Page 23 of Best Friends

Sunday morning I wake up with a horrible headache.

The bite on my neck throbs, reminding me of the events of the day before.

My heart aches for Malcolm. I want him with me so much I can taste it.

I missed him enough before, but now that he’s given me his bite, his absence is a physical gnawing pain.

I touch my stomach, wondering if there’s a baby beginning to grow inside of me.

Malcolm’s baby. While the thought makes me anxious, it also excites me.

No wonder Malcolm doesn’t understand me. I barely understand myself.

I check my phone, hoping there’s a text from Malcolm, but there isn’t.

My heart sinks because Malcolm always sends me a good morning text.

His silence is just proof of how upset he is with me.

I crawl out of bed and stumble into the kitchen to make coffee.

Usually, Malcolm and I spend Sundays together, riding our bikes in the hills or watching a ball game on TV.

I drink a cup of coffee to perk up a little, and decide that Malcolm isn’t the only one who can text first. Just because that’s how it’s always been doesn’t mean I can’t put in effort too.

Perhaps I should send him a good morning message for a change.

It’s only fair. That way he’ll know I’m still open to talking.

My fingers tremble as I type and retype a message about four times.

It’s not easy to know what to say. I don’t want to text the wrong thing and then put his back up even more.

When my doorbell rings, I groan and set my phone down. I’m in no mood to suffer through a conversation with sales people or my neighbors. I make my way like a zombie to the front door. When I open it and find Malcolm standing there, my heart almost leaps out of my chest.

“Malcolm,” I say my voice wobbling. It’s so good to see him in the flesh, my heart begins to race. I want to reach out and touch him, but he doesn’t look very approachable.

Usually he’d greet me with a cheerful, “Hey, C.” And a warm grin. Both are missing today. There are dark shadows under his eyes and he looks very serious. “Can I come in?” he asks softly.

“Of course.” I step aside, inhaling his enticing alpha scent as he passes by. Just that little whiff makes me feel so comforted. I need my alpha near me, and being at odds with him is torture.

He stops a few feet from the door, his arms folded over his broad chest. His face is tense. “I uh wanted to apologize for being so emotional yesterday. I was hurt and I lost my temper. I should have realized you weren’t emotionally ready to be claimed.”

“Don’t apologize for claiming me, Malcolm. There’s no need for that.”

He drops his gaze. “You’re wrong. I… I lost control. You went into heat, and I wasn’t able to think logically.”

“We were both out of control. You don’t need to take all the blame. In fact, there’s no need for anyone to feel blame. The truth is, you were trying to help me, and I asked for that help.”

“Yeah.” He shifts uncomfortably. “Anyway, I fucked up.”

“Malcolm—”

“How’s the bite?” he interrupts. “Is it painful? I wanted to be sure it’s healing okay.”

I touch the bite mark. “It seems fine. It’s less painful today.”

“Okay, good.” He clears his throat. “I thought it over and I’m going to pay for you to have my bite removed from your neck.”

Shocked, I gape at him. “What?”

“There’s a very reputable clinic in the next town over. They’re apparently excellent. The technique they use leaves little to no scarring.” He lets out a shaky breath. “Don’t worry, they’re very discreet. No one will know you in that town, so your secret will be safe.”

I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me. “You want me to remove your bite?”

“I think it’s probably for the best.” His expression is emotionless.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. If I’m honest, I’m offended at his offer. “Are you saying this because you’re angry with me?”

He shakes his head. “No, not at all. I did a lot of thinking about what you said last night. You were right. Your career is as important to you as mine is to me. A pregnancy could interfere with you climbing the ladder.”

“I appreciate you saying that about my job, but I think asking me to remove your bite is insulting. I feel like you’re overreacting, Malcolm.”

“Am I? I don’t think so. You made it clear that if you hadn’t gone into heat, you’d never have let me claim you.”

“No, I… I said I wouldn’t have had you claim me yet .” My voice is gruff. “I wanted that eventually with you, Malcolm. I told you that.”

He breathes out harshly. “Well, either way, it shouldn’t have happened like it did. We don’t need to be tied to each other. It’s best if we break the bond now before it grows stronger.”

Feeling light headed, I perch on the arm of the closest arm chair. “So that’s it? You’re upset and so you want to remove any evidence that you claimed me? You don’t think that’s a bit disrespectful to me?”

“Don’t pretend like it wouldn’t be a relief for you.” He studies me cooly. “We both know you wish it had never happened.”

“But it did happen. Was the timing perfect, probably not. However, you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen by having your bite removed.”

“It’s more common these days than you know.” He sounds robotic.

I narrow my eyes. “And what if I’m pregnant? Is there a reputable clinic a town over for that too?”

His eyes flicker. “If you are carrying my child, I’ll leave that decision up to you. If you want to keep the kid, I’ll help out financially and however else you want.”

I huff. “I assume since you can’t wait to get your bite off my neck, you’d want me to get rid of the baby too. Wouldn’t want any little bundle of joy reminder of our poor choices running around in nine months, now would we?”

His lips thin. “Where do you get off giving me attitude? I’m trying to do the right thing. You made it abundantly clear that you wish I’d never claimed you. I’m trying to make things right.”

“Bullshit. I think you woke up this morning and you’re the one who regretted what happened. You can’t get your mark off me fast enough.”

He shakes his head, jabbing a finger at me. “Hey, I was happy . I was over the fucking moon yesterday after I claimed you. Then you started in with all your, ‘Hey, can we just pretend this huge fucking thing never happened?’ So don’t you dare put this on me.”

“You’re so full of it. I’d never have suggested we undo what we did. Never ,” I snap. “All I asked for was a little time before we told everyone.”

“Yeah, that’s all you ever want from me. Time . I’m supposed to just smile and pretend we’re just pals so that you can keep your fucking secrets until the end of time .”

“My god, Malcolm, are you seriously saying that asking for a little time to assimilate what happened is as hurtful as you telling me you want to remove your bite from me? What kind of alpha does that to their omega? What kind of honorable alpha claims an omega and then humiliates them by attempting to undo it?” My voice breaks and I’m horrified that I’m on the verge of tears.

But I feel betrayed by him. Never in my wildest dreams did I think Malcolm would suggest such a thing.

A flush creeps up his cheeks. “Why would you be humiliated? You don’t even want anyone to know about us.”

“If you don’t understand how fucking insulting your suggestion is, I don’t have the energy to explain it to you.”

We fall silent and I struggle to contain my emotions.

After a long while, he says softly, “I’m not trying to humiliate you.”

I grit my teeth and just glare at him.

He shifts uneasily. “I swear, that wasn’t my intention. I… I’m just trying to fix the situation. You don’t want to be my omega. I don’t know how else to undo what I did.”

“ We did it. Stop acting like you claimed me without my knowledge,” I hiss.

He watches me, as muscle jerking in his cheek.

I give a humorless laugh. “You want to know how pathetic I am? I woke up this morning, wondering how to reconcile with you. I wanted to make things right between us.” A painful lump forms in my throat. “Meanwhile, you woke up wondering how you could unload me.”

“That’s not fair or true,” he says hoarsely.

“Isn’t it?” I rub the back of my neck, feeling confused and sick to my stomach. “I don’t know where we go from here. I really don’t.”

“Me neither. I can’t seem to do anything right when it comes to you.”

I squint at him, heart aching. “All I did was ask for some time to figure out the next steps. I didn’t ask you to fall on your sword and undo the claiming. I never once said I regretted it happening. All I said was the timing could have been better.”

“Same difference.”

“No. It’s not.” I almost add that I’m honored to be his omega, but my pride won’t let me say the words. Not when he’s threatening to have his bite removed. I’m not willing to be that vulnerable with him right now.

He leans against the back of the couch, raking his hand through his dark hair. He looks dejected and a little lost. “Everything is so fucked up and I don’t know how to fix it. What the hell is happening to us?”

“I don’t think there is an us anymore,” I say coldly.

He winces. “Tell me what to do. I don’t know what you want, Carrick. I literally have no idea what you want from me.”

His use of my full name feels strange. Like he’s trying to distance himself from what we were. “This was exactly what I was afraid of when you first suggested getting sexual. I knew it would fuck up our friendship,” I rasp.

Guilt shifts through his ocean blue eyes.

“Best friends for life, my ass,” I mutter, scowling at him. “You promised me the sex wouldn’t ruin everything.”

“I’m trying to salvage things. You’re the one saying there’s no us anymore. I’m trying my best to figure out what the hell you want from me.” He looks frazzled, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. “One second it seems like you care about me, and the next you want nothing to do with me.”