Page 1 of Becoming Us

CHAPTER

ONE

AFTER

We were dating.

Atty and I were together again, going out on dates.

How the hell I was ever going to wrap my head around this—and stop myself from bouncing and screaming it from the rooftops—I had no idea. I had been so sure I’d lost him for good, and now this was happening.

The one thing I did know was I wasn’t going to screw it up this time. I was going to give him everything he deserved, and for that to work, for us not to keep falling back into old patterns, we needed to set up some ground rules. We had to unlearn the toxic codependency, strip everything down, and build something real.

So, number one: No staying over at my apartment. We would sleep at our respective ones.

Number two: We’d go on three dates a week, no more.

Number three: For the first two months, we wouldn’t define our relationship.

And finally, number four: No sex.

Atty had okayed the first three, but when I added the fourth, his eyebrows had shot up. He didn’t argue, didn’t even ask for a time frame—just nodded. I couldn’t tell if he was surprised, disappointed, or just processing. Sex was our kryptonite, and we had to learn how to work around that. Atty was forever for me. I knew with complete certainty that this man was the love of my life, and I was not going to fuck it up again.

So, no sex. And dates.

The first one was awkward as fuck.

From the moment I pulled up in his driveway and he looked at my car like I had grown a second head, it was weird. He sat there, stiff as a board, his pale eyes staring straight ahead, only giving polite nods or shakes of his head to acknowledge my presence.

The restaurant was full and dimly lit, and Atty looked like a fish out of water. I should’ve picked somewhere easier, somewhere we wouldn’t have to force small talk over candlelight and linen napkins. Sitting across from him now, the whole idea of us making casual conversation over dinner felt ridiculous.

“You’re done for the semester, right?” I asked as the waiter walked away with our order.

“Yeah. Handed in my last term paper today.”

His face could’ve been made of stone.

“I still have one due Monday.” I nodded, like that was worth saying.

He took a sip of his drink—an iced tea—glancing at me for half a second. “And after that, you’re done?”

“Yeah, done.”

I traced the rim of my glass. Why was this so hard? We’d spent six months in agony, desperate to be with each other. Shouldn’t this feel…easier?

“We could go out again on Monday if you like,” Atty said.

The corners of my lips tugged upward. “I’d like that.”

Atty almost smiled back.

“Maybe something early.” He cleared his throat. “I’m leaving for Miami on Tuesday.”

I looked away for a second, swallowing my disappointment before it could show. He was giving me this look, so fucking apprehensive. Of course he could go. He didn’t need my permission. The last thing I wanted was for him to think he did.

“That’s nice, Atty.”

He shrugged, rubbing his knuckles over his lips.