Page 16 of Blood and Penance (The Puglisi Crime Family #1)

Chapter Fifteen

Gianni

“You’ll stay here tonight.” It’s the most logical plan now that we know for sure Lio D’Amico is in the States looking for her. It won’t be safe for her to leave. At least, not tonight. “I’ll take the couch, and you can have the bedroom. I need to make some calls and take a leave of absence.”

“I can’t stay here, Gianni.”

I thought we were on the same page, but the panic in her voice is unnerving. However, it’s the only way I can make sure they’re safe. If she leaves, they will both be in danger. At least right now Lio doesn't know where Giancarlo is.

My brows dip in confusion as her comment breaks through my thoughts. “Why? He’s not going to attack the parish, Phoenix.”

I try to give her some reassurance. Lio D’Amico is not a stupid man.

If he was, he wouldn’t be as high up in the Camorra as he is.

He’ll be methodical in his planning. He’ll snatch her or Giancarlo when we least expect it.

That’s why I think it’s best she stays here tonight, so we can come up with a proper plan.

“That’ll draw too much attention to him,” I continue. “You’ll be safer here. Giancarlo will be safer wherever he's at.”

She doesn’t answer my question but after a few moments my features soften as understanding dawns on me. My fingers, calloused yet gentle, trace the curve of her cheek, and she closes her eyes, melting into my touch.

“It won’t be easy for me either, amore mio . But it’s necessary to keep our son safe. You can’t leave.”

I understand her hesitation. I’ve got the same reluctance with her being under the same roof as me.

It’ll be hard being this close to her without it dredging up memories that are way too inappropriate for a priest. The way she smells.

The way her body writhes under me when I fuck her or the way my hand fits so perfectly around her slender neck when I push her over the edge as she whispers my name like a prayer when she comes.

Although she doesn’t know it, I battle all those memories of her every day.

The permanent stripes on my back are my penance for when my thoughts and dreams have strayed to places they have no business going as a priest, and the cock cage that digs into my sensitive skin even now is also a testament to my will power being weak when it comes to her.

However, I would rather deal with the temptations of the flesh than her leave and lead Lio to Giancarlo. I’ve made a vow to God, but I’m not sure I can live up to that vow if anyone hurts her or my son. The Gianni of old will surface and no one, not even God will be able to stop me.

When she opens her eyes, my heart clenches inside my chest. The war raging in them no doubt mirrors the war brewing in mine.

This is and will be the only woman I’ll ever love.

And now she’s off limits, untouchable because of the vow I’ve made to God.

And this is the first time in a long time I’ve had the thought of how the God I serve can be so cruel.

“Okay. I’ll stay, but I need to call, Sera.”

I let out a relieved breath. I don’t know what I would have done to get her to agree but if it took me tying her to my bed, that’s what I would have done to keep her here, at least for the night.

“I need to make sure Giancarlo is alright and update her on what’s happening.”

I haven’t seen Seraphina in years. While I’ve struggled with the decision, I made all those years ago, knowing Phoenix has her little sister in her life as well as Giancarlo, some of the anger and regret dissipates. At least they still have each other.

“Do you have security at your home?” I ask.

“Yes. I’ve hired a few guys, but I don’t know if it’s going to be enough.”

“Okay. I’ll get in touch with Lorenzo. He can help me on that end.”

She’s shaking her head. “I don’t want to depend on the Puglisi’s any more than I already am. Your father will believe I owe him something. He's already demanding to see him, I don't need to give him any more reason to come after Giancarlo.”

She’s right but the connections I had back then I don’t have now. And if I call and ask for any favors, they will believe that it’s coming from the Puglisi’s not me.

“Can I speak to him?” I ask, hopeful that she’ll give me this opportunity. “Does he know anything about me?”

I don’t know how much she’s told Giancarlo about me or about my family. However, I hope Giancarlo knows something about me. And more importantly that he knows I didn’t leave him on purpose. If I had known he existed, he would have been a part of my life. I would have made sure of it.

The smile that crosses her face hits me square in the gut.

I’ll be so grateful if she gives me this chance.

Am I still pissed she didn’t tell me about him?

I am. But I have to trust that God had a better plan for me and at the time having a child hadn’t been the best option.

Now things are different. I need the chance to have a relationship with him.

I just need him to know he’s loved by me even if I haven’t been around.

“Sure, if he’s awake.”

We sit on the edge of the bed, and she pulls her phone out of her pocket, puts it on speaker, then dials Seraphina’s number.

“Thank God,” Seraphina says as soon as she picks up. “Where the hell have you been, Phee? I've been worried sick. Did you talk to Gianni? What did he say? Is he going to help? We can’t do this by ourselves.”

Seraphina bombards Phoenix with question after question, causing me to smile.

While this isn’t a laughing situation it reminds me so much of the time when Phoenix and I were together.

Seraphina has never been a patient person and wants answers to her questions at once.

I didn’t know how much I’ve missed her too until now.

“If you give me a minute to breathe, I’ll answer all your questions,” Phoenix says, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Seraphina releases a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried.”

“I know. First of all, I’m fine and I did talk to Gianni.”

“Alright. That's a good thing, right?” she asks, and I can hear the relief in her voice. “What did he say? Is he going to help?”

“Yes, I’m going to do everything I can,” I say, and Phoenix looks at me with a tired smile.

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear your voice, Gianni,” Seraphina says. “And she told you everything?”

“Sera,” Phoenix groans.

“What?” Seraphina asks, innocently.

“Yes, he knows,” Phoenix says.

I chuckle and squeeze Phoenix’s thigh. “She’s told me everything.”

“We have some things to go over with you,” Phoenix says. “But first, is Giancarlo awake?”

“He is. Giancarlo! Mama wants to talk to you!” Seraphina shouts.

I look over at her as my heart races inside my chest. I can’t believe I’m about to talk to my son.

God, I thank you.