Page 4

Chapter 4

Graham

“Julia! Looking gorgeous, like always!” I smile as Julia, Chloe, and Nathan climb into my truck. “Nathan, move. Let her have the front. She looks better than you.”

“Uhm, no. Thanks, though.” Julia quickly buckles herself into the back seat. “Nathan can stay there—long legs and everything. Besides, I want to sit with Chloe.”

“Okay.” I clear my throat, feeling a little uncomfortable. I should keep a tally of every time she rejects me. Maybe seeing it will encourage me. Failure leads to success. I think I saw a sign like that in the locker room.

I bought Julia a new backpack after school and put it in the front seat for her. Wishful thinking, I guess. I grab it before Nathan sits on it, not sure what to do. It isn’t anything special. It’s bright yellow because I know it’s her favorite color, but it has a reinforced bottom, so hopefully it won’t break. I turn to Chloe, taking a minute to find my equilibrium. “Chloe! You are also looking great.”

Chloe smirks. “Oh, Graham. You are not helping your case here.” I smile at her in the rearview mirror, while driving out of the neighborhood. I glance at Julia and see her blankly staring out the window. I am awkwardly driving with one hand, the other occupied by the new bag.

“What’s with the bag, Graham?” Nathan asks. Julia’s eyes shoot forward and her jaw drops a little.

“It’s for Julia if she wants it.” Okay, normally I’m a little smoother than this. I think. I hope. Whatever. I try to hand it to her, but I end up hitting Nathan in the face. Chloe starts to laugh, and Nathan scowls at everyone.

“Just let me.” He grabs the bag and purposely hits me in the head while passing it back to Julia.

“Hey! No abusing the driver!”

“What? Abuse? Did I hit you? I’m so sorry!” Nathan says, pretending he didn’t know what he was doing. He shifts again before dropping the bag into Julia’s lap and elbows me in the shoulder. I laugh at him and meet Julia’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Thank you, she mouths. I wink back before focusing on the road, my chest a little more puffed than it was a minute ago. It’s just a backpack, Graham. Pace yourself.

“Who’s gonna win tonight? Our Desert Valley Tigers? Or those losers from Sun Hills?” Nathan asks. I know what he’s doing. The man loves a bet.

“Well, when you ask it like that, how can I pick anything besides the Tigers?” I ask.

“Just for funsies, wanna wager on it?”

Nailed it.

I smile, pretending that I need to be convinced. I know I’ll say yes. What can I say? I love a bet too. “Hmm. Maybe. What are the terms?”

“If Sun Hills wins, then I’ll do your homework for a week. If Desert Valley wins, you do mine.” Nathan holds out his hand.

“What? That’s a sucker’s bet. Sun Hills never wins. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen them score a touchdown,” I say, not moving to shake his hand.

“You want Graham to do your homework?” Chloe asks, clearly confused. “No offense.”

I put my hand to my chest. “A little taken. I’m very smart, just unmotivated. Ask my parents or my counselor. I could crush Nathan’s homework.”

“Okaaay.” Chloe draws out the word before going back to her phone. I never know what she’s doing on there. Does she really have that many people to text?

“Yeah, they suck.” Julia says, bringing the conversation back. “Their kicker can only kick onside. Between that and a QB that can throw maybe 3 yards, it’ll be a bloodbath.”

Chloe claps her hands. “Ooh! Really? Then we are in. I want Nathan to do my homework! Final terms: if Desert Valley wins, we all split Nathan’s homework for the next week. If Sun Hills wins, Nathan does all of ours.” Chloe grabs Nathan’s arm, making it look like he wants to shake my hand.

I grab Nathan’s hand and shake it hard. “Deal. Only, if Sun Hills wins, I don’t want Nathan to do my homework. I want Julia to go out with me. No take backs.”

“What? No! That’s not the deal,” Julia stammers.

“Deal,” Nathan and Chloe say in unison, exchanging a smile, finally finding something they can agree on. I glance between all of them, a smile growing on my face. I love my friends so much.

“Don’t worry, Julia. You said it yourself. There is no chance Sun Hills will take this game,” Chloe says with the confidence that only comes with not understanding football.

***

Julia

The final score is 18–14, Sun Hills Scorpions. I stare at the scoreboard in total shock.

“Well, you were right about one thing,” Nathan says. “They missed all their PATs. That kicker is terrible.” He nudges my shoulder. “You okay?”

I swallow hard. “Where did that new quarterback come from?” I don’t really have to do this, right? I mean, maybe one date won’t be so bad? Wait, yes. Yes, it will. I’ve made very little progress convincing myself over the past eleven years, and going out with him would absolutely put me back to square one. I need to consider my brother, my parents, his parents. Besides, Chloe and Nathan are the ones who agreed. One of them should have to go out with him, and I tell them as much.

“Ha. No. Hard pass,” Nathan says immediately.

“Uhm, yeah, I don’t think so,” Chloe says, her eyes darting between me and Graham.

“A bet’s a bet, Jules. You wouldn’t want to make a liar out of our friends, would you?” Graham says.

“No one asked me. I didn’t agree.” I stare at the field in dismay. The conversation continues around me, but I don’t engage. What do I do? If I give Graham an inch, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up giving him everything. I can’t do that. What if I end up being responsible for those friendships ruined? How can I trust that I’ll be the thing, the person, he doesn’t change his mind about? I shake my head, trying to calm my thoughts.

“Julia? Hello?” Chloe waves her hand in front of my face, trying to get any kind of reaction.

“Well, either way! Go Scorpions!” Graham yells, picking me up and spinning me around on the bleachers. I shiver, and goosebumps pop up on my arms, and I pray that Graham won’t notice them. It’s eighty-five degrees; he knows I’m not cold. His eyes track down my arms, and his lips twitch. “Tomorrow night, right? It’s a date?” Well, at least he didn’t mention them.

“Uhm, no. What is it they always say on TV? I am not a prize to be won. Put me down. No date or anything tomorrow night.” I struggle to get out of Graham’s arms. Although, truthfully, I could’ve struggled a lot more. Sue me. I like his arms, and what girl doesn’t like a good hug? He realizes I’m trying to get free and lets me go. I start running before I’m completely stable and stumble on the bleachers. I let the momentum fuel me, and I come out of it like a champ. Not exactly. More like I come out of it without falling but I’m counting it.

“Julia!” Nathan and Chloe yell. I keep going, in no mood to talk to any of them. I rush across the field and through the SHHS fans celebrating their big win. I bump into a group of cheerleaders, screaming and cheering.

“Sorry,” I mumble, as a hand grabs my arm, stopping my progress. I look over my shoulder, right into the gorgeous brown eyes that I really didn’t want to see.

“Julia. Wait. What’s going on? I won’t make you go out with me.” Graham's eyes are wide with panic. “I hate that you think I am that kind of guy. Truthfully, I was hoping that maybe you just needed a good excuse. But clearly I was wrong. I… like you. A lot. Are you really not interested in me?” He runs his fingers through his hair before putting his hat on backwards. Ugh. Backwards hats. Why are they so attractive?

“I don’t know what you want to hear, Graham. Please don’t make me say it again. Look around. There are a ton of girls that would jump at the chance to go out with you. Ask one of them.” I gesture toward the cheerleaders I ran into, all of them glancing at Graham in a way that is supposed to be subtle but isn’t at all.

“What? No, I don’t want to go out with anyone else. Please, I am begging you. What can I do to prove I am serious about you? About us, dating, being together.”

I stare at Graham for a few seconds, my mouth flopping open like a fish. I try to formulate my thoughts, explain why I can’t say yes, but honestly, right now I’m not sure I remember. Some girls giggle behind me, and I watch Graham’s eyes track them. I look at my feet, letting my brain work without Graham’s face distracting me. I square my shoulders, let out a deep breath, and look him in the eyes.

“Graham. Please. Just stop. What could possibly be so great about me to make you try so hard?” I mumble the last part but he hears it anyway.

Graham stares at me for a minute, his mouth slightly ajar, looking a little confused. His expression makes me wish I never asked the question.

“Never mind. Forget I asked.” I start towards the exit. His words stop me short.

“In seventh grade, Megan and Elizabeth liked to throw food at Brooke in the cafeteria. When she would turn around and look, they acted like they didn’t do anything. Sometimes they would leave chunks of pizza in her hood. One day, you were walking by and told the girls to cut it out. For the rest of the school year, you sat next to Brooke every day and glared at Megan and Elizabeth. Our freshman year, you tutored Grant so he could stay eligible for baseball. He didn’t pay you. He couldn’t pay you. It was out of the goodness of your heart. Last year, at the sophomore dance, that new kid was all alone. You pulled him into our group and made sure he knew you wanted him to be there. You smile at everyone in the hallway. You greet people by name. You make everyone feel like they matter and seeing them makes your day better. Everyone except me.” He blows out a frustrated breath. “Plus, you are beautiful. Make-people-run-into-you-because-you-stop-so-fast gorgeous, and you have no idea. I have a million amazing memories of the two of us together growing up. Is it so wrong that I want to add to those?”

I take a deep breath, trying to push down my emotions. How could a girl not want to say yes after that? “Graham, just stop.” I turn to leave right as I see Graham’s eyes light up in triumph.

“The list,” Graham declares.

I stutter to a stop. “What? What list?” I hold my breath, hoping against hope that he doesn’t actually remember that yellow paper I had hidden in the pages of my favorite book.

“The Boyfriend List. From the tree. I remember it. Give me the list. Let me show you I am serious. I bet I can cross everything off that list by Christmas—the dates, the gifts, all of it— and if I do it, you’ll be my girlfriend.” He points at me, his eyes lighting up.

“Ew. You want me to bet on being your girlfriend? That’s gross.”

“Okay, that’s true. It’s a little weird. How about…” He chews his bottom lip, trying to figure out new stakes. “My date to the New Year’s Charity Gala our moms do. Please. And if I do it, you’ll seriously consider giving me a shot, a real shot at being your boyfriend.”

“You obviously don’t remember it that clearly. That list is stupid and impossible. That guy doesn’t exist. Besides, that was a long time ago. I don’t have it anymore,” I lie, dropping my voice so people won’t overhear.

He gives me a confident grin and lowers his voice to match mine. “Ha. You kept it. You keep everything. And even if you didn't, you have an awesome memory. Rewrite it for me.” Determination glints in his eyes. “If I don’t finish it by Christmas, I’ll stop asking you out. Forever. Never again will you have to turn me down.”

What are the chances he can actually make this happen? Can I say yes without making it obvious how badly I want him to do it? I want an excuse to say yes, to finally give in to dating him, but is this it? Will he stick to it? What if he does it, and I was wrong, and he still quits? I bite my bottom lip. Graham’s eyes narrow in on my mouth, making me drop my lip and look down. Graham clears his throat and extends his hand.

“Deal?” he asks.

I square my shoulders and fix a confident smirk on my face that I definitely don’t feel. “Deal.” I grab his hand, clearly not learning my lesson from the football game.

***

Julia - Nine Years Earlier

I hold my breath and count in my mind. One Mississippi. Two Mississ… I’m interrupted by a loud crash of thunder. Every time a storm hits, Nathan hugs me and tells me that the storms aren’t as bad as they used to be. I am sure it is supposed to comfort me, but it really doesn’t. Thunder and lightning are thunder and lightning as far as I am concerned. All terrifying.

“Eeeee!” I squeal, and wrap my blanket around my back and make a run for it. I hesitate at the door, wondering if the thunder storm has, by some miracle, ended. A flash of light shows my reflection looking terrified. “Not over. I will just go downstairs and sit with Mom and Dad. It is barely past bedtime. They won’t mind at all. It won’t be a big deal. I can do this,” I tell myself. I swing the door open right as the next thunderclap sounds. I’m a little more than halfway down when I hear my mom’s favorite movie playing. I sit down to listen and watch my parents, momentarily distracted from the raging storm.

“Why would you wanna marry me for, anyhow?” Mom says along with the TV. I watch her turn to my dad, with wide hopeful eyes. Dad rolls his eyes, smiles a little and says, “So I can kiss ya anytime I want.” Then with a giggle that sounds a lot like me, Mom leans forward, brushing her lips across my dad’s mouth.

“Every time we watch this movie, I wonder what you would’ve said if I had asked you that,” Mom says. It’s supposed to not mean anything, but even I can tell it really does.

“What? Like a list? You want me to tell you why I wanted to marry you?” Dad smirks, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

“Well, originally I was hoping you would answer with the line from the movie, but if you want to talk about lists, sure. Let’s do that!”

“Did you have a list? Of why you wanted to marry me? Or more like things I had to do to qualify?”

“Oh, Connor, every girl has a list of qualifications.”

I smile to myself as I think about that. What is on my list? I wonder for a few seconds before another rumble of thunder shakes the house. I squeak, jumping up and running for my parents.

“Julia!” my dad says. “Are you okay? What are you doing out of bed?”

“I just got scared.” I burrow my nose into his shoulder. My parents chuckle softly and my mom starts rubbing my back.

“Okay, well you can stay with us for a few minutes, but we need to work on this, girlie. You’re seven now,” Mom says. As I let my eyes drift closed, I start thinking again. What is on my list?