Page 216 of Becoming Us

“What if I go first?” I offered. “If I tell you something I really want that we haven’t done? I’ll be super blunt about it, too, so yours won’t feel as intimidating.”

Atty thought it through for a second before nodding.

Oh boy. Hope he was ready for this.

My grin stretched into what I was sure were catlike proportions as I leaned closer to him. With my finger, I nudged his chin so I could say the words in his ear. “You know I love absolutely every inch of your body, right?”

He shivered. “Yeah.”

My hand dropped lower, curving around the swell of his ass. “Well, I’m particularly taken with this”—I cupped it. Or tried to. It didn’t really fit in my palm. He flinched slightly but didn’t pull away—“part of your anatomy.”

“Yeah?” His voice trembled, like he was bracing himself.

Time to let him have it.

“Almost every single time I’ve jerked off fantasizing about you,” I said, “it’s been about eating you out.”

Atty stiffened, startled. He leaned back to face me, and I had to bite my tongue not to laugh at his wide-eyed expression.

His lips parted—once, twice—but no sound came out. His cheeks were red.

“Does that turn you off?”

He shook his head immediately, and my heart nearly punched its way out of my chest.

“No. It doesn’t. You just threw me off base,” he said, voice uneven.

“Your turn?” I asked gently, hoping he understood he could back out if it was too much.

But he didn’t. Instead, he nodded. His eyes flicked down, and he muttered something that sounded a lot like, “I want you to top me.”

The whole goddamn planet went silent.

Or maybe that was just my brain short-circuiting.

“You want me to do what?” I needed confirmation that I hadn’t hallucinated that.

He clicked his tongue, a small crease decorating his brows.

“No, no—I’m not making fun,” I said quickly, holding up a hand. “I just need to make sure I heard that right, because this is very important, and it deserves my full attention.”

He met my gaze again. “I want you to top. I’ve wanted it for a while. But you said you preferred it the other way around.”

Okay. Yeah. My brain had officially fried.

For a while?

How long was “a while”? How long had he been fantasizing about this?

I cradled his jaw. “Do you remember that whole conversation? Because I remember you asking if I wanted to,and me saying that the answer to fucking you was a resounding yes,” I reminded him.

“But you preferred?—”

I placed a finger over his lips. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want it. We were talking about your first time, and I really wanted you to feel safe. I thought starting as a top might be easier on you.” I lowered my hand.

“Was it like that for you too?”

“Like for my first time? With a guy?”