Page 22 of Blood and Penance (The Puglisi Crime Family #1)
Chapter Twenty-One
Gianni
It felt amazing to get the truth out there.
It was like years of pressure to keep this a secret, lifted from my shoulders.
I never believed I would ever get the chance to tell Phoenix the truth of why I walked away, but it feels good to get it out there.
I’d fought for us to be together for so long.
Her or her family being in danger was the only reason I would ever give her up.
“I wish I would have fought for us,” she says with sadness in her eyes. “I gave up on you.”
I pull her into my arms, and an electric current sparks between us as my body reacts to her touch and smell.
“I don’t blame you, Phoenix,” I say, as I push my desire down.
Now isn’t the time to act on what I’m feeling.
“You were hurt, and that was the point. We couldn’t have any more contact with each other, and I needed to hurt you to where you would hate me. And it worked.”
“I understand that, but you never gave up on me or our entire relationship, even when it would have been much easier for you if you had. And all it took for me to walk away and not fight for what we had was a lie.”
She shakes her head like she’s disappointed in herself. But I didn’t tell her the truth to get myself off the hook for the decision I made. It’s just time for us to move past that part of our lives. And we can’t do that if the whole truth isn’t out there.
“It’s time to look toward the future, Phoenix and let go of the past.”
“And what does the future hold for us, Gianni?”
A sad smile crosses her face. I can practically read her mind. Her unspoken question hangs heavily in the air between us.
How do we move forward when you’re a priest?
However, before I can answer, someone knocks on the door. Maybe the interruption is a good thing because I haven’t completely come to terms with my decision.
Phoenix stiffens beside. “Are you expecting anyone?”
I shake my head. “No.” I rise from the couch. “It could be anyone. Go to the bedroom and keep the door locked.”
With my father and Lio D’Amico lurking around we have to make sure no one knows she’s here. We also have to figure out how to get out of here without alerting any of them.
She nods, then hurries back to my room while I walk to the door. When I hear the bedroom door close and the lock click into place, I open the front door expecting to see one of the sisters.
“Father Giraldi?”
I haven’t talked to him since my mother’s funeral. And when I needed to talk, I always went to him. He never comes looking for me.
“What a pleasant surprise.” I step aside, so he can come in. Once he enters, I close the door behind him. “What are you doing here?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Imagine my surprise when I received a call from Bishop O’Neil this morning, letting me know of your request. I would think you would come to me for council before you made such a drastic decision.”
I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose. I should have known my request for a leave of absence wouldn’t take long to get around the Church. The clergy are worse gossipers than old women during Mass.
“Which is something he shouldn’t have told anyone about,” I say, defensively.
“I know this has something to do with that woman who has haunted you for years,” he says with so much venom in his voice I have to take a step back. “What are you thinking! She’s been nothing but a plague on your soul, Gianni!”
“You don’t know anything about her.”
“I know enough. She’s leading you back into the world, Gianni. You have to fight it. You are damning your soul to eternal fire, for a woman.”
“I’m protecting my family,” I say as calm as I can.
“She’s not your family. She’s nothing but a hinderance to your salvation. All it takes is her to show you a little bit of attention and you've already turned your back on God.”
“Listen, Father. I appreciate your concern for my soul, but there are things going on that I can’t discuss, but this is the right thing for me to do. You have to trust I know what’s best for me.”
“I don’t want you to give into temptation, Gianni. This woman has a hold on you that you can’t seem to break. You’re a priest, act like one.”
He doesn’t know how right he is. And at this point I’m not sure if I care anymore about being tempted by her. I feel complete with her. I haven’t felt that in a long time. Also knowing I have a son with the woman I love, I don’t see it as temptation but fate.
God has sent her back to me.
“Once again, I understand your concern, Father Giraldi. But this is my life. This is my walk with God, no one else’s, including you.”
He looks at me for a moment and I can see the disapproval all over his face. But I don’t care if approves or not. I’m a grown man and this is the right decision for me and my family.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” he says with disappointment in his eyes and lacing his voice.
“I do, even if you don’t believe me. I have to do what’s right for my family.”
He sighs again. “Bishop O’Neill has granted your leave of absence, but he still expects your letter within the next few days.”
I can’t explain the amount of relief that moves through my system.
“When will you leave?” he asks.
“As soon as possible."
Before he can respond, Phoenix rushes into the room and my heart thunders in my chest. “What’s wrong?” I ask, ignoring the look of disgust on Father Giraldi’s face when he sees her.
I’ve already told him everything he needs to know, so I don’t need to explain anything else.
“Seraphina’s not answering.” Her breathing is labored like she’s on the verge of having a panic attack. “I’ve called her over and over again, Gianni. She’s not answering.”
The frantic sound of her voice only causes my anxiety to rise. “Maybe she’s in the shower.” I say, trying to give her and me some type of reassurance even if I don’t believe the words I’m saying either.
She shakes her head as tears stream down her cheeks. “She always answers, Gianni. No matter what. Something’s wrong. I know it.”
“Okay. It’s going to be alright.” She collapses into my arms, her body convulsing with silent sobs. “Let me call, Lorenzo. We’ll need his help.”