Page 24 of Antiletum (The Nocturne #1)

A jeweled toe kicks the gown away like it personally is the cause of every negative thing that may have ever happened in Blair’s life.

Gazing down at the heap with a frown, I grumble, “The dress and I may have had some deep rooted disagreements, but it’s nothing we wouldn’t have worked out.”

It was too pretty not to try, at least. And technically, it was a gift from my husband.

Val’s wide, arrogant smile plasters itself at the forefront of my brain.

How the earrings I pierced him with myself complement his strange, black eyes and the rings in his lip.

His build—wide, tall, and strong. Striking.

Devastating . The ease and contentment of spending time with him.

Allowing myself to enjoy it, even if not for exactly what it was.

Unbothered, Blair pulls out a long strip of measuring fabric and gets to work while an apprentice simultaneously drops a thin slip over my head, hiding my nakedness. Several garment samples are brought forth.

Modiste is not the profession I would have assumed for this woman. Especially not with all the smoke wisps she commands. A very large part of me wonders how Parliament sees her gift as best utilized while she’s making clothing.

As if Blair can hear my thoughts, she offers, “You’d be surprised secrets people are willing to spill in the presence of those they have hired. Not deemed important enough to tighten their lips. A special level of narcissism, if you ask me.”

Selise pauses her discussion on fabrics with one of the apprentices. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Blair tuts. “Hubris. Such a ridiculous thing to exist. We often do have mighty opinions of ourselves. Though at the end of the day, we all eat and sleep and shit and die. We all stink the same beneath our perfumes. All the nobles in The Citadel and otherwise are no different from the squalor patrolling the streets of the city when their finery is peeled away. In the end, we’re all the same. ”

An apprentice raises his glass of water in salute, drinking it down in a single gulp as if it was the finest spirit. It makes me wonder just how far discontentment spreads.

The young man brings forth a bolt of shimmery black fabric, presenting me with a monumental decision that he is most likely unaware of .

Last night was the first time I’ve openly worn mine and Val’s colors and barn owl symbol. The robe in my chambers at the manor doesn’t count since it was only the two of us.

But now is the true test on just how publicly committed to my husband I’ll be.

If I can fully accept the role meant for my sister.

Val gave me the option of choosing my own clothing just the same as my path forward.

And right now, I feel like I’ll be submitting my answer, whether he intended for me to give it this way or not.

I have the option to turn down our official colors.

Or, I can make the decision to commit as the Lady of Noctua .

Provide a strong front with Val, so early in our positions. Whatever that may mean.

Another wardrobe stands tall, a spill of rainbow hues tumbling out in a promise of defiance.

The decision is mine. Keep to my muted tones and pastels that I’ve used to blend in, or accept the black and silver that will make me stand out.

After last night, I’m an even bigger tangle of confusion, battling with my wants, my heartache, and all the change around me.

Nothing feels real. Every morning, I open my eyes expecting to find myself back in my rooms at my parents estate.

To hear the sounds of workers tending the fields of our antiletum .

It was those crops that helped my parents present Rainah to court, that found her betrothed to the former Lord’s son.

I nod encouragingly to the apprentice. More sheets of black and silver fabric are brought forth, as well as stitching samples of owls, wings, and feathers.

My acceptance is easy, natural. A part of me feels like Val was right when he said that us, two necromancers, finding each other through such tragedy was meant to be .

Not piping in to ask for different colors, I allow my trousseau to be planned in hues of midnight and stardust, taking another step into fully embracing my marriage and the hope for freedom within our faction—despite the harrowing voices still trying to echo in my head.

Everything Val has said, the subtle hints hidden in Blair’s talk of symbols, Selise in quiet solidarity during said talk, the apprentice’s salute of agreement—all these people who I have been placed in the orbit of, they strive for freedom for everyone , it sounds like.

The way they speak stands for all citizens of Noctua .

For the nobles who may have some level of wealth and status, but their deos given magical power is stifled in the bondage of arranged marriages.

And for the ones who are poor, starving, or sick just the same.

My vinculum band catches my attention. Its origins are wholesome, a symbol all their own. One of unshakeable love and devotion.

Something ugly slithers through me. If what Val told me is true, something beautiful and pure has been turned into a machination of control.

Binding magic to be used sparingly, and everyone is alerted by the Ellden clocks when someone breaks the rules.

Including Parliament. And Parliament sanctions such pairings, solidifying the strongest of powers into the confines of limitations.

I shiver.

“Don’t tell me you’re cold,” Blair practically scolds. “It’s scorching like the deepest layers of infernum .” She pinches my side. “Though you are quite scrawny.”

Endearment slinks through me, and I allow myself to bask in it, accepting myself into this makeshift family who is welcoming me with open arms.