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Broken Little Boy

Spade

Getting up from the cold marble floor, I look into the window and see Jameson’s lifeless body. Dragging my feet, I walk into the room and stare at my brother, a man I knew all my fucking life, just laying there. Lifeless. Dead.

We always knew this would kill us, but never in a million years did I ever think I would be the one to kill him. I should have never stabbed him. My rage got the best of me and now my brother is dead. Fucking dead. I can’t wrap my brain around this. I’m never going to see him again. Who the fuck am I supposed to argue with? Not fucking Ri, he’s never around. That mother fucker is getting married and now I have no one.

What if Jade doesn’t make it, either? Then I lose two people I love most in this fucked up world in one day and it’s all my fault. We wouldn’t fucking be here if I didn’t take that knife and sink it into his chest.

I step closer to the gurney and grab his still warm hand as tears stream down my face. I can’t fucking breathe. This can’t be happening.

“I’m so sorry brother. I can’t lose you. I just got you both back. You can’t leave! Don’t you fucking leave me, you psychotically beautiful creature. I need you.” I sob, trying to keep it together but I just can’t any longer. My brother is gone and it hurts so fucking bad. Leaning down, I brush his hair from his eyes and kiss his warm lips.

“I love you, brother. Please come back.” I whisper, laying my head against his chest as Ri walks in and stands next to me.

“He’s gone, Reid. It’s time to go,” he says in a hushed tone, putting his hand on my shoulder, but I shrug him off.

“I’ll leave when I'm good and ready.” I spit, pulling my shoulder out of his touch.

“I said it’s time to go. We need to find Jade.” He counters and I narrow my eyes at him. Standing up, I take a step towards him.

“Where the fuck have you been? You don’t even know half of what’s been going on. Why don’t you go back to your dirty, disgusting cunt of a wife, and fuck right the fuck off.” I spit. He looks stunned at my call out, but he doesn’t get to call the shots.

“I’m getting real sick and tired of Marsela being thrown in my fucking face.” He growls.

“I really don’t give a fuck what you’re tired of. Answer the question. Where have you been? You say you love Jade so much, but you didn't have enough respect to come be with us when we lost those kids, when we buried the little girl who we grew to love and bonded with.” I grit, stepping closer, giving him a push. “Where were you? Oh, that's right, you were too busy balls deep in that filthy cunt.” I growl, pushing him again only for him to push me back.

“That’s not true. You know what’s at stake here with Marsela. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He says, but fuck that.

“Sorry isn’t good enough! You fucking signed the contract! Shit got rough and you went rogue and forgot about her. Then come in and want to cry like a bitch and beg for her attention? No, Ri, you did that shit to yourself!” I yell, seconds away from punching him in his lying fucking face.

“What the fuck do you want me to do? I know I fucked up. I’m reminded every day!” He screams but I shake my head, poking him in the temple as I say my next words.

“Ya know what? You’re a fake piece of shit. Go cry to your wife and stay the fuck away from us.” I provoke as I slap his temple causing him to growl and rear back. But I get the drop on him first, grabbing the scalpel from the tray and stepping up to him, pressing it against his throat.

“Do it, Reid. Kill me, just like you killed our brother.” He growls and I take a step back dropping the knife, completely stunned by his words when suddenly the heart monitor beeps, causing us to freeze. We look at each other before looking back at Jameson again. What the fuck?

“Come on Jay, you better fucking fight. I’m right here with you. Keep that heart beating,” I yell, walking back over to the gurney, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

“We will never leave you, Jameson. Come on, keep that fucking heart pumping. The nurses are on the way,” Ri says and I seethe.

“I told you to stay away from us! Get out!” I yell as I push him away. Suddenly the heart monitor goes crazy. Fuck.

Nurses and doctors flood the room, pushing us to the side before they cart him off to surgery. Holy fucking shit that was close. We aren’t out of the woods yet, but there’s hope. We get situated in the recovery room, waiting for the doctor or someone, to give us an update. I look over to Ri with narrowed eyes.

“I’m not leaving, so you can go fuck yourself,” he states and I smirk.

Waiting for what feels like hours, my phone pings with a message from Slim.

Fuck, Jade.

Slim: We need to talk.

FUCK.