Page 103 of Badd Baby

Rune blinked hard. "Linz, I—"

"Rune, listen to me. When you found out about Hayes cheating on you, you treated it almost like a death."

“It felt like one," Rune admitted.

"But why? Who died? Can you really sit there and tell me that you loved Hayes that much?"

"No," Rune admitted, her tone small and miserable. "The more time passes, the more I…" she looked at me, then. "The more I realize what being in love really means, and the more I realize I didn't love him at all. I wanted to love him. I wanted him to love me."

"So what was it you were mourning?" Lindsey pressed.

"You obviously have a theory," Rune said, "so share it. Stop trying to drag it out of me."

"What use is a psychology degree if I can't use it on my friends?" Lindsey asked. "But fine. You were mourning the death of the life you really wanted. You went into college wanting to meet a guy, fall in love, get married, have kids…"

Rune pulled away from Lindsey and paced in circles, raking her hands through her hair. “It kinda sounds like you're saying that deep down I want to be a stay-at-home mom."

"Yes, and?" Lindsey said. "Do you have a problem with that?"

Rune groaned. "Not on principle, but—"

"But what?" Lindsey shook her hands. "Just…put that aside. Forget all that for a second. What do you want, right now? Close your eyes and think about. Really think about it."

Rune closed her eyes, went still, and tipped her head back. She was quiet for a long time.

When she opened her eyes again, they found mine. "You. I want you. I want us. I don't want to do this alone." She cast her gaze from Lindsey to her parents. "I don't mean alone, I know I have you guys. I just meant—"

"We all know what you meant, Sweet-Pea," Tom rumbled.

I stood up and went over to her, threading my fingers with hers. "Just putting this out there, Rune. But, um, you may be aware that my family sort of owns a business. And you have a business degree. I know Alaskan bars ain’t exactly the glamorous business world of Los Angeles, but there's always plenty to do, and I don't mean waiting tables or pouring drinks. We need a dedicated administrative director, for one thing. Delia is wearing, like, sixty different hats on the admin side of the Badd's Bar stuff and could really use someone competent, and preferably in the family, to take some of that load off. So, if you're willing to take a risk on me and on Ketchikan, I can promise you that you won't ever be bored. And if it’s not a Badd's bar, there are plenty of aunts, uncles, and cousins with businesses to go around. Do you like the idea of working in real estate? Mama Livvie runs a brokerage. The art world? Aunt Eva runs galleries in three states. I can go on."

Rune laughed. "Okay, okay. I get it."

I ran my thumb over her lips. "I really want to kiss you right now, but I won't." I smiled at her. "I just want to be with you, Rune. Whatever that looks like, wherever it is. Here, Ketchikan, Timbuktu—wherever the fuck that is—it doesn’t matter. We'll work it out, one way or another. I just want you to know that you have options. I'll do everything I can to make sure you're happy and fulfilled. If that's working with us in the bars, great. If it's something else, great. If it's staying home with our kid, great. I just don't want you to think that you’re trapped or limited. You're not. And if you don't know exactly what you want yet, that's fine too."

For a moment or two, she just looked into my eyes, searching me. Thinking. Deciding.

"I think…" she trailed off, started again, a smile spreading across her face. "I think I'm moving to Alaska."

Chapter Sixteen

Rune

The last two weeks have been insane. Duncan and I have been working like crazy to merge our lives, but in so doing, have barely seen each other. Mom and Dad needed help getting ready for their sabbatical—Dad stepped away from his BJJ classes, but was re-entering the Strongman world again, doing some comps that lined up with some of Mom's planned stops throughout Europe, researching for her next book. This meant helping them sort through things at the house, since they were now seriously considering making Ketchikan their home base once I’ve moved there; I've also had to pack my condo, ship things to Ketchikan, and get the condo sold. I needed money, though, so I’ve also had to keep working.

I've been back to Ketchikan twice since that conversation in my parents' living room, and we've looked at a few places together, but until we find the right place, the plan is for me to stay with Duncan at his parents' house. Which is gonna be weird, but his parents are awesome. Bast was a little scary and intimidating at first, what with the six-four frame and giant muscles, growly voice, and the tattoos, but once I got to know him, I realized he's a lot like my own dad—gruff, rough, and intimidating, but sweet and loveable once you get past that.

Today was my first official prenatal doctor's visit…in Ketchikan.

Duncan sat beside me, knee bouncing a mile a minute, while he picked at hangnails on his left thumb. I grabbed that hand and pressed both of our hands down on his knee, which was thumping so loudly the whole waiting room was vibrating. "Duncan," I whispered. "Relax. It's a standard prenatal visit. There's nothing to be nervous about."

He sucked in a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. "Sorry. I have a totally irrational dislike of doctor's offices."

I gave him a confused frown. "Why? Did something happen?"

He snorted. "No, thus my use of the word 'irrational.' I just…" he let out a sighing, self-deprecating laugh. "It's stupid. I just feel like if I go to a doctor's office, I'm gonna get bad news. It's ridiculous and I know it is, but every time I’m in a waiting room, my stupid brain spins all sorts of absurd worst-case scenarios. And now it's not about me—it's about you and the life inside you, and the irrational fear is even worse."

I squeezed his hand. "Everything is going to be fine, Dunc."