.”

I walked up the three steps that led to the doors of Asrai’s small cottage.

The entire home could have fit into her office at the academy, but she loved it.

She didn’t like leaving the students alone at the training camp with how close it sat to Nethkar, so she and Wren had built this tiny cottage in two days, and it was as if nothing had ever made her so happy.

It sat in the very center of the rows of cabins that housed the students.

From her front door you could see the castle looming at the top of the hill and from the back, you could see Nethkar, less than a mile away.

I had always thought, when Nithra and I flew over it, that the layout looked so similar to a spider’s web.

I brushed my knuckles over the wooden door before lightly knocking.

“Come in!” Asrai’s voice rang from the other side and as I pushed the door open heat came flowing toward me.

I froze in the doorway, the shift in temperature making my body tense as Asrai’s head popped out from behind the wall that led to her bed chambers.

“Shut the door, child!” she snapped, stepping fully into view.

She flicked her fingers toward me and the door shut loudly at my back.

“How can I help you, Hyacinth?” She didn’t look up at me as she lowered herself into a chair pushed against a small dining table that only held room for two, her eyes locked on texts and scrolls in front of her.

“Just thought I would stop in before we left tomorrow and make sure you’re okay handling our duties while we are away,” I said, looking around the stone room that doubled as a dining and sitting room.

She was not one for decor, or anything outside of what she needed to survive, and I could see that in the dreary space she called home. My heart tightened at the sight of it. It felt . . . lonely.

Asrai chuckled, pulling her eyes away from parchment in front of her.

“This is not my first time managing a realm, but I do appreciate your concern,” she said with a small smile as she gestured her head to the empty chair across from her. “Sit, let me hear what you have really come here to say.”

I stopped the eye roll that was about to grace my face and made it to the table in three strides, sitting as commanded. No matter what our roles were now, I always felt like a child in her presence.

A fire sat at my back that she used to warm the home and cook. A row of dishes and utensils were neatly organized atop the mantle like a kitchen shelf.

She truly did not need much.

“I’m worried, it’s the first time all of us will be outside of Locdragoon at the same time. What if . . . what if something happens?” I asked, my eyes glued to the papers scattering the table.

“I assure you, Landers would not leave his realm if he believed it was in danger. Elric is captain of his guard for a reason, and I am here to support if needed,” she said, leaning back into her chair and studying me for a long moment.

“Out with it,” she finally scolded and my gaze snapped to hers at the bluntness in her tone.

I let a slow breath seep out between my teeth before responding.

“The Fallen Ones . . . I want to wake them and I don’t understand why Landers is so scared if it can protect us—if they can help us.”

Asrai nodded, as if she already knew what I had been thinking and turned her gaze toward the window that was situated into the back wall that was only a foot from us and looked down at Nethkar.

“He is not wrong to fear them, fear the consequences waking them may bring. But I do not think he fears them as much as he fears what he may have to become to stop them if they do not agree to help us.”

My brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You have heard the name they call him I assume?” she asked, pulling her eyes from the window and focusing her attention back on me.

“Yes—Lord of Death,” I whispered.

“It is not my place to tell his story, but when you are ready to know the truth, ask him. And once you do, ask yourself if you are ready for the possibility that he may have to become that again, to win this war.” Asrai’s voice was low when she said the words, as if it was a warning.

My heart raced in its cage. It was all so vague and cryptic.

I just wanted someone—anyone—for once in my life tell me the full truth without having to beg for it.

My fingers balled to fists in my lap and I pushed my hands under the table to hide the resentment that was beginning to simmer under my skin at all the secrets.

“What about you?” I asked, straightening my shoulders. “What about the name they have given you?”

“Ahh,” Asrai chuckled. “Mother of Bloodshed. It is appropriate, I suppose.”

“Why do they call you that?” I snapped.

“Because I have spilled blood, Hyacinth. Because I have killed tens of thousands in my lifetime and I do not apologize for it. I do not regret the things I have done, because I did them in the name of my realm, my people. There is nothing I would not do to protect you, to protect my homeland and return it to what it once was.” The bite in her tone silenced me, and I watched as she leaned back into her chair and let out a breath.

Quiet fell for only a moment before she spoke again.

“I can promise you, once you see the cruelty of war, there is not much you will not do to keep the people you love alive. When this war comes to an end, rest assured you will wear a name much like my own.”

I recoiled at her words—at the promise of who I would become and a shiver ran down my spine. And though I tried to deny it, I knew she was right. Knew that I would burn the world down before I let anyone take another piece of my heart from me.