Page 19 of Best Friends

I’m taken aback by how angry he is and even more shocked that he knows about the date with Amanda.

I’ve never seen Malcolm this furious, and he’s definitely never been this angry with me before.

His eyes are a piercing blue, his jaw locked tight.

He’s intimidating as he focuses all that bristling alpha energy on me.

It’s so intense I take a step back, uneasiness rippling through me.

“Calm down,” I say gruffly, holding out a hand.

He narrows his eyes, shoulders tight. “What the fuck is going on, C.?” His voice is hoarse and raw with pain. “First you ditch me to go off with Chey, and now you’re blowing me off tonight too so you can go on a date ?”

“No, I’m not going on a date.”

“That’s not what I heard. Cecila called me and told me you asked Amanda out and she was hoping we could make it a double date again.”

“Cecilia called you?” That came out of left field. It never occurred to me Amanda might call Cecila about the date. “I’m not going on a date with Amanda.”

“Then why would Cecilia say that?” He steps closer, his mouth a grim line. “Don’t fucking lie to me right now. I need to know what’s happening.”

A lawn mower starts up in the yard across the street, and I meet the curious gaze of my neighbor, Jerry. “Let’s go inside so we can talk privately,” I say, turning and heading to my front door.

Malcolm hesitates but then follows.

My hands are shaking as I slip the key in the lock. “It’s not what you think, Malc. I swear.”

He just grunts and follows me into the house. He stands near the couch, face flushed and eyes still glittering with pain and confusion. I shut the door and go to him. When I reach out to touch his arm, he steps out of reach, eyes dark with suspicion.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” I say quietly.

His face twitches with anger. “Tell me why Cecila thinks you asked Amanda out on a date.”

I grimace. “Because I did, but I’m not going to go.”

He looks like I slapped him. “You actually asked her out?”

My face warms at the accusation in his tone. “Listen, what happened was Amanda was at the race, and… and Harlan and Jeremy showed up.”

“Amanda was at the race,” he repeats woodenly. “Did you know she’d be there? Is that why you didn’t want me there?”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want you there—” I rake a hand through my hair. “I… I didn’t know Amanda would be there. I had no idea until she walked up.”

“And in your shock you accidentally asked her out on a fucking date?” His tone is mocking.

“Don’t be an asshole, Malcolm,” I rasp. “I’m doing my best to explain the situation. It’s complicated.”

“So uncomplicate it for me.”

I exhale roughly. “Okay, Harlan was being a lecherous asshole to Amanda. She looked flustered by his attention, and to get him to back off, I said she already had plans tonight with me. I obviously didn’t think it through.”

“No, you obviously didn’t,” he rumbles. “Because when you ask someone out on a date they expect you to actually show up.”

“Malcolm,” I groan. “Stop being so aggressive. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

His face tenses and he clenches his fists.

“Sorry if I’m a little upset, C. I mean, I was already feeling pretty shitty when you left me behind this morning.

Next thing I know I hear you’re asking other people out on dates.

How am I supposed to feel after the day I’ve had?

Huh? Tell me, C., how would you feel if our positions were reversed? ”

“Suspicious. Angry.”

“Bingo,” he says harshly.

I take a chance and move closer to him. Holding his gaze, I silently pray he won’t push me away as I reach for him. “Malcolm,” I say softly, “please, calm down. I love you. Just you.”

As I finish speaking, I slip my arms around his waist. My head rests against his broad chest, and while he stiffens, he doesn’t push me away. His heart is pounding hard beneath my ear, his breathing jagged. He’s worked up but I feel him trying to control himself, which gives me hope.

After a few moments, his arms come around me like he can’t help himself.

His body is still tense, and he’s definitely not happy, but at least he’s not shoving me off or cussing me out.

I inhale his familiar alpha scent and it helps calm me.

It gives me courage. When his hands move to rest on my lower back I’m relieved.

“I had a shit day,” he says quietly, his voice cracking.

“I’m really sorry.” I pull back and meet his red-rimmed gaze. He’s not a super emotional guy. He’s warm and friendly, but Malcolm doesn’t get choked up easily. My heart hurts knowing I’m the reason he’s had such a horrible day. “I feel awful you had such a rough day.”

He sighs. “Well, at least you’re here now.” He hesitates. “You told Amanda you’re not going on the date with her, right?”

“Not yet.” When he starts to pull away, I hold on tight, my fingers digging into the soft cotton of his shirt. “No, you need to trust me. I’m going to text her as soon as we’re done talking.”

“Yeah, sure you are.” His tone is flat, disbelieving.

“I am. I promise.” I touch his stubbled cheek, the coarse hair scratching against my palm. “I figured talking to you was more important.”

“Or maybe you’re just stalling.” His voice is hard, a bitter edge cutting through the words.

“Stop it,” I say, my voice sharp.

His expression is cynical, his jaw tight and unforgiving. “I’m starting to wonder if the reason you wanted to keep us a secret was so you could date other people.”

I scowl, heat rising in my chest. “I don’t believe you really think that.”

“Maybe I do.”

I narrow my eyes, searching his face for any sign he’s bluffing. “Come on, Malc. I’m supposed to be the untrusting one, not you.”

He gives a grudging smile, but it’s fleeting, gone before it can reach his eyes. “I don’t like this secrecy shit. It’s not in my nature to hide who I am.”

“I know.” My stomach aches with stress, a tight knot of anxiety sitting heavy beneath my ribs. “But you said you’d be patient with me, remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” he mutters, his breath coming out in a frustrated sigh.

I brighten. “Plus, I told Chey about us. So, at least we don’t have to hide from her anymore.”

He lifts his brows, surprise flickering across his features. “You told Chey?”

“I did.” I nod eagerly, the words tumbling out faster now. “She was hurt because I was being so distant and weird. To be honest, she didn’t even seem that surprised.”

There’s obvious relief in his eyes, the tension around them finally softening as his shoulders drop. “You really told her?”

“Yes.” I give him a tentative smile. “I did something good, right?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly, his voice rough with emotion. “That makes me feel a little better.”

“Does it?” I tighten my arms around him, feeling the warmth of his body through his thin t-shirt. “Thank god. Please don’t be mad at me, Malcolm. I hate it when you’re upset.”

“Well, shit, C. How did you think I was going to react when I heard you asked Amanda out on a date?” He sounds exasperated, his breath warm against my forehead. “What was I supposed to think?”

“No, I get it. I never expected you to find out.” I laugh sheepishly, the sound catching in my throat. “I planned on handling it before you ever knew what an idiot I was.”

He lets out a shaky breath, and I can feel the tension slowly leaving his muscles. “I felt sick thinking you wanted to date that girl.”

I wince and put my hands on either side of his familiar, handsome face, my thumbs brushing over the slight stubble on his jaw. “No. Not even a little. All I wanted the whole day was to get back to you.”

“Yeah?” His eyes gentle, the blue of them catching the light from the window. “Promise?”

“God yes,” I manage, a lump in my throat making it difficult to speak, the words thick and heavy.

I push up on my toes and press my mouth to his, tasting the faint sweetness of him.

He responds immediately, his tongue slipping into my mouth and his hands tugging me closer, fingers gripping the fabric of my shirt.

He lifts his head. “Can we go in your bedroom? I… I need you so bad, C.”

“Same,” I whisper, excitement churning through me.

Things feel different now. I’m more aware of how insecure Malcolm is.

He’s good at hiding his feelings and appearing confident, and he had me fooled.

He said he’d be patient with me, but if how he was earlier is anything to go by, all that means is he’s just waiting for me to bail on him.

He shouldn’t have to worry so much about whether I want him or not.

I need those insecurities to go away. They’ll only make things harder.

He needs to understand just how much he means to me.

He’s fucking everything to me and he doesn’t even know it.

That breaks my heart. Even though I’m terrified what we feel for each other won’t last, I need to at least privately give him everything I have to give.

“Here.” I tug out my cell phone. “I’m going to text Amanda right now and tell her I can’t go out with her.”

He studies me. “Yeah?”

I nod, mulling what I should say. “I don’t want to hurt her, but I also want her to get the message that I’m not interested in her. Not sure how to convey that.”

He grimaces. “She’s a nice girl.”

“She is.”

He wrinkles his brow. “Still doesn’t mean I’m cool with you going out tonight with her though.”

I smile at how jealous he sounds. “I don’t want to go out with her. I just want to stay in with you.”

He crosses his arms. “Okay, then make something up. Tell her you’re still hung up on your ex. That always works.”

I laugh. “You read my mind. That’s exactly what I was going to say to her.

” I type out a message, careful to keep the focus on me rather than her.

The truth is, this is about me—not her. She’s gorgeous, funny, and smart.

But I’m in love with my best friend, and that means my heart is already taken.

“Okay,” I say after hitting send. “The deed is done.”