Page 23

Chapter 23

Graham

We pull up to the Pritchetts' house and I eye my dark bedroom window next door. Maybe I should just go to bed? Let the night end here and regroup for tomorrow. I glance at Julia, who still looks pretty bummed, and I decide that I need to fix it now. We climb out of the car and listen to the last few trick-or-treaters run down the street, yelling about which houses gave out the best candy. The front light is turned off at Julia’s house, an obvious sign that her parents are done handing out candy.

“Man, I hope my parents turned off the light because they didn’t want to keep handing stuff out, not because we ran out,” Nathan says, heading towards the house. “Graham, come on. Even if they did run out, I know where my mom hides some.” Well, with an invitation like that, how could I say no?

I shuffle my feet on the fake grass and turn to Julia.“Is it okay if I come?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Julia asks, but she doesn't make eye contact.

I sigh and follow Nathan. I toe off my boots outside the front door and wait for the girls to go inside first. Chloe and Josie smile at me, and Julia does an awkward nod, once again with no eye contact. I reach toward her, trying to grab her hand, but she sees me and pulls away. “Julia? Can I talk to you?”

“Not enough time.” She walks into the house and stops at the bottom of the stairs. “I think I’m going to just go to bed. It's been a long day. I’ll see you guys later.” She waves halfheartedly and heads up the stairs.

“Sorry, Graham. I tried to help.” Chloe shrugs before going into the TV room.

I stand at the bottom of the stairs, watching her go, entirely unsure of what I should do next. I don’t know how long I stand there, but I hear the TV turn on and Nathan walks over.

“You get it, right? Why she’s bugged?”

“No, not at all. If I knew, I wouldn’t be talking to you. I’d be apologizing to her.”

Nathan shrugs. “It’s not entirely your fault. She knows who you are. It’s the flirting. The girl at the haunted house. You let her hang on you, and you two flirted. I didn’t see all of it, but I noticed some of it.”

“What? I didn’t. I was being nice. A good guy. Isn’t that a good thing?” I scrub my hands through my hair, letting my frustration come out in my tone.

“Whoa, dude. Don’t shoot the messenger.” He holds his hands up. “I am trying to help. I know I give you a hard time about it, but I do want this to work out. Why do you think I agreed to the bet and have been helping you? I’m team… Grulia? Jam?”

I shake my head at him and let out a small laugh. “Okay. Sorry. So, I flirt too much? I flirt with her way more than anyone else.”

“Honestly, I can’t entirely explain it. I think that since she never flirts with anyone, how comfortable you are with everyone makes her uncomfortable. Plus, when you flirt with her and then turn around and flirt with Chloe or a drunk girl at a haunted house, she doesn’t trust it. It makes you two flirting less important.”

“She told you this?”

“Not in so many words, but yeah. I’m not saying change yourself, but you should definitely talk to Julia about it.” He claps his hand on my back, and I force a smile at him.

“Thanks, man. Good advice. Now, since we’re talking about girls, let’s talk about Josie.” I waggle my eyebrows at him.

“Dude. You mess with your eyebrows way too often.” Nathan shoves me, and I make my face blank and try again.

“Josie?” I say, almost in a robot voice. He punches my arm before shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t know, man. She’s beautiful and fun, but she doesn’t seem interested. I don’t know how hard I should try.”

“I guess that depends on how much you like her. I’m, obviously, a big believer in trying hard. Embarrassing yourself. Grand gestures. Small gestures. Gifts, dates, whatever. Lay it all out there so you have no regrets.”

“I’m pretty sure if I did what you’re doing, I would regret all kinds of things,” Nathan says. I punch him on the arm, and he laughs and rubs it. We start toward the living room to join Josie and Chloe for the rest of the movie.

“All I’m saying is, would you regret trying?”

“Yeah, Graham, I probably would.” Nathan says quietly, staring at Josie’s profile.

“Too bad, though,” I muse. “I always thought you and Chloe would be a great couple.” I bump my fist on his shoulder and squeeze myself onto the couch between Chloe and Josie. “Ladies! What’s good?”

***

Julia

I leave my door open just a crack, trying not to listen to my friends downstairs, but I hate having my door entirely closed. I like the little sliver of light from the hallway, and there is always a breeze. My dad keeps every ceiling fan in the entire house running at full speed always. We basically live in a tornado, but I’ve learned that when you are used to moving air, still air is uncomfortable.

I hear Graham joking about the movie, and I try to convince myself to go downstairs. He would be excited to see me. I know it. Well, I hope it. I’m doing fine, but that girl at the haunted house knocked me back. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it's hard. I’ve spent the last four years being a teenage girl, and an unfortunate side effect is hits to your self esteem. I know I am smart, I am funny, I am attractive, I am kind, and like my mom says, I am the whole package. But I forget. I let myself dwell in the dumps and even knowing this, I still am sitting in my room, trying to act as if missing out isn’t bothering me.

I move to my desk and spin around in the chair. My eye catches the edge of the box, half-hidden behind my shirts, that I keep the notes from Graham in. I stare at it for a good thirty seconds before I give in. I grab it and dump it out on my bed. There are so many notes, all folded up, never read. I’ve found them over the past five weeks stuck in my windshield, my backpack, in the flowers, on my pillow. Nathan gave me some. I haven’t managed to build up enough courage to read them. I built this list up in my mind over the past nine years, and what if Graham doesn’t deliver correctly? What if the love notes aren’t what I’ve always dreamed of? I want personal things, not generic poetry or “ur cute”. I didn’t tell Graham that though, so I could hardly blame him for underperforming. He hasn’t missed for the other items, a voice in the back of my mind whispers. Man alive, whose team is that voice on?

I grab my copy of The List. There are fourteen items on the list; fifteen, if I count read to me. I draw a heart next to kiss me in the rain and notice that he only has five things left. I grab a notebook from my desk and start writing. I write down everything I can remember about the night of the football game and the bet. I write about the night I got scared and watched the movie with my parents. I write about paintballing, the meteor shower, the irrigation going off, the haunted house. I’ll have to ask my mom about printing some pictures to attach to the book. I want to remember everything. I grab the notes and start unfolding them, gluing them into the book. I try to not read them but words jump out at me. Favorite. Beautiful. Fun. List. Julia. Love. Crush. Kiss. I finish gluing the last sheet in and quickly close the book. I take a deep breath and grab my phone to text Chloe. I type out a quick message, asking her to come up here, but I hesitate before pressing send. Do I want to share this with anyone? Should I read the notes alone? I bite my lip, staring at my phone. I close out the message and open a new one.

Julia

Hey, can you come up here? I need your help with something.

I stare at my phone, willing the dots to pop up. Instead, I hear muffled footsteps on the stairs followed by a light knock.

“Julia?” Graham says, gently pushing the door open. “You need something?” His eyes meet mine and he looks nervous, hopeful, and excited. I wring my hands together before picking up the notebook. I hold it out for him to take, and he opens the door the rest of the way and sits on my bed. He holds the book, almost reverently, clearly waiting for more information. I sit there, watching him for a while.

“Did you know in Canada, these are called scribblers? Spiral notebooks? Cool, huh?” Graham says.

“What? Why do you know that? And why did you tell me that?” I choke out a laugh.

“I’m clearly nervous. I feel like you’re dumping me before we get a real chance to start something. I know I messed up. I flirted with that girl. I swear I didn’t mean to. When I talked about a beautiful girl calling me hot, I meant you. You didn’t say it with words, but I saw your face when you saw me in costume. That’s why I winked. I was trying…” I put my finger to his lips to stop his rambling.

“Graham. Read me the notes.”

“The notes? What notes?” He starts flipping through the notebook and comes to the glued in scraps of paper. “Oh, the notes.” He clears his throat. “Really? You want to read them again?” Now it was my time to clear my throat.

“Well, I haven’t technically read them yet.” I feel Graham look at me and I meet his gaze, seeing curiosity in his eyes.

“Why not?”

“I was… scared. I know it’s just a stupid list but at the same time, it’s not a stupid list. I’ve spent years dreaming about it, dreaming about a boy sweeping me off my feet by doing these things. Ever since you forgot to…” I bite my lip, stopping my words.

“Forgot to what?” he asks when I stop talking.

I hesitate for a minute, and he reaches over, putting his hand over mine. I know he is trying to help, trying to encourage me to tell him, but it isn’t going to happen today.

“Never mind. This is silly. I’ll read the notes later.” I let go of his hand and head toward the door.

“‘I remember being in preschool with you. You were so smart. You still are. I’m in awe of your brain.’” I turn to look at him, the book open on his lap, but his eyes are focused on me. What is he doing? “‘You look gorgeous today. I love your hair.’ ‘Thank you for giving me a chance. I hope doing this list will prove how I feel.’” He stands up, letting the notebook fall to the ground. “‘You are one of my favorite people. Being friends with you is the best part of my life. Being more will only make it better.’” He takes a step towards me. I can hear my heart beating in my chest. Can Graham hear it? Do I care? He takes another step. “‘We always have so much fun together. Kissing would make it even more fun.’” He smirks a little, and my cheeks turn red and my lips twitch. I look down, to hide my reaction. “‘Julia, I don’t know if this will be forever, but I would love nothing more than to have a happy for now with you. Chloe told me to tell you that one of her movies said, Love is friendship of fire. I want that with you.’” Graham finally reaches me and threads his fingers through both of my hands. He gently touches his forehead to mine.

“You memorized them?”

“Not all of them are new. Some I wrote years ago and was waiting for a good opportunity to give them to you.” He wipes my cheeks as tears spill over my lashes.

“Graham,” I whisper.

“Julia,” he breathes. “Do you forgive me?”

I go on my toes and press my lips to his. I feel his mouth turn up in a smile before he lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around my waist. After a few seconds or maybe minutes— who can tell?—I hear my mom lightly clear her throat.

“I didn’t want to interrupt because it was so romantic but also, I’m pretty sure we don’t want this in bedrooms. So, hmm, I was going to say go somewhere else, but that feels like a strange thing to say to my teenage daughter and her beau. So instead I’ll ruin the moment and walk away slowly. No more kissing in here. Thank you and good night.” My mom gives a mock salute before rushing to her bedroom.

“I really like your mom,” Graham says.

“Really? I think she needs to work on her timing.”