Page 60 of Best Supporting Actor

“Yeah.” Exhaling softly, Jay threaded his fingers between Tag’s. “It is.”

Standing there, looking out across the light-bejewelled river, Jay had a stark vision of himself as a regretful old man like Sassoon.

What risks might he wish he’d taken? What paths might he wish he’d walked?

What rules might he wish he’d broken?

Then Tag gently squeezed his hand and let him go. As his hand fell back to his side, Jay’s heart tripped and skipped in answer to his silent questions.

This one. This one. This one.

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

Tag

For the next few days, Tag’s mind was entirely taken up with three things: the progress they were making on the play, his mounting excitement and anxiety aboutBow Streetairing on Thursday… and how things were developing between himself and Jay.

Given that the first two of these three things had the potential to transform his life professionally, it was insane that the third thing was taking up any of his headspace at all, but the truth was, it was taking up just as much of his attention.

Maybe more, if he was honest.

When he’d first come to York, Tag had known that his history with Jay meant there would be bear traps ahead. After all, they hadn’t ever officially made peace over their past bickering—all those months of sniping at one another and using poor Mason’s social media likes as proxy trophies in their feud. And then there was the unfading memory of the awards dinner, when Tag had both acknowledged and given into his attraction to Jay. That too remained unaddressed and unresolved.

Yet somehow, he and Jay had slowly bonded, despite their prickly start. Jay, without really trying, just by being himself, had won Tag over. In the rehearsal room, his professional generosity and humility had surprised Tag, and not only in terms of how he interacted with Tag himself. He’d been incredibly patient and kind with Rafe too, going out of his way to give him helpful advice and making sure he got plenty of opportunities to rehearse alongside Jay and Tag. One by one, Tag’s prejudices about Jay had been punctured by his humour, his modesty, his thoughtfulness. Tag had come to York determined they would find a way to work together, but he hadn’t expected it to be so easy. Hadn’t expected tolikeJay as much as he did.

One thing he had expected, though, was to still be attracted to Jay—and that expectation had certainly been met. The attraction wasn’t just there, it was even more intense, amplified now by their constant proximity. Tag felt like he spent most of his time in the riverside apartment trying to ignore or hide an erection.

So yes, Jay was proving to be a major distraction from the other things playing on Tag’s mind.

That said, by the time Thursday actually rolled around, itwasthe airing ofBow Streetthat was dominating his thoughts. He was useless in rehearsals all that day, preoccupied and inattentive, his mind constantly wandering. It occurred to him, eventually, that Jay must have told the others aboutBow Street, because Henry was being more forbearing than usual, and Freddie just kept grinning at him. By early afternoon, Henry had evidently given up on Tag contributing anything useful. For the rest of the day, he concentrated on a few of Jay’s solo scenes, while Tag sat off to the side, ostensibly observing.

By the time they got back to the apartment, Tag was jittery with nerves. “I think I’ll go for a run. Want to come?”

Jay dropped onto his bed, yawning. “I’m pretty tired. I’ll give it a miss today.”

“Oh, right. Okay,” Tag said, surprised by how disappointed he felt. They went running together most days now. But fine, Tag was perfectly capable of going on his own. It was what he did at home, after all.

Flipping open his large case—which he hadn’t got round to unpacking since he’d moved into the apartment—he rummaged around, pulling out his running stuff, and heading for the bathroom to get changed. Even as he did it, a small part of him wondered why he didn’t just get changed in front of Jay. He’d never been shy about his body, and in all honesty, it felt a bit prissy to scuttle off like this. But this was what Jay did, and Tag felt like he should follow his lead. And yes, fine, it was probably best to keep a few boundaries in place. Tag still remembered, all too well, that unexpected, and wonderful, and terrible night in Jay’s hotel room. He didn’t think he’d ever forget what Jay had looked like, lying under him, those stormy eyes glittering with lust, and his mouth swollen from their kisses. His bare, golden skin and the noises he made as Tag stroked and kissed him.

He’d certainly never forget the devastated look in Jay’s eyes when Tag had angrily said,“I’ve never had to work so bloody hard at a blowjob in my life.”

Now, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, remembering that moment, Tag grimaced, a hot tide of shame threatening to overcome him. God, he wished he could go back and unsay those words.

Weird to think that had all happened months ago. Right now, it felt like yesterday, the memory still so vivid and bright. Other times, it felt like years ago, a distant time before, when Tag had been a different man entirely. Jay too. A very different man from the one Tag had spent these last weeks getting to know.

Christ, what a fuck-up that night had been. What a fuck-uphehad been.

Exiting the bathroom, he dumped his clothes next to his open case and sat on the edge of the sofa-bed to pull on his trainers.

“Do you want me to get anything for dinner on the way back?” he asked as he knotted his laces.

“Nah,” Jay said, without opening his eyes. “There’s plenty of stuff in the fridge. See you later.”

Grabbing his phone and strapping it to his arm, Tag shoved in his earbuds and headed for the door. “Yeah. Later.”

* * *

After running one of his favourite routes twice over, Tag was exhausted and sweaty, but the antsy feeling that had been under his skin all day had finally eased. He spent a good few minutes stretching, then used the short walk back to the apartment to cool down his muscles and plan the evening ahead. A shower would be the first order of business, he decided, then dinner, thenBow Street. Jay had seemed tired earlier, so maybe he’d let Tag cook for them tonight?