Page 30

Chapter 30

Julia

The next week, I spend a lot of time with Mabel, practicing my song for the variety show. I am terrified. My voice shakes every time I try to sing, I miss more notes than I hit, and I can tell Mabel is lost for what she should do. She tries all the clichés and nothing works.

The Wednesday before the performance, she texts me and asks if I will bring Graham today. “It’s about time I meet him,” she says.

He has started wrestling, and it takes a lot of time, so I’m not sure, but it won’t hurt to ask.

Julia

Do you have wrestling practice today? Wanna meet Mabel?

Graham

Absolutely. I have practice until 4:30. Then I’m all yours.

At 4:45, Graham knocks on my door, his hair wet, smelling absolutely delicious. I give him a lingering hug, partially because I like to, but also, what kind of soap does he use? We head to the car, hand in hand, chatting about wrestling practice until we get to Mabel’s house.

“Okay, she can be a little shocking sometimes. I know it won’t work because you are both incorrigible, but please don’t encourage her.” He smiles at me, a mischievous look in his eyes. I sigh, putting the car in park.

Graham takes my bag and carries it to the front door.

I knock before letting myself in. “Mabel! We’re here!”

She comes rushing out of the kitchen, well, as much as an eighty-year-old woman can rush. She completely bypasses me and holds her hands out to Graham. “Graham! You are even more handsome than in pictures!”

Graham’s eyes light up, and he glances at me before winking at Mabel. “Well, I’ll have to come visit you more often! I need a good pick me up and nothing is better than being complimented by a beautiful woman.” He kisses her hand.

“Oh, you’re a charmer.” She bats her hands at him. “No wonder you have girls fighting over you.”

I cringe at the veiled reference to Ginger. “Did I tell you that Mabel is Ginger’s grandma?”

“Oh. Cool?”

“Yep, Ginger is mine. Lovely girl.” Mabel waves her hands and smiles at us. “But let’s chat about you two! Tell me all about The List! Julia, you go make some lemonade for us. Did Julia tell you that I have two lemon trees? They produce so much that I have fresh lemon juice all year round. I mean, made-from-frozen fresh lemon juice, but I still count it.”

“As you should,” Graham agrees, entirely in his element. He helps her to the couch and settles next to her. “Go on, Julia. I would like some lemonade.” He smirks. I raise my eyebrow at him and shake my head. He knows he won though. I could never disobey Mabel.

“Now, what’s your favorite item on The List?” Mabel asks Graham.

“Oh, that’s a good question. They’ve all been good, but number fourteen is kiss in the rain. How could I pick anything besides that?”

I hear Mabel clap her hands. “She told me all about that! At the Haunted House! Before that minx attached herself to you.” I can imagine the look she’s giving him.

“Minx?!” Graham’s voice is full of laughter. I carry the tray into the living room, and Graham jumps up to grab it from me.

“Oh, what a gentleman.” Mabel sighs. An actual, literal sigh. She’s totally in love. I don’t blame her. We spend the next half hour or so chatting about school, The List, and whatever random thing Mabel brings up. Eventually she claps her hands. “Now the reason we brought you here!”

“This wasn’t the reason?” Graham asks, looking at me. I shrug. I know as much as he does.

“I want Julia to sing in front of you. She needs practice. She can sometimes sing for me, but the closer we get to Friday, the worse she sounds. No offense, dearie.” She pats my leg but it doesn’t comfort me.

Graham is sitting up straight, his face as eager as a dog seeing a tennis ball.“Please, Julia! I’ve been waiting years for this,” he begs, his hands together in front of his chest. His eyes are so big, I don’t think I can say no even if I try.

I stand, shaking out my hands, hoping that some of my nerves will leave. I turn towards the kitchen and start humming. Slowly, I start singing, mostly mumbling.

“Enunciate!” Mabel calls. I take a deep breath and keep going, a little louder and more clear. “Good, but watch those breaths! You don’t want to ruin the flow.”

My voice cracks with nerves, and I stumble over the next line. I hear Mabel sigh, this time in frustration, not adoration.

I stop singing and drop my head in my hands. “I should probably take my name off the list,” I say, my voice muffled by my hands. The air shifts around me and Graham takes my hands in one of his. He uses his free hand to lift my chin. “Jules. Just look at me. Sing to me.”

“Sing to you?” My voice cracks again. “Singing to you would be even harder!”

“No, it won’t.” He is still holding my chin in his hand and starts to gently stroke my cheek. “Just hold my hands, close your eyes, and sing. I won’t say anything. Mabel won’t say anything. We’ll just listen. It’ll be like you’re alone.”

“The fact that you think you can be around me and I can pretend you aren’t makes me realize you have no idea how you make me feel,” I mumble.

Graham’s eyes light up and a cocky smile touches his lips. He gives me a quick kiss.“We are absolutely coming back to that comment later. But for now, let’s focus on the song. Want me to sing with you?”

“Yes. Let me grab the music,” I say, and Mabel is right there with the sheet music. “Whoa.” She gives me a Cheshire-esque grin and shuffles back to the couch.

Graham clears his throat and starts singing. I laugh a little and stop him. He started way too low. I hum a few notes with my eyes closed before I start singing. Graham matches me pretty well. He was blessed with a beautiful voice but doesn’t care that much about it.

My voice cracks a few times, and I stumble over some words, and each time I mess up, Graham squeezes my hands. I lose myself in the music and the feeling of my hands in Graham’s. I let my voice build and flow over the notes, singing each memorized word. At some point, Graham stops singing, but I don’t know exactly when. Somehow Graham being here is keeping me calm. Normally his presence gives me butterflies and makes me a little loopy, but there’s something constant and steady about him today. Is it his hands? Is it knowing that he’s watching me and only me? Nothing is distracting him today.

He keeps holding my hands until I let the last note fade away. I slowly open my eyes and see Graham with tears in his, a look of pure adoration and maybe, love?, on his face. “Julia.” I really love when he breathes my name like that. He rests his forehead on mine. “You have the most beautiful voice I have ever heard.” He presses a gentle kiss to my lips and then wraps his arms around me, squeezing tight.

“Julia!” Mabel claps. “Amazing! Graham, you must be at the performance on Friday!”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Graham says to Mabel, not letting go of me.

“Okay. This is nice and all, but separate.” She waves her hands at us. “Julia needs to practice again. This time, Graham, you sit there, and Julia, just sing to him.”

I square my shoulders, smile, and meet his eyes. He nods at me, and I start singing.

***

Graham

We are all in the front row of the Cactus Hills variety show with signs and leis. It’s nothing fancy, just a few portable risers and black curtains making a backstage area. On the far right side of the stage, there’s an electric piano, a music stand, and a guitar amp. There are some crepe streamers hung on the front edge of the makeshift stage and a big blue X taped off in the center. It’s directly in front of the webcam that is streaming the performance to the homes of those that aren’t able to attend.

It’s pretty obvious that we are all a little nervous, especially by the way Uncle Connor is wincing from Aunty Theresa gripping his hand too tightly. Chloe is scrolling through her phone way faster than she can actually take in the information, and Nathan is brooding. Again. He’s been in a bad mood since the day of the dance-posal but he won’t tell me what’s up. I asked Julia, and she said he’s fine and not to worry about it. I know she isn’t telling me everything she knows, but I suppose twin trumps best friend/boyfriend.

The lights slowly lower, and someone in a Cactus Hills polo shirt walks to center stage. “Welcome everyone to the Cactus Hills variety show! I am Troy, and I’ll be the cruise director tonight.” He pauses and lets the few chuckles die down. He frowns, clearly disappointed his joke didn’t land as well as he hoped. “Anyway, let’s get started! Everyone should have a copy of the performances and since that’s what everyone is here for, I’ll just let them come out in order. I’ll see you after the show!” He waves big and heads to the side of the stage.

A man in his sixties steps on to the stage. He’s dressed as a chimney sweep, complete with some dirt on his face that I assume is supposed to be soot. Actually, it could be soot. I really don’t know. A song from Mary Poppins turns on, and he wows us all with his Dick Van Dyke dance moves. The whole crowd gets into it, standing, clapping, and cheering. At the end of the song, he whips off his hat and gives a dramatic bow.

“Whew, hard to follow that,” Josie whispers. She is sitting between me and Nathan, and I see Nathan lean away from her. What is going on? Even weirder, Chloe is on Nathan’s other side which means he leaned into Chloe. I’ve been too busy with Julia lately. Nathan and I need a bro night, stat.

I lean across Josie and whisper, “Nate, wanna play video games tomorrow? Just the two of us?”

“Make it tonight,” Chloe interrupts. “Josie and I are taking Julia out for ice cream. You’ve had her all week. We want her tonight. You can hang with Nathan tonight and have Julia all day tomorrow.”

I shrug—it sounds like a good deal—and I cock a brow at Nathan. He shrugs back, and I take that to mean we have a finalized plan. I lean back and watch the next few performances.

This is truly a variety show. We have dancers, ventriloquists, mimes, baton twirlers, comedians, a few guitar players, and singers. The age range is broad—from a little girl, maybe four years old, playing a song on the piano to someone older than Mabel telling jokes from his wheelchair. It is so much fun, but with each performance, we get closer to Julia’s and my nerves ratchet up. Mabel pulled some strings and had Julia go last, right after Ginger, because Ginger didn’t want to follow Julia after Mabel said no one should want to. I can’t decide if that was cold or considerate.

Ginger walks to the electric keyboard at the edge of the stage. She makes eye contact with me, winks, and then says, “This song is dedicated to a special someone. Thanks for being here tonight.”

I can feel her staring at me the entire time, even though I am fascinated by my shoelaces. Chloe rolls her eyes. Josie pops her gum loudly and scoffs.

Ginger’s eyes narrow—we are in the front row after all—and she stretches her fingers. She plays very well and sings a song I’ve never heard before. After a minute of her continually glancing at me, I decide to head backstage. I walk behind the black curtain and see Julia, tense, arms folded, glaring daggers at Ginger. I wrap my arms around her waist, and she squeaks a little before spinning to meet my gaze.

“Graham!” She gives me a quick kiss and hug. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you missing your special performance?” She rolls her eyes and lets out a hiss between her clenched teeth.

I choose to ignore the second question.“I wanted to check on you. See how you’re holding up. Are you ready? You’ve got a good group out there. My parents—I know we said we wouldn’t invite them, but we forgot to tell your parents that—your parents, Josie, Nathan, Chloe, and her parents. We’re all rooting for you.”

“I wish she wasn’t such a good singer,” Julia basically growls, ignoring me completely.

“J. Stop. Look at me.” I hold her face with both hands. “It isn’t about her. It isn’t about me or Nathan or anyone. It’s about you. You. You’ve got this. Ignore her.”

Ginger lets out her final note to resounding applause. She skips over to us and puts her hand on my arm.

“Thank you for meeting me backstage! That’s so sweet.” Julia gives her a look of pure disgust and I drop my arm.

Julia mumbles, “Delusional,” under her breath.

“Just wishing my girl good luck.” I wrap my arm around Julia and give Ginger a bland smile. “Good job though. You have a beautiful voice.” I can’t help myself. I don’t have to flirt with her, but I am a give-credit-where-credit’s-due kind of person.

Ginger gives me a brilliant smile and giggles. “Thank you! It was just a warm-up, really, for the school talent show. Will you be there, too?”

Julia rolls her eyes and stomps onto the stage. My shoulders fall, and I give Ginger a hard stare.

“Stop it, Ginger. She’s my girlfriend. Catch up.” I rush back to my seat, ready to watch my girl steal the show.

Julia has her feet planted on the blue X and gives us a wobbly smile. I nod at her, trying to make eye contact. She won’t meet my eye or anyone else's, but I know she knows I’m here.

She closes her eyes and starts to sing. She chose to perform the song a cappella. The first few lines are good, a little quiet, and someone in the back yells for her to sing louder. She stumbles over the next word and has to stop to regroup.

I hold myself back from rushing the stage to hold her hand. She can do this , I remind myself over and over again.

Julia stands on the stage, frozen, her face pale. Her eyes dart across the audience, and I watch her face grow paler and tears threaten to fall.

I call her name and she turns to me. “You can do this, Jules. It’s just you and me.” Her eyes meet mine, and I can see her relax. She takes a step toward me, and Troy starts toward the stage, presumably to tell her to get back to her mark.

My dad stands up, blocking the path with his girth and mean resting face. Troy stops short before saying, “Excuse me.” My dad folds his arms and grunts at him, nodding toward the camera. “That other girl didn’t have to stand on the mark.”

“Well, she was playing the piano. This isn’t how…” My dad raises an eyebrow at him, and he shrinks back. “Never mind. I’ll figure it out.”

I make a face at him, confused why this matters at all before looking at Julia. “Deep breaths.”

She smiles at me, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. The audience is grumbling a little, asking each other what is taking so long. I glance around, trying to see Mabel but I can’t find her. I shake my head, turning my focus back to Julia. I smile and give her a thumbs up, which is stupid because her eyes are closed, but whatever.

She starts singing again, quietly. The song spreads through the activity room, and the noise dies down. As more and more people turn their focus to her, her voice builds, hitting every note.

I watch in awe. I will never be bored of hearing her sing. Her parents both have tears in their eyes. Mom and Dad are holding hands, staring at Julia, and Chloe’s parents are all wrapped up in each other, but thankfully not making out like usual. Julia’s voice can even calm those two down. I shift my focus to the lyrics.

“I saw you through the crowded room

And I just knew–

Knew I’d dance with you forever.

Yet forever is too short when my future shines

In the light of your eyes,

Sweet Mabel Lou.

I always knew.”

Julia raises her hands to her chest before spreading them wide at the end of the song, hitting the last note hard and letting it gently fade away. The room is completely silent for a few seconds, and she cracks one eye open. The applause is deafening. My dad is yelling as loud as only a Hawaiian man can. I am on my feet pumping my fist in the air and cheering so loud, my throat hurts. Chloe is jumping up and down, hugging everyone near her, and everyone else is clapping and yelling. There will be a lot of sore throats at Cactus Hills tonight, and I’m pretty sure my voice will be gone tomorrow, but watching Julia take it all in, her face glowing, makes it all worth it.