Page 2 of Big Daddy to Go

The worst part is that just about everyone I know loves Jason—simply because to them, he is a gorgeous millionaire. They think I’d be a fool to let him go. Our pairing is like Lady and the Tramp, with him as the gorgeous, rich Lady, and me as the everyday, ordinary Tramp.

As I snap out of the memory, the reality hits me that I’m marrying a man who always puts me down and pushes me away. Jason always needs space and hates public displays of affection. Actually, he hates affection, period. I try to respect his boundaries, but I crave warmth and intimacy and pleasure that Jason doesn’t provide for me.

I often think of getting a dog just so I’ll have someone to cuddle with, but Jason hates animals.

An overwhelming gloom overcomes me as I realize the missing feeling isn’t a piece of jewelry. It isn’t an imperfect updo, nor the wrong color of flowers. I’m about to spend the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t want me to touch him unless we’re having sex. And even that is routine, as Jason barely touches me or kisses me, or evenlooksat me, to be frank. I can’t even remember the last time Jason saw me naked, since he usually like to get started in a pitch-black room with the covers pulled up over our heads. Plus, when was the last time he gave me an orgasm? Has heevergiven me an orgasm? It’s hard to remember, seeing that I usually finish myself off in the bathroom.

Oh God, what kind of mistake am I making?

It’s not like I can back out now, though! There are three-hundred people waiting to see me become Mrs. Jason Peckham. Shit, this isn’t happening. Maybe it all seems worse in my head because I’m nervous.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Mom asks as I start to hyperventilate.

I nod.

“Yeah, a little case of cold feet, I guess.”

Renee laughs.

“Seriously? Like Briana said, you’re lucky to have Jason. Not many girls like you get a chance like this.”

I ignore Mom’s comment. Girls “like me”? What kind of girl is that? Ugly? Thick? Middle class? In New York, it often feels like there is no middle class. You’re either wealthy or struggling. Even with a good salary, the expenses of city living are ludicrous.

Yet another cousin chimes in to sing my fiancé’s praises.

“Jason is the best! Once you see his gorgeous face standing at the altar, all of your nerves will disappear,” Heather smiles reassuringly.

It’s no secret that all the women—and even a couple of the men—in my life find Jason Peckham hot. I can’t blame them because heisdamn good-looking, and of course, being loaded makes him even more appealing. He’s a real Mr. Big.

I shake my head. I must be crazy to question my decision to marry a wealthy heartthrob. This must be cold feet. I’m sure of it because I love Jason… right?

Right,I insist to the part of myself that’s arguing. I’m not giving myself another option. Not now. Not in this beautiful dress that makes me feel like a princess. And not in front of my family and friends, and certainly not in front of the Peckham’s Upper East Side social set.

“It’s time to head over to the church,” Melanie, my maid of honor, announces. “The limo is here.”

The photographer takes a few more shots of us before we head out of my mother’s brownstone. Once we sit down in the limo and are on our way to the church, Melanie gives my hand a squeeze.

“Lexi, you make a beautiful bride.”

I smile at my best friend and squeeze her hand. This girl knows me too well and shoots me a smile.

“You’re going to be okay,” she assures me.

I nod.

“I just need to see Jason’s face. I’m sure my nerves will settle down then.”

“We all would like to see Jason’s face,” Briana giggles.

I chuckle along, even though I don’t want to. I find it somewhat disgusting that my family makes such inappropriate comments about the man I’m marrying.

After all, Briana is only seventeen, but she is quite the flirt. My stomach flips thinking about last Christmas Eve. Jason had too much to drink, and Briana had been standing under the mistletoe. He claimed he’d meant to kiss her on the cheek and that Briana had turned her head unexpectedly. All I know is, I walked into the living room and saw them lip to lip.

WTF?

I had been so pissed that I tried to break up with Jason the next day, but he’d sweettalked me by revealing his Christmas present to me—an engagement ring. Of course, I melted and accepted, even if there were still doubts in the back of my mind. He shouldn’t have agreed to kiss Briana in the first place, mistletoe or no mistletoe.

“Hello! Earth to Lexi!” Heather calls, snapping me back into the present moment.