Page 74 of Becoming Us

“Okay.” A pause. Then, “There was something I wanted to ask you.”

There it is.

“What’s that?”

There was a soft click of a door closing on her end. She cleared her throat. “I was thinking about having everybody over. For September.”

My brows knit. “September?”

“Yes. You’ll be done with classes, won’t you?”

“Probably,” I said, still unsure where this was going.

“I was thinking it would be nice if you could all be here for the Mass.”

“The Mass?” I echoed.

“Your father’s Mass. It’s been four years since he passed, but I thought it would be nice to do it for his birthday. Celebrate his life.”

More lights flickered on, a slow cascade spreading across the skyline.

I exhaled. “Who’s everybody?”

“Your sister and your brothers.”

I arched a brow. “Matias and Diego said they’d come?” They hadn’t even shown up for the fucking funeral. Not a call. Nothing. And now they were coming to celebrate my dad’s birthday?

She hummed. “Diego hasn’t answered, but Mati said he’d try to make it. And Lana is excited about seeing you. I didn’t tell her you said yes, just that I would ask.”

My gut twisted with guilt. Ilana had been trying to reach out again—texting more often, asking about my life. But not like Mom. She seemed genuinely interested and never asked for anything in return.

Still, my mountain of trust issues kept me holding her at arm’s length. Even though I knew what I was doing, I couldn’t make myself stop. I didn’t know how to meet her halfway, how to reciprocate her attempts.

So guilt it was.

I let my chin fall onto the cold metal banister, the surface oddly comforting.

“So, will you?” she asked. “You should bring Atty too. I’d love to finally meet him.”

I closed my eyes, forehead pressing against the rail. Perfect. Just what I needed—to relive that whole mess in the middle of…whateverthiswas. Me, asking Atty to come with me to Seattle.

I shook my head. “I don’t think he can come, but I’ll try to make it, Mom.” At the very least, I should try for Ilana. And for Dad too, I guess.

“That’s great, muñeco.” She sounded genuinely excited. “You can meet Marco’s kids—they’re going to be visiting too.”

Of course they fucking would. Classic her. Slip in a hangout with her boyfriend and new family after I’d already agreed.

“Sounds like fun.” I mustered about as much enthusiasm as I could fake—which wasn’t much.

“It’s going to be incredible, you’ll see. Talk to you later!” she chirped.

I hung up and took a couple of slow, steadying breaths.

Was it always going to feel like this? I’d spent so much time trying to make this relationship work—dug through it with Samuel, tried to let go—but every conversation with her yanked me back to stage one. My chest ached.

I rubbed at it absently, then reached for the medallion around my neck.

Four years?