Page 94 of Badd Baby

We reached the patio with its rose-garbed gazebo, where my parents were sitting side by side on a wicker outdoor couch.

Dad, a mug of coffee looking like a toy teacup in his colossal paw, gave me the look I hated more than any other—disappointment. "Duncan, I need a word alone with my daughter." His gaze caught briefly on our joined hands, then flicked to me.

I took a seat on the loveseat facing them. "Just say what you need to say, Dad."

Duncan looked a little panicky, looking from Dad to me and back. "I, uh…I don't mind giving you guys privacy to talk, Rune."

I grabbed his hand, yanked him to the loveseat, and hauled him down to sitting by his belt loop. "I don't need privacy. I need to get this over with. So just say what you need to say so we can all move on."

Mom patted Dad's knee, silencing him before he could answer me. "Rune, you really need to check yourself, honey. This negative, combative attitude isn't helping anyone." She shifted forward off the couch and knelt in front of me, taking my hands. "I know you're scared, upset, and probably pretty angry. I get that. But being petulant and lashing out at everyone who is just trying to help you and be there for you isn't doing you any favors."

My damned stupid eyes burned all over again, and I tipped my head back, sniffing hard and groaning. "Gah! I'm so sick of crying."

Mom squeezed my hands, shockingly hard. "Rune, sweetie, you have to stop fighting your feelings. It's okay.”

"It's not okay!" I shouted, yanking free of her and rocketing to my feet. "Nothing is okay!"

Duncan was there before anyone, dragging me against his chest—his scent enveloped me and his strong arms surrounded me and my breath whooshed out of me and the strength left me. "She means it's okay to feel what you feel. This situation feels impossible—I get that. And I mean I really fucking get it, Rune." He pulled away enough to meet my eyes, brushing my wild, flyaway hair out of my eyes with his middle fingertips. "You're clenching your butthole, figuratively speaking."

I cackled, pulling away. "Wow, that was absolutely not what I expected you to say, Dunc."

He didn't let me go, hauling me back to him. "I know. It's crude, but true. You’re all tensed up and closed off. You're self-isolating. You don't have to lean on me—I'd love it if you did, but I'll understand if you're not there. But your parents, Lindsey, whoever else you have in your life—you can lean on them. You can open up and let go. You're not alone."

I shook my head, tears welling, blurring my vision. "Stop, Dunc. Just stop."

"No." He held the back of my neck in a gentle hand. "Let go."

"I can't," I whispered.

"You can."

I shook my head, struggling to get away. When I thrashed violently against his hold, he was forced to let go. "Leave me alone!"

I staggered away into the grass, unable to see through the blaze of tears, throat hot and tight, lungs a solid block of stone, thoughts and emotions a chaotic, violent hurricane within me.

Strong arms wrapped around me yet again, and I thrashed. "Leave me alone, Duncan!"

Dad's voice rumbled softly in my ear. "It's me, Sweet-Pea. Take a deep breath for me."

"I c-c-can't!" I wailed.

He inhaled slowly, counting. "With me, Rune. One…two…three…four…"

My lungs wouldn’t cooperate. "I c-c-can't!"

He exhaled slowly, through pursed lips, counting. "Out for one…two…three…four."

I fought him. "I don't want to fucking count my goddamn breaths!"

"Gimme all you got, Rune. Yell. Scream. Hit me. Curse me out. Get it out, Sweet-Pea."

It wasn't tears that came out, it was gulping, gagging, throat-searing sobs. "I'm not ready! I don't want this! I didn't ask for this! Any of it! Why couldn't Hayes just have loved me? Why did I waste so much of my life on him? What's wrong with me, Dad? Where did I go wrong? What am I so bad at choosing men? Why is this my life? I just started getting my life together and now this? I don't want it. I don't want any of it. I want to wake up. I want this to be a bad dream. I'm not pregnant. My life isn't over."

Mom's soft hands framed my face. "Your life isn't over, honey. You have choices to make and you're not making them alone. We'll support you through this. So will Linz." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And honestly, baby girl, I think you ought to give Duncan a chance."

That got through. I looked up at her through tear-glazed eyelashes. "Wh-what?"

Mom was crouched in front of me, Dad sitting cross-legged in the grass with me on his lap like I was five all over again, arms around my middle, pinning my arms to my sides, his chin on my shoulder, sucking in slow, soothing, deep breaths.