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thirty-three

Caged

Jameson

It's been a week since I’ve seen my father. The prick left me in this fucking institute with all the looneys. According to Dr. Petrova, my newest therapist that wants me to talk about my feelings, I threatened him with his own pen. She’ll learn soon enough that I don’t talk about feelings. Get fucking bent, Doc, I just want out of here.

Being locked up was never part of the fucking deal. I was to be his lab rat, and that was it. As usual, he fucked me over and I want answers. I’m sick of spending my days walking around and yelling at the voices who won’t shut up. They taunt me at every waking moment, wanting me to unleash The Carver, but something inside my heart won’t allow it. Almost like I’m too afraid to give in.

At night, I’m strapped to the bed no matter how hard I fight, only to be left drugged, horny and blindfolded. I’m not sure who's behind the depravity of this place, but I know from personal experience they keep all the looneys compliant by taking advantage of them through drugs. Making them feel good, while getting off with no trace of who’s to blame.

“You know exactly who you can blame.”

“It's the same person, time and time, again.”

“I don’t care, I just want Carver to come play.”

“Fuck all of you. The Carver is not coming out. Give it a rest.” I say to myself as I walk down the hall of this extremely cold building. My name being called has me stopping in my tracks.

“Mr. Jameson, sir. How art thou today?” Lolli says, giving me a little curtsey, which makes no fucking sense. Her white-blonde hair is tied up by red ribbon in pigtails and her face is painted completely white with red clown paint over her eyes and mouth. She thinks she’s creepy looking, but she’s not. She’s a fascinating little creature. Guess The Carver will always live within me and there’s no fully shutting him off.

“I wonder what she tastes like.”

“Can we have her blood? I bet it's sour.”

“You should stick your dick in her. She’s batshit just like you.”

I shake my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. “Shut the fuck up.” I say and Lolli’s eyes widen as she dances around me like a ballerina.

“Oh, the thoughts talk to you, too? Mine follow me around and it's annoying as fuck. I can’t do shit alone. Not even take a shit. He just stares and I want to scream.” She giggles and I just look at her, watching how graceful she is on her toes.

“Jethro doesn't like you. He wants your fingernails.” She giggles as I continue to walk.

“Yeah well, tell Jethro the feeling is mutual and to get fucked.” I say, and she stops abruptly, stomping her foot on top of mine.

“Goddamn it, Lolli,” I growl and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“You take that back, right now!” she yells.

“Oh, look, you upset crazy pants.”

“Always a disappointment.”

“Just kill her already. This is getting boring.”

“Shut up!” I yell and she curb stomps me again, causing me to grit my teeth.

“Are you telling me to shut up? Because the last person who told me to shut up ended up with their tongue up their ass.”She giggles.

“Jesus Christ no, I”m–”

“See, she’s fucking crazy.”

“Look at her. Wild and nuts.”

“Give me her blood, like how hard is it?”

Shaking my head as they just keep getting louder and louder, Lolli is still going on and on. I can’t take it anymore. I spin and head for the therapy room, but she follows, still yapping away. Between her yammering and the voices hollering, I’m going to slice my own fucking throat. Jesus Christ. I stop abruptly right outside the therapy room as flashes of me standing over Jade's body, completely bloodied, flood my vision. Her eyes are wide with sadness as blood gushes from her throat. She reaches her arm up and nothing. Someone's hand is on my bicep, causing me to take a step back with a growl, not liking anyone putting their hands on me. My vision clears and three orderlies have me surrounded.

“Boys, if you know what’s good for you, you will back the fuck up.” I warn, but they take a step closer.

“Fine, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” I laugh as one comes at me with a needle. I dodge him, pushing the fat fuck into another slow idiot.

“You make this too easy. Come on, you disgusting little creatures. Show me what you got.” I taunt, laughing.

“Get em, Mr. Sir. Drain them of their blood. Give us a show.” Lolli cheers and I can’t help but laugh. She’s such a little psycho . Shoes clapping against the tile floor alerts me that someone of importance is coming.

“Son, stand down and follow me.” My father orders, ending all my fun.

“Oh, god. Master D is your father?” Lolli asks as I pass her.

“Unfortunately.” I grumble and she smiles as I follow my father in his tailored suit down another hallway and into an office.

“It’s about time you came for me. I thought we had a deal.” I say and he unbuttons his suit, taking a seat behind the desk. He twirls a paper-cutter in his hands,bringing back memories of the woman we shared the last time we signed a contract.

“When do I get to leave?” I ask, and he shakes his head.

“Do you remember what happened after taking the drug?” He asks and I shake my head.

“Not really,” I admit, and his eyes widen.

“You killed everyone, son,” He informs as our eyes connect. Something isn’t right. Why does he almost look sad? He never has that type of expression.

“Who did I kill? Wasn’t that what you wanted from me?” I say, not understanding what is happening.

“Jameson, you killed your brothers and Jade, then tried to kill yourself.” He says, and I stumble back.

“I what? There’s no way. Why would you put them in there with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I accuse and he shakes his head.

“You weren’t following orders, so we needed to motivate you. What we did not expect was all the bloodshed. Now I’m on the outs with The Aces because of you.” He says, and I shake my head.

“No, no way. I killed my girl? My brothers? How could I let the monster do that?” I say and he sighs.

“You let those voices of yours lead you into damnation. I’m sorry son, but here is where you’ll stay until further notice. I’ll make sure your accommodations are top tier. But until you can be trusted and medicated to fit back into society, this is your new home.” He says, getting up from his chair and rounding the desk as I stand in shock.

“It’s for the best son. I’ll see you soon.” He whispers as a lone tear falls down my cheek, therealization sinking in. I let the monster kill all the people I love. For once my father might be right. Maybe I belong locked up. The monster needs to be in a cage, a cage of steel, with no way of escaping.