Page 10

Chapter eight

ATALIIA

“Ata?” Cin’s voice echoed through my chambers and I recoiled at the softness of it. I snapped my book shut and set it on the table beside me, clearing my throat as she entered the sitting room.

“I hear you’ve had an eventful day,” she started, and I rolled my eyes as a smirk crept across my lips. “I’m sure you’ll be heartbroken to know, but the High Priest has healed nicely,” Cin said as she plopped into the chair across from me and pulled her legs underneath her.

“I really don’t know what Landers expected, putting the two of us alone in a room,” I said, picking at the red polish around my nail beds. I glanced up at her as she shrugged, tucking a curl behind her slanted ear.

“As far as I’m concerned, he deserved it after everything he’s done to you.” Her voice was soft as she said the words, but there was an edge to them. I studied her as she watched the flames lick the inside of the hearth.

She never ceased to amaze me.

Somehow, through everything, she managed to keep her kindness intact. She still kept the softness that I loved so much about her. That’s not to say that she hadn’t come into her own, because she had—she just wasn’t afraid anymore.

Wasn’t afraid of herself or her power.

She wasn’t afraid, and I envied her for that. She was so beautifully brutal and loving. After the way I’d treated her since coming to Locdragoon, there were times I questioned how she stayed so patient with me.

“Ata.” Cin’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I looked over to see her eyes already on me.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, because I can see that you’re not, but, it’s time to let me help shoulder the pain you have locked inside you.

You made me a promise that you wouldn’t hide it from me anymore, and I’m begging you to keep it.

” Her voice started to waver as she said the words, tears filling her eyes.

My stomach knotted as I watched her.

“I can’t lose you. I can’t watch you disappear into nothing,” she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek and I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

My fingers dug into the arm of my chair as I stared at her. I didn’t know what to say that could convey the depth of the emptiness I felt inside.

I wouldn’t put this on her; I didn’t even know what this was.

It was just a hole, a void, that I didn’t know how to mend. And it was growing by the second, eating me alive.

I was the strong one. I was the one that was supposed to pull her out of her grief and tell her it would be okay. Not the other way around.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“I miss him, Ata.” Cin’s voice was barely audible over the crackling of the fire.

I couldn’t meet her eyes. I couldn’t look into the pain I knew was dancing behind the tears I could hear in her voice.

A sob built in my chest and I strangled it as my heart clenched like a fist had clamped around it.

I didn’t just miss Ardan.

No, miss was too surface of a word for what I felt.

I was suffocating without him. I was decomposing slowly, in every way.

I could still feel the weight of his dead body in my arms as I pulled him against my chest. I could still feel the shredding in my throat from screaming his name into the burning sky.

Could still taste his blood on my lips as I kissed his face, begging him to come back to me.

I would never let myself love like that again.

I would rather die.

Cin’s fingers brushed a tear from my cheek and my eyes snapped to hers. I hadn’t realized I was crying, hadn’t seen her kneel on the floor in front of me. I shot to my feet, wiping my eyes and sniffing away the tears as I took a step away from her.

“I need to get to sleep.” The words were harsh as they fell from my lips and I sucked in a sharp breath at the sound of them.

Cin slowly rose from the floor, the sadness in her face deepening as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. Her grey eyes locked on mine and I forced myself not to recoil in shame.

“I love you, Ata. I will always love you. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how far you try to push me. I’m not leaving your side.” Her voice was so full of love as she said the words but somewhere, deep in the veins of them, I could sense fear.

A nod was the only response I could muster as she took one last long look at me before turning to leave the room. I watched as the doors closed behind her and let out a long, shuddered breath.

I had to get it together.

My hands dragged over my face as I fell back into the chair and groaned as I glanced at the clock ticking away on the wall in the silence. It was only nine o’clock and I needed to get out of this room.

I needed to get out of the walls of this castle.

I stood, snatching my jacket off the desk tucked into the corner of the sitting room and strode to the door.

Vathham Street was calling my name.

Nethkar was alive with the hum of energy under the dusk sky. Merchants lined each side of the narrow, cobblestone road of Vatham Street, peddling their goods to villagers as laughter and song spilled from the tavern’s open windows and doors.

The city was Locdragoon’s capital and stood at the base of the hill where the castle stood.

It wasn’t grand by any means, but it was vast, sprawling out for miles in every direction.

Farmers and traders came from all across the realm to sell their goods along its streets.

Anything you could ever need could be found at one of the merchant tables that were set up night after night or the stone shops with straw roofs that lined the twisting city roads.

I was no one here, and that was comforting. Just another person lost to the sea of people that constantly crowded the narrow streets.

I pulled my hood over my head to shield my face as long crimson locks began to trickle over my chest, the blunt ends brushing over the belt of daggers cinched tight around my waist. A smile crept onto my lips as I meandered through the packed street, letting the energy seep into my skin.

I could breathe outside of my own skin, could finally fill my lungs with the oxygen they so desperately craved.

The glitter of gems caught my attention and I stopped at a small table strewn with weapons.

My fingers slid over the surface of them as I plucked up a dagger I knew Cin would love to add to her collection.

Black gems covered the hilt and sparkled against the golden blade that glittered in the dim lighting.

“See something you like, Love?” Dukovich’s voice sounded from behind me, his breath kissing the back of my neck.

“Yes, a new toy to stab you with if you ever call me that again,” I snapped, keeping my eyes glued to the goods on the table in front of me.

A deep chuckle left his lips as I gave the merchant an apologetic smile and set the dagger back on his table.

I would have to come back for it another time, when this demon wasn’t hovering over my shoulder. I turned, taking a few quick steps down the street in an effort to shake him, but his long legs kept a relaxed, steady stride beside me.

“Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary?” I muttered, snaking my way through the crowd.

“You really thought you could put me down with a little puncture wound? You’ll have to do better than that if you want me dead,” Dukovich responded, ducking his head under the colorful awnings of the peddlers booths we passed.

“If I wanted you dead, you would be,” I retorted, turning off the main road into an alleyway that connected Vatham Street to the Coldlight District.

“My, my, wherever are you going? Drathbain Street is no place for a lady.” I could hear the amusement in his voice and I spun toward him.

“Why are you following me?” I hissed.

“Why are you going to the black market?” he challenged, raising a brow.

I was not in the mood to answer any of his questions. “How did you find me?”

“If you are going to shed your skin, love, you really should make sure no one is watching,” he said as a grin spread across his lips.

“I stab you, and you decide it’s a good idea to stalk me? Are you fucking daft?” I snapped, walking the remaining distance of the alley.

Dukovich shrugged, that smile still plastered on his face. “Maybe a little.”

The energy in the air shifted as we stepped onto the lower streets of Nethkar. Dukovich was right, the Coldlight District was no place for a lady.

A smile split my lips. I was no such thing.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I said, pulling my hood further over my face, “I have business to attend to.”

I took a step further into the street and he snatched my arm.

“You are not—”

“Get your fucking hands off me.” It was a snarl that left my mouth as I cut him off.

I didn’t turn back to look at him.

If I did, I would kill him this time. I felt his fingers flex around my bicep for one quick second before his touch was gone and I strode into the sea of people.

I ducked into the crowd, letting my skin shift again in hopes that, this time, he would not be able to find me.

I really needed to hit something , I thought to myself as I made my way down the night-covered street.

I weaved through groups of people clutching tankards as they made their way from brothel to tavern, before stepping into a poorly lit shop just off of Drathbain Street.

A rat scurried between my feet and I jumped back, tightening my fingers around the handle as I recoiled away from it. The door knocked the bell hanging from the ceiling as it opened, alerting the shop keeper of my presence and her voice rang out through the space like a melody.

“Miss Ataliia, I was wonderin’ when I would see ye again.”

I lowered my hood as my eyes searched the cramped space for her.

Herbs hung from the ceiling, swaying softly above the tonics and potions stacked in every corner of the room. Every surface was covered with items that I didn’t recognize. Steam hung in the air, the sound of boiling water filling my ears and heating the area.

Finally, I spotted her, crouched over a large cauldron behind the shop’s glass countertop, slowly dropping in what looked to be the innards of a small animal.

She let the last of the bloody organs slip from her hand and the boiling came to a pause, the contents turning into a liquid that resembled melted silver.

She stood, licking her fingers as she turned to face me and the sight of her tongue lapping up the blood made my stomach lurch.

She wiped her hands on the black apron tied around her waist before unfastening it and tossing it across the shop.

She stepped over a few parcels strewn across the ground, hay and glass vials spilling out of them across the floor.

Her eyes met mine and her lips split into the most beautifully haunting smile.

A shudder skidded down my spine.

She was blind, her eyes white and cloudy as if magic swirled inside of them, but she always knew who I was when I walked into her shop, always knew it was me no matter the skin I wore.

Her dark brown skin was radiant against the velvet purple dress that hugged every curve of her body and somehow I was never prepared for just how mesmerizing she was.

“Are ye back for more Valarian root?” she asked as she pulled on the string holding her hair on top of her head. A mixture of snow white curls, dreadlocks, and braids cascaded down her back and over her chest as she removed the tie, the ends brushing against her hips.

I smiled as I stepped up to the counter.

“Actually, I was hoping this time to find some kind of sleeping drought that could stop a person from dreaming.” I tapped my fingers against the glass counter as her brows furrowed.

“Ta stop a dream is ta close ze minds eye.” I rolled my eyes in her direction and her finger shot up and pointed at me. I jumped back at her quick movement as her finger shook in my direction.

“I may not ‘ave me sight, but I see ye clearly, girl.” The words were sharp as they left her lips.

What the fuck does that even mean?

She lowered her finger slowly as a quiet chuckle escaped her throat and she began digging through boxes stacked on the shelves behind the counter.

I leaned my elbows on the glass, studying the rabbit’s feet and petrified bat wings inside the casing as I cleared my throat.

“Can I ask you a question, Madam Shath?”

“D’na call me zat. I ‘ave told ye a million times, Madam Shath is me mother, n’ ze old ‘ag refuses to die.” I smiled to myself at her words, the bluntness of them.

That’s what I liked about her, there wasn’t a moment spent in her presence that wasn’t honest.

“Okay, Yenne . How do you know it’s me when I come into your shop before I’ve even spoken?” Aren’t you . . . blind?” I asked, blowing hot air onto the glass in front of me and sliding my finger through it.

She tapped two fingers on her forehead and then ran them to the tip of her nose and tapped it twice.

“Sight issa ‘indrance ta what truly lies in front of us.”

I stifled another eye roll, almost nothing she said made sense.

“Now, get ye grimy ‘ands off me glass,” Yenne snapped, dropping a wooden box in front of me as I pulled my fingers away just in time. “Zis potion is going ta cost ye. Ze ingredients are pricey n’ me fee goes up for magic I d’na like.”

“How much?” I asked, studying the contents of the box.

“Six ‘undred coin.”

My eyes darted from the box to her. “Six hundred coin? That is absurd.”

“I told ye, zere issa price for closing ze minds eye.” She reached out and flicked my forehead and I swatted her hand away, rubbing the skin her fingers had connected with.

“How long will it take to make?”

“S’pose I could ‘ave it done before ‘morrows moon.”

I nodded, pulling my hood back over my head. “Thank you, I’ll be back. In the meantime, I will take a dose of Valerian root for the night.”

Yenne swiped her hand over the glass and a perfectly wrapped package the size of a small stone appeared underneath it. She picked it up and held it out to me with a smile.

“I knew ye would’na leave without it,” she said as I plucked it from her hand, shoving it into the pocket of my jacket.

I dropped the coins into her palm that was still outstretched.

“Zere issa man waitin’ for ye outside,” Yenne stated as I turned to leave. I groaned, dragging a hand over my face.

“And you know this, how?” I asked, turning back to look at her and scanning for any alternate exits.

She grinned back at me, saying nothing as she tapped her forehead twice and flicked her fingers toward the door and opened it on a phantom wind.