Page 14 of Blood and Penance (The Puglisi Crime Family #1)

Chapter Thirteen

Gianni

Giancarlo.

“I have a son.”

A wave of disbelief washes over me. Icy dread and anger settles in my gut as I replay all the lost moments with my son over in my mind. The birthdays, him crawling and walking for the first time. His first words. Him calling me Papa.

I’ve missed all of it.

“I’m sorry, Gianni. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“You’re sorry?”

A harsh, guttural laugh escapes me. A sound as dry and brittle that I would have never believed would ever be aimed at the woman I love as I glare at her.

Though she’s undeniably my world, and always will be, the pain of what she’s done makes it impossible to see her in that way right now.

In this moment she’s a painful reminder of what I’ve lost. She kept my son from me.

“You're not sorry. You didn’t want me to find out at all, Phoenix. If you did, you would have told me as soon as you found out you were pregnant.”

“And when was I supposed to tell you, Gianni?” She looks at me like I’m stupid for even making the comment, but she could have come to me.

She knows that I would have done everything in my power to be in my child's life.

And things would be different now if she had.

“Did you forget that you broke things off with me! What was I supposed to do?”

I glare at her. “That’s no excuse, Phoenix!” I pick up the closest thing to me and throw the glass statue of Christ. It shatters against the wall on impact just like my heart. I’ve lost so much time with him. “He’s my son!”

“And he’s my son!” She slams her palm against her chest. “Don’t you sit on your fucking high horse and act like this is all on me, Gianni Puglisi, priest or not!

You told me you were tired of fighting for us after claiming that you would be with me forever.

So, tell me, Gianni. Should I have come back to the man who treated me like a piece of shit and say oh I’m pregnant!

Begged you to take us back! Get the fuck out of here you self-righteous asshole! ”

“Self-righteous asshole? I did it for you! All you had to do was come and tell me! You know I would have done anything for you and my child, Phoenix! You know me!”

“And how would I have known that, Gianni?” She sighs, tears filling her eyes. “You didn’t do anything for me, except walk away. So, I picked up the pieces the best I could and took care of my son.”

“Our son! He’s ours!”

She takes a deep breath then releases it. “I know he is, Gianni.”

The silence between us is deafening. What could have been if I hadn’t walked away?

She is right. I’m the one who ended things, because I had to.

Not because I wanted to. I can’t place all the blame on her.

She probably felt like she couldn’t come to me.

And she was right. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with her or a child after we split.

But I would have tried. For her and for him.

I would have gotten my shit together because they are my family.

I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. I wish I had a drink right now to calm my anger and my disappointment in her and all I’ve missed with my son.

“How is he?” I ask, pinning her with my stare and pushing the urge to drink away.

I’ll have to call my sponsor and make sure I don’t miss my meeting this week.

This situation has my emotions all over the place, and that’s never a good thing for a recovering alcoholic. Sobriety is a daily commitment.

A gorgeous smile crosses her face. A smile I haven’t seen in years. “He’s wonderful. He’s going to be so happy to meet you.”

I smile at that. Despite how things are between me and his mother, I’m so happy he’s alright. I don’t know him, but I already love him with everything that’s in me, and I can’t wait to meet him.

Before I can ask any more questions about him, a knock sounds at the door. I look at the clock sitting on the mantle over the fireplace. It’s almost nine o’clock. Unless there’s an emergency, no one bothers me at this hour.

“Are you expecting someone?” Phoenix asks.

I shake my head, and panic enters her eyes. “Go to my bedroom. Straight down the hall, room at the very end. Lock the door and do not come out unless it’s me.”

She nods then rushes down the short hallway. Once I hear the lock click into place, I walk to the front door of the rectory. It used to have beautiful stained glass paneling in it, but my paranoia from my previous life caused me to have it removed for something more secure.

When I look through the peephole, my shoulders sag just a little.

I pull the door open. “Sister Lolita. How may I help you?”

Sister Lolita just arrived at this parish a few months ago. She’s young, maybe in her mid to late twenties, and she has been eager to learn her position amongst the other nuns.

Her pale skin flushes a deep pink. She’s also very shy. "I thought I heard shouting. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. Just having a spirited conversation with one of my brothers. Is that all?"

“No, Father. I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s someone here to see you.”

“At this time of night?”

“Yes, Father. He said that the matter is urgent, and he will not leave until he has spoken to you.”

I don’t like this. I do get parishioners who come into the church at late hours sometimes and remain in the sanctuary because the doors are always open. However, none of them will ask for me unless there’s a call for last rites.

“Did he give his name?”

“No, Father.”

“Hmm… okay. Thank you, Sister Lolita. Take him to my office. I’ll be right there.”

When I smile at her, she nods, then walks aways as I close the door. I head back to my bedroom and knock on the door when I reach it. “It’s me.”

I hear her footsteps move across the hardwood floors as she approaches the door. It inches open and panic is burning in her eyes. “There’s a visitor. I have no idea who it is. So, I want you to stay here until I come back.”

She’s already shaking her head before I can even finish my sentence. “I have to go home, Gianni. I don’t like being away from Giancarlo too long especially at night.”

“Please, Phoenix. I need to ask you some more question and make arrangements to meet him.”

There’s no way I’m going another day without seeing my son.

I’ve already been away from him far too long.

I also don’t want to alarm her about this visitor either.

If she thinks it’s something out of the ordinary, she’ll be in the wind.

I want to have a relationship with my son, and if she disappears, I’ll never get the chance.

She nods, “Thirty minutes. That’s all the time I can give you.”

“I love you,” I say without even thinking then kissing her lips. It had been the most natural thing to do, but the weight of my actions crashes down on me. I instantly understand what I’ve done.

I practically leap away from her, my eyes wide with embarrassment and my heart pounding against my chest with something I’ve been trying to fight for so long—desire. “I’m so sorry, Phoenix. Please forgive me.”

Her beautiful, soft skin flushes as she waves me off. “It was just muscle memory, Gianni. It’s nothing. Please handle your visitor, and we’ll talk when you get back.”

She steps back inside the room, then closes the door, and when the lock clicks back into place, I let out a breath of relief.

Dealing with her will be difficult because our relationship will be drastically different from what we once had.

We have a child together and she will always be in my life now.

How am I going to handle that?

When I reach the front door of my office inside the parish, I take a deep breath and release it before pushing the door open. I’m met with three sets of eyes glaring at me, raising my hackles.

I hope this isn’t who I think it is.

“Gentlemen, I’m Father Puglisi. How may I help you?” I ask as calmly as I can.

“You don’t look like I thought you would,” he says with anger in his voice.

The man sitting in the chair in front of my desk looks me up and down with a scowl on his face.

His voice grates on my nerves, and I don’t like the way he looks at me, but I school my features.

I can’t react the way I used to. I’ve killed men for less.

Disrespect is something the old Gianni would have never tolerated.

He should thank the Almighty I’m no longer that man.

He’s Italian with a hint of an accent, but I can tell from just those few words that his first language is English. I have family members who were born in the States and moved to Italy who speak just like him.

“Excuse me?” I ask, sitting behind my desk. “Do I know you?”

“No, but you do know my wife. I’m looking for her and my son.”

I lace my fingers together on top of the desk to keep from reacting to his statement. Even though Phoenix is his wife, Giancarlo is my son, not his. He’s just trying to goad me into reacting to his claim on both of them.

I won’t do it. That will put her and Giancarlo in danger if he knows that she came to see me.

“And who is your wife, Mr. …”

“D’Amico. Lio D’Amico.” He brushes his hand down his tie. “You may have heard of me.”

“Hmmm, I’m sorry. I can’t say that I have. And who is your wife?”

Anger fills his eyes. “My wife is Phoenix. Phoenix D’Amico. Phoenix Blaine as you would know her.”

“My ex-girlfriend?” I lean back in my chair, raising my eyebrow. “I haven’t seen Phoenix since I broke things off with her years ago. As you can see, my life went in another direction.” I point to my collar. “How is she?”

He just stares at me like he’s trying to read my body language.

While I’m a priest, I will always be a Puglisi.

His mistake is not knowing or not recognizing the fact that I’ve grown up in the same world he’s a part of.

I know how to hide my tells. He will never know if I’m lying or telling the truth no matter how hard he glares at me.

That will not intimidate me into me telling him anything.

“I don’t believe one fucking word out of your mouth, priest,” he sneers as he stands. “Let my wife know, I won’t leave a stone unturned until I find her. And if the Puglisi’s want a war with the De Maio’s they’ve got it.”

He storms out of my office along with the two men.

I let out a breath and close my eyes.

“This is going to be a problem.”