Page 21 of Blood and Penance (The Puglisi Crime Family #1)

Chapter Twenty

Phoenix

What did he mean he’s the reason I’m not in Gianni’s life now?

As soon as the door slams and I know Giovanni is gone for sure, I let out a relieved breath.

I heard everything. If Giovanni knows I’m here, it would do more harm than good.

I have no doubt he would use force to make me take him to see Giancarlo.

So, I waited until he left. Now that I know for sure he’s coming after my son, I can’t waste any more time. I’m not staying here another night.

“You can come out now,” Gianni says, sighing.

He sounds so stressed, his voice cracking under the weight of everything, and though I hate that I’ve unloaded my problems onto him, I have no other choice. No matter the connection we still share with one another, this is to save our son.

“What did he do?”

He sat down on the couch. “Come sit.” He motions for me to sit next to him. “We have some things to discuss.”

A heavy silence hangs in the air as I move toward him that’s punctuated only by the worried frown etched onto his face.

This is going to be a hard conversation.

I can’t say I’m not curious to know what his father meant.

But I also can’t say I’m not scared to hear his confession.

For better or worse, whatever happened changed the course of both our lives.

He became a priest, and I became a single mother until Lio.

Then my life became ten times worse than I could have ever imagined.

Giovanni has always tried to control Gianni’s life just like he’s trying to control it now through our son. I don’t know what Giovanni has done, but whatever it is, he accomplished what he wanted. I’m no longer in Gianni’s life.

“How much did you hear?” he asks when I take a seat next to him.

He takes my hand, his fingers intertwining with mine, and a familiar warmth spreads through me.

It reminds me of the old days, his hand warm in mine, a comforting presence whenever we were together.

With Gianni, it was always the small, thoughtful gestures—a hand squeeze, a knowing glance, all of those things made me love him even more.

“I heard everything. What was he talking about?”

He let out a deep sigh. “You know how much I wanted to propose to you that night in Belize, right?”

I know that week had been magical, and I hoped he was going to ask me to be his wife. But when he placed that ring on the coffee table, and walked out on me, all I thought I knew about him and our relationship shattered.

“I believed you then, but then you walked out. What happened? And tell me the truth, Gianni.”

“I had it all planned out,” he says his eyes full of anger. “Somehow, he got wind of my plan.”

“Sergio,” I mumble. “He’s always been a kiss ass when it comes to your father.”

If there’s anyone in this world I hate more than Lio and Giovanni, it’s Sergio Puglisi.

He’s just as heartless as his father, and because of that he believes he deserves to head the Puglisi family.

When we were together, Gianni never cared about leading the family, but Sergio hated him anyway.

He did anything Giovanni wanted him to do without question.

“More than likely,” he says. “But I’m not sure because my father always had his spies. Anyway, Lorenzo got in touch with me that day to let me know that Giovanni made it clear that if I didn’t break things off for good, he would have your mother and Seraphina killed.”

The air rushes out of my lungs. All this time, I thought he just gave up on us because it had always been a struggle for us to be together.

We fought to be in each other’s lives. And when we split, for a time, I hated him for what he had done to us.

Cursed him for walking away from what we worked so hard to have and leaving me to raise our son alone.

Now I understand. He was protecting me the only way he knew how.

“I couldn’t let that happen, Phoenix. If something happened to your mother and sister, you would have blamed me. And I didn’t want to have this love we shared crushed by the weight of that. You would have hated me.”

“He forced you to walk away by threatening my mother and sister?” I repeat in disbelief even though I know I heard him correctly.

“Yes.” He pulls me into his embrace. “I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me. But it was necessary to keep everyone safe.”

A burning, white-hot rage, hotter than any fire, courses through me. Because of Giovanni Puglisi’s overwhelming need to control his son, I lost the love of my life, and my son lost his father—so much time none of us can ever get back.

I wish he was dead.

“I should have known something was wrong,” I say, shaking my head in disappointment.

I’m so disappointed in myself that I didn’t fight harder for us.

I just let him walk away without even fighting to stay together.

“Deep in my heart I knew the words you were saying weren’t true, but I couldn’t look past the hurt I was feeling. ”

“I would have never willingly walked away from you, Phoenix.” Tears filled his eyes.

“And if I knew you were pregnant, everything would have changed. I would have figured something out, but at the time, I didn’t see any other option.

I had to walk away, or it would have cost you everything. I couldn’t let that happen.”

My heart swells inside my chest. When my mother was alive, she loved Gianni.

She always thought of him as the son she never had and when he walked out of my life he also walked out of hers.

She had been just as heartbroken and missed him so much.

Even as cancer ate away at her, she always wondered how he was doing.

If he was taking care of himself. She always believed his father had something to do with our breakup, but I had so much anger and hurt, it was hard for me to see past those feeling to see the truth in her words. Now, I wished I would have listened.

“When he threatened your life, your mother’s, and sister’s, I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t let that happen. So, I made the decision that ripped my heart out of my chest. Never doubt my love for you, Phoenix. Even as a priest, my love still burns for you.”

I cup his face in my hand, his skin warm against my palm, and gaze into his dark eyes.

“You kept me and my family safe.” A smile touched my lips even though my heart aches for what we once had and were forced to give up.

“You’ve always put me first, even when I didn’t know it.

Even now you’re putting me and Giancarlo first.”

“This collar around my neck doesn't matter, you and my son are my family. I’ll do anything I have to do to keep you both safe.”