Page 71 of Artemysia

“After him, I wanted much more from the world.”- Delphine

Two months later

I vy hasn’t sent word that Riev is awake, though we have been writing each other. Hawks and falcons are able to deliver our letters, since Syf no longer interfere or control the messenger birds we send.

King Foss offered her an honorary role in his personal guard, so she can train with them.

Or in her case—she might be training them.

She’s also been working at the Syf confectionary and is now an official apprentice, having won them over.

I hear she’s come up with some odd concoctions and flavor combinations, and during breaks, she’s teaching the rest of the staff how to throw knives.

Eira has a batch of blue tea waiting for her in the evenings when she comes home.

Between the two jobs, Ivy has found the right mix of violence and wholesome for her that keeps her feeling safe and happy.

I stay in my role at the Academy, as captain to a hundred soldiers.

It’s chaos for a while, as King Galke and the Academy reorganize their strategy in this changed world.

Are Syf still the enemy, or potential allies?

What about North Kingdom? There is talk of retribution for the decades of damage they’ve done to our people.

They also worry that the North will invade us for our resources in the mountains.

King Galke, his advisors, and the colonels debate endlessly about the politics, strategy, and future of Stargazer.

On my next request of absence, I see my father.

He’s moved out of Stargazer to a plot of land near the West River.

I’m happy to see that he has no grays in his dark brown hair yet.

He seems hopeful for the future, even though the sadness around his eyes will probably never vanish.

He’s gained muscle, and his skin is sun-kissed again, like it was when I was little.

Of course, he’s bought several new books for me, and I take them back to the Academy. Now that the outer regions are safe from rabid Syf, he will start his elk farm again. He’s missed the countryside.

I promise to send him money so we can save up for it. Perhaps I can take more time off to help him on the farm.

My shelves at the Academy are full, so I take my books to the clock tower.

The tower is still where I go when I need to think—when I need to escape. Owlfred has been around, leaving owl pellets full of mice bones and small bird beaks. I sweep them away and pour out berries into a bowl for him.

Lifting the lid to my storage chest, I rearrange the existing books so there’s room for the new ones.

I can’t bear to rummage to the bottom of the trunk.

I know my candied pearfruit is still stashed in its tin, and I’d promised Riev he could have the rest for his twenty-sixth birthday. In our generation, it isn’t uncommon to die before thirty because of the Syf. None of my other lovers made it. Why should this one be any different?

But perhaps the next generation will be different. It’s why I risked life and limb, heart and soul.

I think I’ve made a difference in the world .

It’s all I wanted.

It was all I wanted, until Riev.

After him, I wanted much more from the world. Love. Passion. Attachment.

He may never wake , I tell myself.

Even if he does, he might not know who he is anymore. Many other Syf have lost their memories after being cured. At least it’s a brand-new start for them, in a way.

I don’t want to ruin the dyed leather covers of my new books, so I squeeze back the tears.

A flutter at the window interrupts my heart-rending thoughts.

I sigh a heavy breath. Without turning, I reach up to place the berries on the rafters. “Okay, Owlfred—no biting,” I remind him, my palm still bearing the beak-shaped scab where he fought me for berries upon my return to Stargazer. He didn’t appreciate how long I was gone, apparently.

A low male voice rumbles behind me. “What if I bite you?”

I whirl around, feeling the blood drain from my face. I’d locked the door behind me downstairs.

Across the tower room, a familiar cloaked figure leans against the windowsill. I stare open-mouthed, my breath unsteady with disbelief.

Riev? He climbed up the side of the clock tower?

Does he remember anything…everything?

Dragging my gaze over him, I don’t dare blink. He’s thinner, with slight purple circles under the hollows of his eyes. His hair is longer. But the silvery gleam in his glare and the scowl attempting to hide the grin breaking through his freshly shaven face are characteristically Riev.

I swallow down the flood of emotions that threatens to choke me. “Ivy said she’d send word if you woke up,” I stammer. “I would’ve come—”

“I couldn’t wait. I needed to see you, Elphie.”

He remembers. How much does he remember?

I want to run to him but force myself to hold back, willing my knees to stop trembling.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to. I killed you.” My bottom lip quivers even as I bite it to keep it still .

He lingers by the window.

“I promised you I wouldn’t die by a Syf hand.” Riev tips his head, cocky as ever. “And you didn’t kill me. You saved me.”

A strangled noise leaves my throat as I take a step forward, unsteady.

My legs are about to give out. I’m not sure why I’m shaking, until I realize I’m crying.

All the hurt and pain of losing him—all the guilt I held on to for months that his demise was by my hand, my dagger, my fault—comes pouring out uncontrollably down my face.

In three supernaturally fast strides, his arms are around me. He holds me captive in a tight embrace. “I’m still fast and powerful. And…I kept my fangs,” he whispers, hot in my ear. “Thanks to you.” The sharp edge of a tooth drags against my earlobe, sending a shiver down my spine.

“You’re welcome?” I sob shamelessly.

He kisses the streaming teardrops off my cheeks and chin, grazing his sharp incisors across my neck, nipping slightly. This stops the crying, replaced by a sharp gasp escaping my lips. I press my hips against him, letting him lift me into his arms as I straddle my legs around his waist.

“I need you with me in Artemysia,” he says. “I have to make up for the damage I’ve done and take on my role as a true leader. I’m no longer an assassin. You’ve helped me find my purpose in life, but it’s you who gives it meaning. I never want to be without you. Ever.”

My mouth slams onto his, drawing his lips into mine. Woodsy, warm, wanting.

I’ll never get enough of kissing him. Not when I thought I’d lost him forever.

He sets me back on my feet as I blink up at him.

“What will I do there? I’m not Syf.”

“Ivy isn’t either, but she fits right in. There’s a chance they’re too scared to tell her what to do. I’m a fucking Syf prince, Elphie.” His voice drops. “We know how much you like princes.”

“Don’t—”

He smiles unapologetically, his tongue running along his fangs absently.

“Before I came to find you, I had a meeting with High King Galke and the colonels of Stargazer in my first official role representing Artemysia. It went something like this: ‘Remember me, motherfuckers?’”

I sniffle and stifle a laugh.

He goes on, looking at me in a way that makes me want to sell my very soul, if only to see his gaze linger for a moment longer.

“The king and colonels want you and Throg to be the royal liaisons between Stargazer and Artemysia. King Foss has decided to open communications. Isolating themselves only prolonged both kingdoms’ suffering.

If he had our help earlier, we might have resolved the rabid Syf issue sooner.

He’s considering resuming trade. They need raw metals.

I bet he’s excited about all the contracts he gets to write up.

” He snickers. “Yours would be a diplomatic role, with a sizable pay raise. You’d make more than a colonel.

Hell, Galke would let you be a colonel if you wanted that thrown in. ”

He pulls out a crimson cravat from his pants pocket and ties it around the end of my braid.

Sizable pay raise. I could help my father start his elk farm more quickly, now that the Syf attacks have subsided. Diplomacy. Colonel. Crimson. I’ve made it. All the blood, sweat, and tears it took. I’m going to start sobbing again.

“Blink once if you heard me,” Riev says, making me laugh instead.

He drags a thumb across my jaw, swiping away the last of my tears. “You’re the only one the colonels trust to do the job. I also reminded them that you and Throg are the only humans the Artemysian Syf will deal with.”

I clasp my arms around his shoulders, clutching him to me. My hands skim against hard knobs on his back, where his scars crisscross over his spine. His sharp intake of air tells me they’re sensitive.

My eyes widen, questioning him.

He rotates, showing me iridescent segments that press out of hemmed cutouts in his shirt made to accommodate them. I count the colors that shimmer in the light:

Violet, blue, green, gold, crimson .

“The healers think it’s possible my wings are growing back—in more colors than normal for Syf they said,” he says proudly.

He turns back to me. His face cracks into a sly, crooked grin. “And I found out what they’re used for…

“Wings?” Oh gods. Along with those ridges that stretch me …

My throat catches when I think of the tantalizing details of his massive erection. A throb of pleasure pulses between my legs, making me bear down on the emptiness.

His hands run along the waistband of my pants, unhooking my belt, unbuttoning the top buttons so that his finger pads drift over the silk of my underwear, caressing me hesitantly as if this were all brand new to him again.

I’m already yearning and wet for him, but he has yet to find out. I press a hard kiss to his lips and feel his cock hardening against my belly.

I grip his steely length with both hands as he lets out a ragged groan.

“Is your heart healed?” I ask, even though being practical lies at the bottom of my priorities right now.

“Almost. The healers said it took longer than normal. Uncle Foss keeps ‘joking’ that my heart must be more human than Syf—as much as that guy can joke, that is. He’s trying his best to bond with me.

I gotta give him credit. Unlike King Galke, Foss doesn’t keep me at arm’s length like a dangerous guard dog. ”

Riev’s gaze flicks up through dark lashes, and his voice grows ruinously raw as his knuckles stroke my low belly. He drifts lower, until his palm cups me roughly between my thighs.

“But my heart will never completely heal if I can’t be with you.” At you , he thrusts aside the hem of my underwear and slides a finger into me.

I know what he wants to hear, and I say it from the depths of my every being.

“I’m yours, Riev.”

His cock against my hip twitches at my words. “That’s all I need to hear.”

He spins me around by the shoulders and bends me over the storage trunk by my feet, lowering me to my knees. He leaves my pants around my thighs, so that I can’t spread my legs as wide as I want, leaving me to squirm with need. But as he pushes in, he feels larger, thicker somehow.

He’s on one knee, his other foot planted beside me in a kneeling lunge so he can drive into me, leaving no space between us.

With a hand splayed across my right breast, he grasps me to him. My hips rock back to his, hitching up to meet him. His cock slides in the rest of the way between my folds, hard and fast.

“I’m going to fuck you like I own you—,” he breathes into the back of my neck, nipping to find the most tender spot, perhaps judging by the volume of my whimpers.

He bites me there, holding me in place, while his thumb teases a nipple.

My body jerks as he holds tight, and I moan out his name, relishing the edge between hurt and ecstasy.

“—But we both know I belong to you ,” he growls between his teeth. “You burn through my veins like poison. Don’t ever stop.”

He sucks in a breath as I meet his movements, as he withdraws almost all the way before pushing back in. “I love you, Elphie.”

“I love you,” I pant out, breathless at how fast I am about to find release. I’m wet as hell and it seeps down my thighs as I come. “Riev!” I cry out for him, knowing exactly what I want, body and soul.

Him.

He’s what I want, and I’m not afraid to tell him, to show him, to be with him.

Unafraid to love. Unafraid, because I already lived out my worst fear. To fully surrender to the fear of love and attachment is…freeing, and I’ve let down the barriers I erected to protect myself.

Have I made a difference in the world?

Yes, I think I have.

And I’ll continue to do so in my own unique, messy way.

I can be strong and have deep emotions. I can doubt myself and panic and cry inside, but I can still believe in myself, because in the end—

I care.

I love.

I trust my heart.

And that’s all that matters.

I will return with Riev to Artemysia.

Into the forest, with my Syf prince.