Page 62 of Artemysia

“A storm rages in the thundercloud gray of his eyes.” - Delphine

D o I search the manor? If I leave, the guards will know Riev escaped, and he doesn’t need to be in more trouble than he already is.

I need air, so I draw back the curtains to the open window.

A fingernail moon hangs in the night sky next to a half-moon.

Both Major and Minor Moon have risen. The familiarity of their respective copper and lavender illumination offers a bit of comfort in this strange kingdom.

The shutters are open, and while the climb is steep, I could probably make it if I had to.

If Riev’s legs were still numb from the drugs in his scotch, he could have slipped. Bracing myself in case I see his crumpled body on the lawn, I take a quick peek over the ledge of the window.

Nothing. Whew.

Riev must have escaped.

I slip a small knife from my trunk since I lost Ivy’s dagger. I feel safer with a blade under my pillow when sleeping alone in an unfamiliar place.

There’s no reason to undress before crawling into bed—Riev isn’t around to tell me I’ll dirty up the bed in my “outdoor” clothes.

It’s been a long, incredibly exhausting night, and I can’t stay awake any longer.

Wherever he went, I know he would never ditch me.

I just need to close my eyes and absorb what I’ve learned this evening.

It changes everything Riev and I have ever known.

Will it change everything between us?

Maybe I should’ve told him before how I felt about him.

In case there isn’t another chance to do so.

What will he do now? Will he accept his status as nephew to King Foss and heir to Artemysia? My strategic brain can’t help but admit this would be the best possible choice for him. Though, the best strategic choice for me may have been to take Toryl’s offer.

I spin the knob of the gas lamp until it’s completely dark.

As I lay there debating whether I should stay the next day or take what I know and get back to Throg and Ivy, the crunching of wooden ivy branches outside the window has me bounding off the bed. I slip my knife from under my pillow and press my back against the wall beside the shutters.

The curtains shift, and a dark figure clambers over the edge and lands softly on his feet.

The moonlight illuminates a silhouette with a knot of dark hair.

Tension breaking, I lower my knife. “What were you doing out there?”

My voice startles Riev and he whirls around, striking my hand. My blade clangs across the room, spinning under the bed.

“Delphine?” A storm rages in the thundercloud gray of his eyes.

“What’s the matter? Are you hurt?” I’m relieved to see him. He seems to be in one piece, albeit furious.

“ What’s the matter ? After you chose the prince?” he murmurs dangerously, stalking away from the window, backing away from me.

“No, I didn’t—”

“Did you enjoy the sex? Then the romantic dancing after?” He keeps his voice low and controlled, as if it pains him to say it and he’s bracing against the hurt .

“Oh, that’s right. We’re not on a mission or anything. You know we’re here to play a role, my lord ?” I bite back, making no attempt to mask my sarcasm. “I understood when you flirted with Toryl’s cousins at the start of the night. To gather information .”

“Did you fuck him?” He bristles, and his fists ball up by his sides. He’s going to punch the wall.

“Of course not!” My voice rises, incensed that he would think such a thing.

“Why did you send me away?” he growls, his tone accusing.

“To save us both from prison . Stop being an ass. Why are you climbing the walls?”

“I went to burn down the fucking palace to rescue you.”

I go quiet for a moment. “You did?”

“But there you were, dancing with the prince, looking at him like he wasn’t a total idiot.”

“He offered me a job. As queen. Nothing happened.”

“Liar,” he snarls. “You’d be his queen? Marry that elk turd? I’m going to tear out his beating heart with my bare hands.”

He closes the distance between us with one long-legged stride.

The bewitching allure of his juniper scent reminds me of what I want.

Him.

“Lower your voice. Stop shouting at me—the entire palace will hear.” It’s my turn to growl. “I politely declined. Offered to knee him in the balls instead.”

His lips twitch. He stares at me as if stripping me bare. That liquid-fire stare of his burns through my every being, and the intensity distracts me from what I want to say, so I force my eyes shut for a deep breath.

“Doesn’t it get exhausting?” He sighs in exasperation, his shoulders dropping. “To be in charge of such an asshole?”

My anger cracks.

We’re nose to nose. He’s pressed me to the wall, inching closer so that I feel the heat coming off him from his climb up the wall.

“Riev, the world is Syf. The East River is poisoning them. Even the flowers don’t bloom along the banks,” I say to him, for no reason except it’s what I can’t get out of my head, that the world is getting uglier, even as we fight through our feelings for each other.

His throat bobs. “That’s what I discovered too.” He keeps his hands off me, though I wish he wouldn’t.

I don’t know why it’s so intoxicating, but up close, the faint scent of his sweat makes my pulse thrum.

I want it on me. My body hums with desire, and it’s becoming very difficult to think, when all my awareness is on how close his lips are to mine, how he presses his hips to mine, how my nipples tighten in response with each rise and fall of his chest on mine.

I want all of him. It’s what I hunger for in the darkness of my emotions.

He slaps a palm against the wall beside my head, caging me in. “And you wish to be his queen.” His breath adds honeyed mead into the mix.

I ignore his ridiculous accusation. “And you thought to have more mead before climbing back up?”

“Only to wash out the taste of the sick show I had to watch—of you in the prince’s arms. Fuck it, Delphine. You burn like poison in my veins. I can’t take it.” His dark, lust-ridden voice sets me on fire.

“Don’t be stupid. Do you know what else I discovered?”

“What? That someone like him can offer you all you could ever want?” Jealousy ripples out of him again, his face absolutely savage in the light of the two moons.

“No.” My tone is clipped. “Stop it.”

“That son of a—”

“I said stop, Riev. You’re all I could ever want.”

His expression hardens. “And…you sorted through your feelings after, what, dancing with one other man? Did you actually think about this, or are you just reacting to avoid facing your deeper thoughts and emotions?”

I’m taken aback by his insight into my psyche. Is this what I’m doing?

Perhaps he’s right. I also don’t want to argue anymore. “How can you not be in a panic, knowing what we know now?”

“It is what it is.” He spins away from me, but I grasp his forearm.

“Nothing is as we thought it was! How can I make good decisions now, when I don’t know anything? ”

His jaw grinds as he stares out the window. But then his temper thaws and his voice softens. “You go on as you always do. You always make the right decisions.”

“I thought I did. But I was wrong.”

“About what?” He narrows his eyes. “About…me?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to hear this. I’m out,” he snaps. He moves toward the window, swinging a leg up over as if he means to climb back out again.

“No. I was wrong not to let you know… I should have said—”

My chest tightens as I struggle to get the right words out. The air is sucked out of my lungs, consumed by what I’m about to admit.

“You’re—you’re a good decision, Riev. My good decision. One who…I need.” I haven’t stopped thinking about his words during the carriage ride—how he needed me—because of how deeply they affected me.

I want him to feel the same.

He doesn’t respond at first, though his eyes drink me in as if he will never quench his thirst. Slowly, he drops from the window as I step forward.

My hand finds his without looking, and his fingers curl around mine. He’s already close, so I rise and press my lips against his warm cheek. Barely touching. I’m afraid he will retreat—that he won’t believe me.

The air practically crackles between us.

He closes his eyes, letting out a ragged exhale. Tension eases from his face, but he seizes both my wrists and presses them up against the cold, stone wall. His chest meets mine, grazing my breasts. His cock thickens against me.

My heart stumbles when his mouth devours mine, his tongue pressing my lips apart, consuming me.

“You’re just using me to forget about the world,” he says onto my bare skin, trailing kisses down my throat. “But fuck it, I don’t care.”

His voice rumbles deep in his throat as he drags down the hem of my neckline to expose my chest. He kisses harder as he glides his tongue over my breast, ever close to that aching peak.

My nipple has already pebbled into a dark, rosy bead that I wish he would clamp between his teeth as he did at the cave pools .

“I don’t care,” he rasps. “Use me.”

Use him? Because everyone else in his life has used him for something, and I refuse to allow him to think I would do the same.

“No. I need you to understand…that…you mean something to me. You matter to me. You’re not someone to be used, but someone who deserves to be cared for. And I care, more than you know. I need you, too.”

He stops kissing the curve of my breast and staggers back. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it—”

“Don’t make a big deal out of it. I’m declaring my feelings for no other reason except that I feel them, and I want you to know. In a world like ours, there may not be another chance to say it. Just accept it.”

“That sounds like an order. You tell me that I mean something to you, then command me to accept it.” He grins wryly.

“You know how much I love giving orders. It’s how I save the world. One order at a time.”

He grasps my chin with his thumb and finger, tilting it up to him to meet the dark intensity he possesses at all times.

I’m molten inside from that simple touch.