Page 14 of Artemysia

“Emotion is not a weakness.” - Delphine

“N o three-piece suit today?” I offer, to lighten the mood as we ride at a walk toward the city walls.

I’m not petty. As a leader, I can’t hold grudges.

I can overlook that Riev refused the mission after he found out Throg and I were to join him.

Even though he pretty much argued to the entire war room that I wasn’t capable of completing this assignment.

Just like the damn colonels who voted against my last promotion.

It hits my deepest fear—that I’m never good enough.

But I remind myself that my sights are set on our overall mission, and I have nothing to prove. I was chosen out of five thousand men and women. Chosen by King Galke as much as Riev was.

“Did you like how I looked in a suit?” he asks gruffly.

He did look amazing cleaned up, but I’m not going to admit it and give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

“Barely noticed. I was only admiring the craftsmanship of the tailoring.”

He bristles. “Captain. You found me at a low point. Drunk and dirty. Sad, defeated, injured. If you were willing to kiss that , there’s no way you’d find me unattractive now, suit or no suit.”

“Pfft. What an asshat,” I mumble under my breath.

Our elk trot over the cobblestone road, their hoofbeats loud enough to muffle my words. We only slow to a walk to pass through the outer gates of the city under the large granite archway of Stargazer.

“That didn’t sound anything like ‘handsome.’”

“I prefer the alley cat version of you.”

Well, that did it. He stiffens, his face pinching. I may as well have said that I didn’t like him at all.

“Listen, the only reason I’m here is that I don’t want you to die.”

“That’s noble, but I can take care of myself. How in the world have I made it this far in life without you?”

“No doubt, but not in the forest. You’re a wide-eyed child who knows nothing about Artemysia. You probably think of this as an adventure.”

I can’t refute that, never having been in the woods of Artemysia.

The closest I’ve gotten was a skirmish to drive out Syf invading a small village, then staying to arm and train the villagers for the future.

Even at a distance, the Syf forest loomed like a black velvet shroud over the horizon, as if no light ever passed through the trees.

As discreetly as possible, I sneak a glance over my shoulder to make sure Throg and Ivy don’t hear Riev undermining me. They trail behind, but the cadence of their voices tells me they’re still bantering like crazy.

Throg looks utterly enthralled.

I haven’t seen this much delight on his face since I gifted him a machete with a bone handle fitted to his large grip for his birthday three years ago.

Ivy is showing him all her custom-made weapons and how she uses each one to gut Syf, judging by her animated hand motions.

I like her enthusiasm.

Turning back to Riev, I cut him a cool glance. “Don’t act like you’re an old wise warrior jaded by life. I’ve been fighting Syf for almost as long as you have. Plus, I’m your captain. You might be allowed to be vulgar to the king, but not to me. I don’t allow it.”

He smirks. “Who are you going to report me to out in the woods? Throg?”

My fist curls to deck him for such a cocky response.

But I want more information, so I unclench my hand and try a different tactic.

“I like when you’re honest. It’s important to me. Plus, I bested you in the alley—” Riev snorts, but I cut him off faster than he can spew out another snide comment “—and you promised not to lie, but then you claimed to be a messenger. So you owe me one. I’ve won the right, and the respect.”

He actually considers this.

Our tall elks’ gaits sync up, and we ride side-by-side. The road outside of Stargazer is worn and wide but unpaved. The agricultural villages are grouped closer together at first but will become fewer and farther between in about another two-hour ride north.

“Agreed,” he finally says. “I’ll never lie to you again.”

Now we’re getting somewhere. “What do you have on the king for him to grant such irreverence? Such leeway?”

“It’s their own doing. I’m the devil they created, killing on command from the shadows. I don’t ask questions, and they don’t ask me to be human, because in their eyes there’s no way I can be human and do what I do.”

I don’t know if he realizes his teeth are grinding, so we ride in silence for a bit. My gut says there’s more to his story, and I give him the space to gather his thoughts rather than interrogating him.

It works.

“Plus, I saved the king’s life,” he continues. “Galke’s caravan was attacked while he was visiting his brother, and I slaughtered the band of Syf after his guards were killed. With an old pitchfork.”

“When?”

“Fifteen years ago.”

“You were…”

“Ten years old. I wanted to see his procession and the six cream elk that pulled the royal carriage. I suppose I have a propensity for killing. Since then, he’s provided for me, from afar, and had me trained as an assassin, a spy, or whatever they needed that your pretty, uniformed, face-of-the-military couldn’t be asked to do. ”

I scoff and start a protest, but he cuts me off.

“Either because you’re not capable of doing what I do or because it didn’t fit with defending the people. Let’s say my duties are more of the covert, preemptive tactics of offense type.”

“Like?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I’m asking, aren’t I?” I’m presuming it’s a dark, violent answer. I resist looking at him, so as not to pressure him, and instead stare out at the empty dirt road ahead that carves through the farmlands of South Kingdom.

Riev doesn’t reply.

We pass another field of golden wheat stalks cut short by the autumn harvest. I scan my surroundings; there’s a small farmhouse in the distance. Everything looks normal so far. Not much can hide in the dense, short pastures around us.

It never hurts to be vigilant.

Just as I’m about to give up waiting for an answer, he speaks, his voice so low that I strain to hear him. “I was sent to assassinate a lord of the outer villages near Serpent’s Moon Mountain who controls the mines there.”

I subtly steer my elk closer, because he’s mumbling.

“He denied residents who wished to join the Academy. Instead, he formed his own army, aspiring to rule his own country. His lands were far enough from theforest that they didn’t have to worry about Syf.”

“And you killed the lord,” I say as neutrally as possible.

Riev turns to me as if to gauge my reaction. “I did. Along with the colonel colluding with him. Executed her for treason.”

“Colonel Vanna’s disappearance was because of you?” I try to hide my shock behind a steady voice, but I have no idea if I’m successful. My heartbeat drowns out the sound of my own words.

I search his face for regret or remorse, but there is none. No emotion. At first, it disturbs me to the core, but when I place myself in his position and imagine having to kill a man that way, I’d try not to feel anything either.

A heavy exhale escapes my lips. “You…kill people as well as Syf.”

“An elk turd of a man, but I warned him first. Told the lord I’d convince Galke to let him live if he pledged loyalty.

But he declined. And Galke didn’t want to have to fight Syf in the north and a competing kingdom to the south that controlled the metals, diamonds, and opals from Serpent’s Moon.

It would take away resources from protecting people from Syf.

Something like that.” His shoulders lift in a quick shrug.

“You could always refuse the job,” I say quietly, still horrified.

“Do you refuse your assignments?” he counters.

He has a valid point. I have never turned down a mission.

Riev continues. “Then I’d have a bounty on my head.

Galke would twist things and accuse me of murdering the lord and colonel.

Expose me for all the assassinations I’ve done for him.

They’d rather put me in prison than not know where I am and risk me working against them with all the secrets I know.

I could survive, but who wants to live like that ?

” He spits out the words. “They always find a way to get you to do what they want. It’s all I’ve ever known—and I’m good at it. I used to feel useful.”

“And now?”

“Now, I’m just a dispensable alley cat.”

“Ha. Who dresses nice to hide how dirty he feels inside?” I blurt, the words dying on my lips when I catch his entire expression fall.

He glances sideways and drags his icy gray stare over me.

I didn’t expect him to take it personally. I meant it only as snarky banter, seeing that to be his preference when we interact.

He’s dead silent.

My chest constricts. It was a thoughtless joke, but I apparently hit the nail on the head and drove it in to where his walls spring back up. Throg says I read people well. Sometimes too well. I use it to my advantage in battle or negotiation, but I would never hurt someone for fun.

“I didn’t mean—” I begin.

The corners of his mouth turn up slightly, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“That’s exactly how you should see me. Filth. As fucking wicked as I am handsome.” He’s back to being aloof with a side of vulgar.

He’s retreating, and it’s not what I want at all.

“You know that’s not true. It’s not how I see you at all,” I insist, but the damage is done.

Riev refuses to meet my gaze and drives his elk forward.

He’s shut down. Hell, right when I was getting somewhere.

“Riev,” I call after him. “We’ve all had to engage in wretched behavior in this war with Syf. To survive. I’m good at it, but I hate the killing,” My voice breaks on the word hate . It stabs me in the gut. “There’s…no other way.”

He doesn’t look back at me. “No, there is not.” His words come clipped, his voice coarse and low.