Page 18 of Best Friends

My face feels stiff as I say, “How about I meet you at the Wagon Wheel Bar and Grill around 7:00 p.m.? They have great food and drinks.”

“Perfect.” Amanda giggles. “I’ll see you then.”

I watch her walk away, my stomach churning.

When I turn back to Cheyenne, she’s scowling. “Okay, why’d you lie to me? If you weren’t out late, why say you were?”

My face warms. “I really did go out with Malcolm and those girls. I just ended up going home early because I felt sick. That’s all.”

“So, why not just say that?”

Because I spent the night having sex with Malcolm, and I’m a wreck who doesn’t know how to be normal anymore.

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“Why did you need to lie to me?” she demands.

I hold her gaze, feeling like an asshole. “I… just…”

When I don’t continue, she shakes her head, looking disappointed. “You need to get your shit together, Carrick. I don’t even feel like I know you right now. You’re hiding shit and lying about things you don’t need to lie about.”

I let out a shaky breath. “I’m going through something, Chey. I’m sorry I lied. I… I promise I’ll tell you everything when I have it figured out. You’re right. I’m not myself right now, and I feel awful that I lied to you.”

“Good. You should feel awful about that.” She scowls.

I stare at her silently, torn between the desire to confide in her and the fear of being judged. Not that Cheyenne is a judgmental person, but I’m not sure how she’ll react to the idea of me and Malcolm as a couple.

She shakes her head. “I’m ready to head home, are you?”

“Yeah.” I follow her through the crowd, feeling like dog shit. She’s such a good friend and I’m making her feel like I don’t trust her.

When we get in her SUV, before she can start the engine, I touch her arm. “Wait,” I say softly.

She hesitates and glances at me, her gaze questioning.

“Malcolm and I… we…” My throat closes and I cough.

“You what?” she asks, squinting at me.

The inside of the car is warm and stifling from sitting in the sun all day. The scent of leather and faded perfume permeate the air. The sun beats down on my shoulder through the window as I meet her puzzled gaze.

“Are you guys still fighting?” she asks apprehensively.

“No,” I say hoarsely. “It’s the complete opposite.”

Her confusion remains as she blinks at me. “I don’t understand.”

I look to the ceiling of the car and say, “Things are sexual between us now.”

She lets out a surprised gasp, and when I get the courage to meet her gaze, there’s obvious shock. “You and Malcolm?”

I nod, anxiety gnawing at me. I can’t tell what she’s thinking. She has too good of a poker face. She’s obviously surprised, but I have no clue what her feelings are on the matter. Is she repulsed?

“When did this start?” she asks. “Was it at the fishing convention?”

Surprised she guessed, I glance at her sharply.

She smiles. “I’m not psychic. That’s when you started acting weird with each other. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.”

“I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” she echoes. “Why?”

I huff. “You know why. Because of assholes like Harlan and Jeremy for starters. I don’t want to become the subject of gossip for everyone at work or in town. My… my love life is my private business.”

“I agree. But even if that’s true, people are always going to talk, Carrick. That’s just a fact. That doesn’t mean you should hide who you are.”

“Well, I’m not ready to tell people.” I meet her gaze. “You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“I’m flattered you trusted me.” She shifts her body toward me. “I mean that. I won’t say a word to anyone else. I promise.”

I grimace. “I know that, Chey. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel about me being bisexual.”

Her smile is sad. “I’d hope you know exactly how I’d react. I’d never judge you. My youngest sister is gay.”

I lift my brows. “Is she?”

“Yep.” She smiles. “See how good I am at keeping a secret?”

I laugh. “I guess you are. Wow.”

“She’s had her struggles. But she’d never hide who she is.” She studies me. “How does Malcolm feel about all the secrecy?” Her tone implies she knows exactly how he feels.

“He doesn’t like it.”

“No, I don’t imagine he would,” she murmurs. “So this is why you’ve been acting so strange. I’m actually relieved. I was beginning to worry maybe you had a secret drug problem or something.”

I recoil. “Excuse me? You thought I was a druggie?”

She laughs sheepishly. “Well, you were acting so weird. And then this morning, when you completely forgot about the marathon. That was bizarre.”

I exhale, face warm. “I forgot because Malcolm spent the night at my place. I was a little… distracted. He wanted to go for a bike ride then spend the day together.” Guilt nudges me at how dejected Malcolm looked when I left him this morning.

She blinks at me. “How’s that work when you asked Amanda out on a date tonight? How’s Malcolm going to feel about that?”

My gut starts churning again from stress. “He’s not going to like it one bit. Do you think he’d understand if I explain how obnoxious Harlan was being to Amanda?”

Cheyenne watches me like I’m delusional. “Do I think he’ll understand? You can’t seriously think Malcolm will be cool with you going out on a date, right? He’s an alpha . They don’t tend to share well. Not when they’ve decided something is theirs.”

“God, you’re right. I can’t go on that date. He was already upset that I left him behind this morning to run in the marathon. Now I’m going to fuck up the rest of our day too? No, he’ll go ballistic. What the hell was I thinking?”

She watches me with sympathy. “You weren’t thinking. You just felt sorry for Amanda.” She starts the engine, backing out of her parking spot.

“Yes.” She’s exactly right. “It was definitely a pity date.”

“Trust me, no girl wants that. If she knew you asked her out because you felt sorry for her she’d die.

You’ll be doing her a favor by calling off the date, instead of sending her the wrong message.

I mean, if you take her out, she’s going to assume you’re interested in her. ” She hesitates. “You’re not, right?”

“God no.” I shake my head vehemently. “Not at all. I… I just want Malcolm.”

“Well, I wouldn’t blame you if you were attracted to her. You’ve dated women in the past and she’s very pretty.”

“She is, but Malcolm is just… perfect for me.” My cheeks warm at my sappy statement.

“Then you really fucked up.

I wince. “Yeah. I did. I was being chivalrous, and I hate the idea of hurting Amanda’s feelings. But Malcolm has to be my priority or I could ruin everything between us.”

“No question.” She drives in silence for a while. “How long do you plan on keeping your relationship a secret?”

“You mean how long will Malcolm let me keep it a secret?”

“Yeah, I guess. You should be more like Malcolm. He doesn’t care what people think of him. I know you do though. That’s something you might have to get over, if you want this thing with Malcolm to last.”

I sigh. “I guess I don’t expect it to last and that’s the whole problem.”

She looks shocked. “You don’t expect it to last?”

“Come on, Chey, this is Malcolm we’re talking about.”

“What does that mean?” She frowns, her eyes still on the road.

“Can you really see Malcolm settling down with me forever?”

“Absolutely. You’re the one he’s been waiting for.”

I roll my eyes. “ I wouldn’t exactly say he was waiting for me. Women have been chasing Malcolm since he hit puberty, and he didn’t say no. He must have slept with half of the female omega population of Whispering Pines by now.”

“Okay. But he was never serious about any of them. He never wanted to settle down with any of them.”

I shrug. “He probably just never found the right one.”

She laughs gruffly. “Out of all those women, he couldn’t even find one he wanted to date longer than a month or so. Something kept him from falling in love with those other omegas.”

I glance at her. “Are you seriously suggesting I was the reason?”

“Yes.” She bites her bottom lip. “It’s obvious he’s always been in love with you, Carrick.

You guys do everything together. You should have seen him when you stopped coming around.

He was a basket case. I’m sure his feelings for you prevented him from falling in love with anyone else all these years because he was already in love with you. ”

A part of me loves hearing that, but my rational side can’t accept it.

I’ve never believed in fated mates like a lot of my kind.

It always felt like something people told themselves to feel special.

I avoid her gaze. “Well, even if that were true, which I highly doubt, that still doesn’t mean his feelings will last.”

“Of course it does. You’re who he wanted the whole time.” She grips the wheel tighter. “Frankly, I think he planned to use the fishing convention to get sexual with you. He was probably sick of waiting around for you to get the hint.”

“What?” I frown.

“You heard me.”

“Yes, I heard you but I think you’re insane,” I rasp. “Malcolm didn’t plan anything. The girls at the convention were super commitment hungry. We weren’t looking for that, so we didn’t want to hook up with them. End of story.”

“And your only other option was to have sex with each other?” She laughs. “Come on. Even you must know that’s silly. There were other hotel bars you two could have gone to.”

“We were tired,” I argue. “We didn’t feel like wandering around Vegas. We’d been walking all day at the convention.”

“I’m not buying it. I think Malcolm decided it was time to shoot his wad… so to speak.”

I murmur, “I’m not sure about your theory.”

There’s a stubborn jut to her jaw. “Who made a move on who at the fishing convention?”

My face heats. “Nobody made a move. We were both just horny.”

“Yeah, but who suggested things get sexual? You or Malcolm?”

I swallow hard. “He did.”

“I knew it. How did he bring it up?”

My face burns even hotter. “God, why does that even matter?”

She laughs. “I’m just curious how he worked that into everyday conversation. Like, hey, that’s a cool fishing lure. Wanna fuck?” She laughs again.

“Come on, Chey. Don’t mock us.”

“Sorry.” She touches my arm. “But seriously, how did he even bring it up?”

I sigh. “Like I said, we were both horny and the chicks weren’t working out. He… he said some friend of his told him males sometimes help each other out when there aren’t any women around. Like in the military or in prison.”

She laughs. “Oh my god, Carrick, he totally planned it.”

“No, he’s not manipulative like that.”

She scrunches her face. “I don’t see it as manipulative so much as opportunistic. He saw his chance and he took it.”

“So was it planned or was he opportunistic? They’re different.”

“It was probably a little of both.”

I groan. “Chey, the girls at the convention really were all super commitment hungry. He didn’t make that up and he couldn’t have planned that.”

“Maybe they were, but I still think he used that as an excuse to be with you sexually, Carrick. Do you really think he needed you to help him get off? Even if he didn’t want to pick up any of the girls that night, he didn’t need you to get off.”

Embarrassment shifts through me. “He wanted human touch. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“No, there isn’t. But I think he wanted more than that, and he wanted it with you and only you.”

“It… it was just blow jobs.”

She grunts. “Did you kiss?”

My stomach swirls with memories of those lustful kisses we shared in the elevator. “Y… yes. So what?”

“Kissing is intimate. Kissing doesn’t have to be a part of jerking someone off.

You must know that. I’ll bet those guys his pal was telling him about didn’t kiss.

He wanted to kiss you. He wanted you sexually.

He planned the whole thing because he’s been in love with you for years. I’d bet a million dollars, Carrick.”

I’ve wanted this for so long.

“Okay,” I say impatiently. “But even if that’s true, it doesn’t mean it’ll last . That’s all I’m saying. I don’t think Malcolm can stay with just one person. I don’t think it’s in his nature.”

“And I think you’re wrong. He wouldn’t want to be public if he wasn’t certain of his feelings for you.”

I hang my head, feeling tired. “I’d love it if that were true, Chey. But I… I just don’t trust it yet.”

She pats my arm. “Well, luckily, it sounds like Malcolm is willing to give you the time you need to come to terms with things.”

“I just hope he doesn’t lose patience with me.” Even if I don’t trust Malcolm will stay with me forever, I’d like this thing between us to last as long as possible.

“Yes,” she murmurs. “Me too. Don’t take forever to trust Malcolm. Sounds like he’s dying to show the world you’re his.” She pulls into my driveway as she finishes speaking.

“I just don’t want to be made a fool of.

” I glance at the small ranch house I’ve called home for the past five years.

The low, clean lines of the brick exterior catch the late afternoon sun, and the wide front porch still has last week’s grocery flyer tucked into the railing.

The yard isn’t fancy, but it’s neat, patchy grass trimmed, porch swept, windows clean. It’s nothing special, but it’s mine.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She gives me an encouraging smile. “I truly believe Malcolm loves you and only you.”

“I wish I had half the certainty you do, Chey,” I say softly, climbing out of the car.

“Hey, Carrick,” she calls out when I start to shut the car door. I hesitate and she continues. “Don’t sabotage this relationship just because you’re scared.”

“I don’t plan on doing that.”

“I’m sure you don’t, but you’ve done it before with the girls you’ve dated. This is different because it’s Malcolm. Don’t lose sight of that.”

“I’ll do my best not to fuck things up.” I grimace and close the door.

As I make my way to the house my pulse picks up at the sight of Malcolm’s red pickup pulling into the driveway just as Cheyenne pulls out.

She honks her horn and Malcolm waves at her.

He’s earlier than I thought he’d be, but that just makes me happy.

I’ve missed him and can’t wait to spend the rest of our day together.

However, when Malcolm gets out of his truck, his face is flushed and he looks angry. As he approaches, he growls, “So, I hear you have a hot date tonight with Amanda.”