Page 33 of Badd Baby

She just laughed. "Girl, you're in trouble."

"He's sweet, and hot as fuck, and gives good orgasms. But my foreseeable future does not include men. This is just a bit of fun before I go back to real life. That's it."

"You don't do casual sex, babe. That's the one hard and fast rule you've never broken. That and always using protection."

"We came so close to doing it without a condom, Linz," I admitted. "Like, scary close.”

"And you weren't drunk?" she asked.

"Not a drop. Just crazy horny."

"H-M-W really did a number on you, mentally, emotionally, and physically," Lindsey said, sighing. "I was honestly worried you'd turn into a spinster after that. I'm really glad to hear your libido is back."

"Me too, to be honest," I said. "If nothing else, I'll have to thank Duncan for flipping that switch back on."

"You can thank him by giving him lots and lots of hot monkey sex," she said, laughing. "Maybe even throw in a few spontaneous, just-because blowjobs."

"Do you do that for your boyfriends?" I asked.

"You know, I haven't had a real boyfriend in almost a year. Not since Damian. I've had a few longer-term situationships, but I haven't dated anyone seriously since Damian."

"That's understandable. That was messy." I paused. “But it doesn’t answer my question."

"Everyone is different, Rune," she said.

"Linz."

She sighed. "I'm weird about B-Js, okay? I talk mad game, but I'm actually kinda shy about it.”

"You are a terrible liar, Lindsey."

"I'm not lying! Like I said, I talk a lot of shit, but it's all shit."

"You're all talk, you mean."

"No! I like sex. I love sex. But…" she trailed off with a sigh. "Why are we talking about me?"

“Because we've done nothing but talk about me since everything happened with Hayes. I care about you. I don’t want to talk about me anymore. I want to put the Hayes Motherfucking Willoughby chapter of my life behind me."

"You know my stuff, Rune. Everything that happened with Danny when I was twelve. Acting out afterward. Going to therapy. I'm doing better, but I'm just…I’m still messed up. It's hard. I like sex, but I still get hung up. Especially about oral stuff. I know I should be past it by now, but I'm not. And it's not something I can talk to people about. Especially not guys." She went quiet. "That's why Damian left me, actually."

I gaped at the phone. “Lindsey! You told me it was mutual!"

"I lied,” she admitted on a sigh. “I was embarrassed. He broke up with me because I'm weird about sex. He's a big oral guy. He loves getting B-Js, almost more than sex, and loves going down on girls. We’d spend hours on foreplay."

I coughed. “Hours? I call bullshit."

"Maybe not actually hours, but a long fucking time. An hour at least, and I did time that, once. It can be fun, but it's exhausting. Sometimes I just wanted to fuck and go to sleep, but all he wanted to do was play around all night. I got tired of the foreplay. And while I was mostly okay with the oral stuff, after a while it'd…it'd start to mess with me. Because that's what Danny used to make me do to him. I've done a lot of fucking therapy to get past it. Faced my issues. Learned how to block the memories out so I can enjoy intimacy. I didn't want to let what Danny did to me keep me from enjoying every aspect of sex, and I've mostly succeeded. But I’m still weird about it. So the short answer is that no, I don't typically go down on guys until I’m comfortable with them. Because sometimes I still freak out. Not often, but it happens. And if I'm with some random dude from the bar or whatever, and I freak out because I have a flashback or something, it gets messy and awkward. He thinks he did something and how do I explain that it’s not him without dumping my whole cargo ship full of trauma on the poor unsuspecting schmuck?"

"God, Linz, I'm such a shitty friend. I'm sorry."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Rune, don't be an idiot. I didn’t talk about it on purpose."

"But I'm your best friend, Linz. You should be able to talk to me about this stuff. I tell you everything."

"Rune, I love you. You're my best friend, and the only person I truly trust. I mean that. But the whole ‘I was molested’ thing is something I don't talk about to anyone except my therapist. It's messy, painful, and talking about it doesn't really do anything. I have coping strategies. I'm okay."

"Linz, babe. You lied to me about why you and Damian broke up. How would you feel if the situations were reversed?" I sighed. "Look, you have the right to handle it however you want. I know that. You don't owe me anything. I won't bring it up. But know that I'm here. I love you. I'm here for you."