Page 85 of Badd Baby

I was about to chalk it up to a butt dial when I heard a faint, distant sniffle. "I'm here."

"Uh, hi. You…you know it's, like four in the morning? I don't mean to be rude, Rune, but…did you need something?"

Another sniffle. "I have to tell you something and I don't know how."

My blood ran cold. My hands started shaking. "That sounds ominous." I meant that as a joke, sort of, but it fell very, very flat. "What is it? Just say it, whatever it is."

"I'm pregnant."

Mom gasped, clapping her hand over her mouth, eyes flying wide.

"Who was that?" Rune asked.

"My mom. I was talking to her when you called."

"Oh god. Fuck my life." A pause. "Hi, Mrs. Badd. Um. God, Duncan. You have me on speaker with your mom beside you?"

I shook my head. "Rune, I…are you—"

Mom put her hand over my mouth, then, silencing me. "Duncan, pro-tip from a woman, don't ask that. If she's calling you at four in the morning to tell you she’s pregnant, yes, she's sure."

Rune actually laughed at this, a sniffly laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "Exactly. And it can only be yours, to answer what I imagine is your next question."

"I wasn't going to ask that."

"But it's in your head, so I'm answering it."

I stood up, the chair scraping loudly across the floor. "I…I don't know what to say. How to feel."

A long, thick, burning, tense silence.

"Duncan, I…I just wanted you to know. Okay? I don't expect anything from you. I'll sign anything you want absolving you of any responsibility. I just…you deserve to know. That's…that's all."

"Rune, whoa, hold up. I'm not saying—"

"And I'm saying you don't need to say anything. To be honest, I don't really know what there is to say. We fucked up. The night of the wedding, we…"

I go back in my head to that night. "We were wasted."

"Right," she whispered.

"We obviously didn't use protection," I said.

"I don’t remember, but clearly not."

"Me neither, but clearly not, no."

She sniffed a laugh. "I guess I feel a little better that I'm not the only one who doesn’t remember that night."

"It's all pretty fuzzy for me," I admitted. "Unfortunately. I've got a feeling it's a night I wish I could remember."

"Dunc, god. Don't. Just…don't."

"Rune, I'm not gonna just ignore how I feel. Especially not with this news."

"And then what, Duncan? You're moving to LA? Giving up your job at your family company? Leaving everyone you know and love to come live with me and my parents?" A bitter snap of laughter. "Or I move up there? Because neither of those makes any damn sense, Dunc, and you know it."

“I don't know that. But I'm not gonna—"