Page 139 of Becoming Us

“Yeah?”

I leaned back to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry I never listened—when you asked me to get help.”

His lips curved into a hesitant smile, caught between hope and pain.

“I’m never going to let it get that bad again, okay? I won’t do that to myself or to you. I’ll get help.”

His shoulders eased, relief lifting off him, like it had been weighing there for the longest time. He nodded earnestly before pulling me into another tight hug. “You don’t know how happy that just made me.” His words brushed soft against my temple.

“I know. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

He shook his head, refusing to let go. “So, you’re alright?”

“I am.” The knot in my chest loosened. “I’m going to a meeting with Pax.”

“That sounds great.” We shared a breath. “Home?” he asked.

“Home.” That one word warmed me from the inside out.

“Though I’ll be honest—I don’t think tonight’s a take-your-clothes-off kind of night. My head’s not in the right place.”

He smiled down at me. “That’s okay. We can just cuddle and sleep.” Honestly, that sounded perfect.

We walked hand in hand for a while, letting the salty wind and quiet breeze wrap around us before calling a car.

This—this was what I needed tonight. Not the party. Not the noise or the people.

I needed him. And the wind.

I wasn’tthat guyanymore.

That was such a fucking relief.

CHAPTER

TWENTY

BEFORE

I sat on the edge of his bed. It was already close to noon. We’d gone to sleep with the sun high, after he’d had his fill of me. I hated staying over, but it was better than going home.

“You heading out?” River asked, stepping out of the bathroom. A cloud of steam followed him, thickening the stale air.

“Yeah, I wanted to shower first.”

Normally, I didn’t bother. I preferred getting out of there as fast as possible. But today, I had to stop by the house. I’d avoided it last night when my plane landed, but I was out of excuses. We were supposed to have a family lunch.

Family. When she said that, my mind automatically asked,What family?Ilana was in Spain, living life. My father had been buried for two months. And she and I were barely close enough to be labeled as such.

I got in and showered quickly, changing into the same clothes I’d worn the night before, even though my bag was just outside. Ididn’t love the idea of him seeing me undressed when I was this sober.

“See you later,” I said as I stepped out and grabbed my stuff.

“Are you coming to the party tonight?”

I raised a brow, turning to face him. “Which one?”

He was already dressed, sitting by the coffee table, pouring himself a drink. “Your friend James’s. At the marina. Let me know if you’re coming.”