Page 105 of Best Supporting Actor
Tag could only stare at him, genuinely taken aback. He’d felt that way too, of course, but somehow he hadn’t imagined the experience would be as profound for Jay.
“It’s not just the acting,” Jay went on. “Getting to know you has been pretty awesome too.” He huffed a laugh. “Which is not something I’d imagined myself saying before we started rehearsals. Me and my sworn enemy, Tag O’Rourke, becoming…” He trailed off, his gaze still holding Tag’s.
Lovers. That was what Tag wanted to say, but he didn’t.
He wanted to say other things too.Let’s go back to that, Jay.Christ—Let Us Go Back—could it be more apt? But he didn’t say that either. He bit the words back because he couldn’t allow himself to put another ounce of pressure on Jay. Not to return to himorto the play. Jay was too vulnerable to that sort of pressure. His instinct was to give, to be generous, to help whenever he could. Tag had learned that about him over these last weeks. It was why Tag felt so ashamed of how he’d behaved last night. The very least he could do now was give Jay the room he needed to work out whathewanted and make his own decisions.
Realising he hadn’t said anything for a while, Tag said huskily, “I—I’ve loved getting to know you too.” He tried for his trademark grin, though he suspected it was a weak attempt. “Turns out you’re a pretty great guy. Who knew?”
Jay smiled back, but it was a little strained now, and disappointed somehow. In that moment, Tag felt like he’d made a mistake, or maybe missed an opportunity. Urgently, he said, “Jay, listen—”
But right then, there was a sharp knock at the door, and Dame Cordelia’s unmistakable voice said, “Julius, it’s me. Can I bother you for just a moment?”
Tag met Jay’s gaze. A part of him wanted to ask Jay to tell her to go away, but that was ridiculous, and when he stayed silent, Jay called out, “Sure, come in.”
The door opened, and Dame Cordelia’s head appeared around it. “You um, have another visitor, darling. It’s Bea.”
“How did she know Jay was here?” Tag blurted, frowning. “I didn’t tell her.”
Dame Cordelia sighed. “She didn’t, actually. She came to talk to me, to find out if I could help track Julius down. But when Mandy was showing her into the kitchen, she overheard me and Phil talking about him.” She glanced back at Jay and added in a small voice, “Sorry.”
“You don’t have to talk to her,” Tag said urgently, turning back to Jay.
Jay looked startled, probably by Tag’s vehemence. “I know,” he said, “but I want to see her. It’s the least I can do after walking out on her play.”
Dame Cordelia gave a little nod of satisfaction and disappeared, presumably to fetch Bea.
Concerned, Tag took a couple of steps closer to Jay. “She’s going to try to guilt you into going on tonight,” he warned. “But ignore her. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”
Jay ran a hand through his hair, and when he let go, the strands fell in silky disarray—no hair product, Tag thought. Why that particular detail should make his chest ache, he couldn’t say, except that it somehow made Jay seem less polished, more vulnerable. “What Idon’twant is to let her down,” he said ruefully. His eyes lifted to Tag’s. “Or you.”
“You’re not.” Tag covered another couple of feet between them, fighting the urge to reach for Jay. “Christ, don’t even think like that. You have to do what’s best foryou.”
Jay’s eyes held Tag’s, his gaze searching. “What if I don’t know what’s best for me?”
Then listen to me, Tag thought, but who the fuck was he to tell Jay what was best for him?
Their intense, silent look was broken when Bea burst into the room, dramatic as a heroine in a Gothic romance, her cloud of red hair escaping her ponytail and her face distraught. “Jay! ThankGodI found you in time. I’ve phoned Henry—he only got as far as Doncaster—and he’s on his way back. There’s still time to save this.”
Behind her came Dame Cordelia, Phil following them both into the room. What Phil thought, Tag wasn’t sure, but everything Jay had told him about his mother suggested that Dame Cordelia would be firmly on Bea’s side.The show must go on, darling!
Well, not if Tag had anything to say about it.
Stepping between Bea and Jay, Tag folded his arms over his chest and said, “Jay’s not going on tonight, Bea. You need to accept that, and we both need to get back to the theatre and make sure Rafe’s ready.”
Her eyes widened, chin lifting. “I think that’s up to Jay, don’t you?”
“I do, yeah, and he’s already given us his decision.”
But then Jay’s hand touched Tag’s shoulder, warm and so familiar that Tag’s heart gave a pang of want as Jay stepped around him to face Bea. “I’m so sorry for all this trouble,” he told her. “I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to dealing with flaky actors as your career goes on.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Tag muttered. “Protecting your mental health doesn’t make youflaky.”
Ignoring him, speaking directly to Jay, Bea said, “But you’ll befantastic. I know you will. You’ve been so good in rehearsal. And we have a full house every night of the run, thanks to you! They’reyourfans, Jay. They want to seeyou.” She pressed her hands together in front of her chest, eyes filling. Christ, she should be on stage herself. “Please don’t let them down.”
“None of that matters,” Tag objected quickly, moving to put himself in front of Jay again. “Honestly, Jay, it doesn’t. Your wellbeing is more important than anyone’s night out.” His throat thickened, and he added, “You’remore important.”
More important to me.